Some Things Gots to Change Around Here...

Whilst in Dallas I was can you say a lump on a log. I think my Father the Marine would be sooooo disappointed in me if he knew how lazy I have been this past week. I mean it I swear, I swear things are going to change before I can like fit into my skinny jeans (I am pushing it). Semper Fi Amy Semper Fi, Suck it up as my Father would say. I say to my self, "Self I think I can I think I can". The following is in no particular order.

1: Masturbate at least once a week, hey this is not not for sexual pleasure I swear, it is to release chemicals in my brain that will help me reach homeostasis. ( You brought that right?)

2. Go to the Gym at least 4 times a week. If I start to slack I am going to kick my own arise and I will not let my self Masturbate as punishment and then you know that means....no homeostasis ..I swear it is not sexual I swear...

4. Eat better food. Why my fridge right now has plenty of raw veggies...I am forced to eat them I have nothing else, unless I start to eat my own arm off. Which in case I am kind of vain and need my arm. I have every variety of Rice cakes -that is known to all man in my cabinets (but they taste so good I swear).If I try to cheat, I will not allow myself to masturbate and we all know what that means no homeostasis...It's not sexual I swear...

6. Wright down everything I'm not anal'; will not wright down what I eat so surly I will not eat that much...

7. And there you have it, some things got to change around here...

A Couple of Reasons Why....

So, I am in Dallas the Big D for a couple of days, suddenly a flood of memories come over me and I realized why I left.

One year for my birthday I agree to go on a date with a new guy. He picked me up in a plush red crushed velvet interior, no airconditioning, old beat up car. The car started smoking as we left the safety of my house. Before the car caught on fire we made it to the restraunt. After my date put out the fire (I might ad that I was not impressed with his firefighting techques), we decided to eat and have some alcohol(to kill my embarrassment, lots of alcohol cause it is the answer for everything). After my date had several drinks, he disclosed the one thing that would seal the deal( Seal his fate forever as if the car ordeal was not enough). He told me he had a fake Ball...Nutt, Testical... Ballas, Nugget if you will...

And after everything that transpired he still had the Ball to call me...

I once Dated a Chiroprator who was from Canada that should have been my first clue. We met out at the cove. Fun, times my girls and I were living it up having some drinks when he swept me up in his Adam Sandler (before he was fat) looks, and crack up personality. Hey I like to laugh and I was getting ready to go to Nursing School we had a lot in common. The he took his hat off. OMG No, don't say it. The man was not even 30yrs old and he had a toupee. Oh it was a expensive toupee (can you say Epoxy , GLUE to his head), He would get the old ""Hair Cut", wink wink...every 6 weeks ( I might ad that he was extrememly emotional for this event) . After I had gone out with this guy for a couple of months. Hey, he was fun, nice, successful, and I thought if I pretend that it wasn't there then maybe it was just a figment of my imgination. One day he comes to me and says I have something to tell you...I say please don't tell me cause then cause then it will be true...

I couldn't handle the truth Jack..I just couldn't handle the truth...
(I have affinity for the Movie, " A Few Good Men")

One time one time...Okay you getting the picture...I have been on a lot of bad first dates and dated of couple of guys that were can we say questionalble at the very least. Hey, I'm a nice girl it could happen to anyone...a toupee here and there...a fake ball ever now and then...

Go figure?

At 86yrs Old I Think You Might Be....

The other night I walked in a patient room as I always do...
So, tell me what is going on with you??

86yrs old: you have beautiful teeth, I used to be a dentist, and that was when dentist did surgery and why I even help birth babies.

Me: Wow, thanks want to tell me why your here today.

86yrs old: You have really nice hair, who does your high lights.

ME: I do my own hair thanks, ummmm you want to tell me what's wrong with you tonight?

86yrs old: You have beautiful long eyelashes, you know I graduated 2nd in my class when I when to dental school. The only person that beat me was a guy that was a MD first.

Me: Really, so are you having chest pain tonight is that why you are here? (His daughter is at the bedside urging her father to tell me about his chest pain)

86 yrs old: You have really nice boobs too...

Me: skews me?...I laugh did he just say that you have really nice boobs?

And there you have it...86yrs. old man I think you just a little too old for me, but thanks for the complements...

This is Why I am Messed up...

Me: Ma do you have to be topless in the swimming pool (my mother has Double D's to die for and still standing at attention; she knows this) I think the neighbor is looking at you through the fence.

Ma: What the neighbors never seen boobs before? It's hot out and I am in my own back yard.

Me: Ma please put at least a T-shirt on...

Ma: No...Porque it hot that's why...

Me: I give up. This is what is wrong with me...

Hey "GYM GUY" that white skin tight shirt that you wear the the gym is not attractive...
I just thought I would put that one out there...

I Said It...I'm Such Dork

It is the ever so sequential moment in a person’s life where one opens their heart and tells their Boyfriend/Girlfriend that they indeed LOVE them..

Thoughts of you that know me know that I am not about feelings( Damn it Jim I’m a Marine). I would rather eat grubs in a rain forest, I would rather strip naked and go streaking through the parking lot (Oh wait a minute I think I have already done that not so painful), I would rather be subjected to watching basketball for 48 days and nights(I can only handle so much beer at one time), and I would rather make out with David Hasselhoff…okay let’s not go that far.

I would rather do all of thoughts things than tell “Engineer Guy” in person that I really Love him. It is a mystery to why I can tell all of the blog world my most intimate details or share the gross stories of my life (like when I was shit on at work, hold on Steve I am getting to that story).

I have obsessed about this moment for the last month. I knew that the time would come that I would have to really tell him how I feel about him. Here is the problem we both are people that have a hard time with talking about our emotions. I was a dinner with my girlfriend the other night and she says to me, “I don't understand all of the text messages you guys send to each other” or the fact that when I really have to tell him something personal I must write to him via e-mail. I tell her I am not sure; it is like I need a filter. I need to filter my feelings through any means necessary. What’s wrong with me?? She is unsure, but offers the fact that I am from Arkansas. I concur.

So, Love was in the air the other night, and I was feeling somewhat brave (I think that is the wine talking). My sweetheart is of town right now with a cold and runny nose(my poor baby). I am feeling he needs a little bit of my love. I think it is time to tell him that I love him. I open my phone to call him, then decide I should just text him (thank Goodness for technology). I write, “I love you J” and there you have it. The moment I have been obsessing over for the past month or so. He writes back, “ this is not how I imagined telling you, but I love you too”.
Awe, he loves me too. Yep, we are in touch with each other. He’s from the country too. I think this is how all country folks relay their feelings for each other…Awe, My heart skips a beat he loves me...

I'm such a dork...

Some Little Unknown Facts About Me....

I am not sure why I am telling all of you who read my blog these little unknown facts about me.

Maybe because I fell guilty because everyone is always telling me their most personal informations like...ummmm One time guy comes in and is like I am having chest pain...his heart rate 151...and he is like my balls are sticky.

What? Chest pain + sticky Balls (Testicals people, Nuts)= using Crack...
I say come clean and tell me what you have been doing...He says,"okay, I have been smoking crack and hanging out with some girls...well I think theiy were girls"...talk about TMI

1. I am a bacterica Phobe...I can't eat chicken or any meat that has been left out for more than 30 minutes. I can't eat meat that has any sign of freezer burn.

2. I love to pop zits..I am somewhat obessessive about the boil. My poor boyfriend gets put through the picking machine every time I see him. He knows this fact about me and tolerates it only because He gets my juice box, or at least that is what he tells me. Poor guy grew up in a family that is not touchy feely and then he gets to be apart of my family that will make out with you(even slip you the tongue if you don't watch out) when they meet you for the first time...

3. My car contains shoes,( lots of them). clothes, the kitchen sink, socks, various shades of lipstick, tampons, millions of little peices of paper that I might need to write on one day so I can't get rid of them, a blanket (just in case I get stuck in a bilizzard. Hey I know I live in the desert but you just never know), and tide detergent. That is not even including the trunk...let's not go there.

4. I must light candles, put on mood music, no one can be in the house, the lights must be turned down and I must say to myself ,"It is okay everyone is doing it". This all has to take place when I go to the bathroom and that is just to pee cause that is all I do... nothing else. I swear I swear.

5. I am chronically on the phone. I think that I would die...die with out my phone with me. It is like my life line. I am always always on the phone talking with my friends and family. If my phone is not attached to my ear permently; it is attached to my arse.

So, there you have it. Not as interesting as Chest pain+ Sticky Balls= smoking crack, but that is all I got for ya!!

Go figure?

Did I do That??

Remembering the most embarrassing moments in my life...

So a couple of years back, (many) I went on my tri-annual visit to my girlfriend Kristin's house in another state. This girlfriend of mine and I had the best time together; during the year when we were apart I think the phone might have grown to our ears...ahhh the times.

When I would visit her we would always hang out with this particular group of friends; some girls and some guys. Well, this particular night we had an apartment party at our friends' house that lived close to ASU campus. They had a cute apartment that included a very expensive red couch. Hey, I am just saying this is a good point to know during this story.

So, someone got out the Captain (cause we were a spicy group) and we all started drinking and playing drinking games. (I know you ‘all are thinking not Amy? I know it is hard to believe hu?) I think there were a couple of shots, maybe some random making out with some of they guys at the party and then I fell a sleep on the red couch. Somewhere about 4ish to 5ish in the morning I started to feel a little sweaty, a little stomach rumble and the room started spinning. I threw-up on the red couch; yes I know I repeat I threw-up on the red couch. (Tacky I know what can I say it was the Captain's fault).

John and Kristin my bosom buddies decided to help me out by cleaning the red couch up with a clearer that included bleach in it. I awoke not really remembering this moment in time where I vomited on the red couch or the fact that they did me a favor by cleaning me and the couch up. So imagine my surprise to awake and open my eye-balls gently (I had a raging headache, Nooo really your saying?) to the white spot on the couch. Maybe if I act like it is not really there they will not notice. Darn I do not think that will work. I die...dead. I apologize feeling really embbarrassed and John and Kristin try to come to my aid by relaying the fact that they were in deed the ones who cleaned the red couch. My friends say it is okay, but you know they had to tell that story everytime someone wondered about the white spots on their red couch. Died...dead.

Help...

Okay what was I thinking...

I was like self you have had plenty of time off lately for the holidays, right? Why not move into the New Year by up- dating my blog and giving it a new look.

Okay why did I ever do that cause now I can't see who post their comments...they all say anonymous????

How do I fix this???

Please Help...

Can you say

The girls were out last night!

Amber don't kill me cause your not smiling at the camera. I promise to put up a better one of you later...
Happy New Years!
Can you say Toasted
yep...Toasted

Ringing in the New Year...

The wind break...what is wrong with that??

So, one morning whilst minding my own business at the crack ass of dawn, I was on my way to work when out of no where a Scooby do van hit me from behind and then ran...a true hit and run and it happened to me…me can you believe??? me

I know right, I was in shock I was in dismay...I did not know what to do...

Half of my bumper was hanging off on the passengers side...thank goodness I was okay because lord knows you must be dieing and going into cardiac arrest if ur going to call in to work...

I'll just take an Advil and forget about the whip bash and headache for right now...
I warn my fellow worker that I am doped up on the Advil...I might not be thinking correctly...I might not be on my how do we say … P’s & Q’s or what have not…

So, for a week or so I drive around with a wind break...my best friend says Amies...you have to get that bumper fixed, your driving much slower due to the wind break in the back...that flapper has to go...Your car is not I repeat not a bat-mobile. What do you think that your are a pilot?...breaking the wing to help you to stop at the red light...
I say how do I fix the bumper if I have no money due to the peanuts that I work for....I do not think that the mechanics will take peanuts for payment...he says lets get out the super glue...

Okay then…we get out the super, super glue and a bolt or two and now my bumper is no longer a wind breaker…why I can almost not tell I was hit from behind by a Scooby do van…or maybe just a little….

Meeting the Parents...

Awe...he's so sweet...

I of coarse can't wait till Christmas to give Engineer Guy his presents because I think I am clever and I get him a Dane Cook CD that cracks me up...can you tell I love to laugh?...entertain myself as you will...

I haven’t see him much in the past couple of weeks and I am meeting his parent's for the first time on Christmas...What??"Eyes Open Wide" and I am not talking about the movie or is that "Eyes Wide Open Shut"

His Mother is Grammar genius and well we all know that that is not my strong point...I'm a lover not a speller...I am nervous...hey I talk to people all the time...didn't I go to his work party and say, "Okay the party can start now I am here"... Why am I so nervous...I do not think she bites....She did one time tell him to suck it up and quit playing football like a pussy...She can be as mean as my mother; so I should be trained right?

Maybe I should talk to her about the Dane Cook CD where he say..."How to make a statement at a party, go to the coat room...Shit on or around the coats then walk out. After walking out make a statement, OMG I think someone shit on the coats...OMG did someone shit on my coat; it smells like shit in here...then gracefully leave...you'll be the talk of the party and no one will know it is you"

What do you think?? Will it go over well???

We give each other only one present and I only see him for a couple of minutes I am working a lot this week...I open his card whilst the card sings We wish you a Merry Christmas in Spanish...it is a Massage...awe...so thoughtful full

I wonder does the massage have a happy ending? I might need a little release after meeting the parents...

The Boyfriend sent this to me, I thought I would share...is he trying to tell me something??

Ingredients:1 bottle Jose Cuervo Tequila
1 cup of water
1 tsp baking soda
1 cup of sugar
1 tsp salt1 cup of brown sugar
Lemon juice
4 large eggs
1 cup nuts
2 cups of dried fruit

Instructions:Sample the Cuervo to check quality. Take a large bowl, check the Cuervoagain to be sure it is of the highest quality, pour one level cup and drink.Turn on the electric mixer. Beat one cup of butter in a large fluffybowl. Add one teaspoon of sugar. Beat again. At this point it's best to makesure the Cuervo is sill OK, try another cup just in case.Turn off the mixerer thingy. Break 2 leggs and add to the bowl and chuckin the cup of dried fruit, Pick the frigging fruit off floor. Mix on the turner. If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaterers just pry it loose with a drewscriver. Sample the Cuervo to check for tonsisticity. Next, sift two cups of salt, or something. Check the Jose Cuervo. Now shift the lemon juice and strain your nuts. Add one table. Add aspoon of sugar, or somefink. Whatever you can find. Greash the oven. Turn the cake tin 360 degrees and try not to fall over. Don't forget to beat off the turner. Finally, throw the bowl through the drink, finish the Cose Juervo and make sure to put the stove in the dishwasher.
CHERRY MISTMAS!

__________________________________________________

A Funny

The Talk

It seems like yesterday that I was holding my little 6lbs 10 oz. baby in my arms...Boiling his nipples until he was a year old (excessive I know I was young) Carrying him until he was 5 yrs. old whilst his feet dragged the ground..and now well he is almost 12 yrs. Old, taller than me and talks like a man...God help me...Why do I have to be a nurse...I have to arm him with information that I think that his 12 yr old mind can't handle...but by way of being his mother and preparing him for adulthood (they never tell you that it will be so painful to see them grow up to be vibrant, strong young men) I must do. Because sometimes knowing too much is a curse, I know that even though I do not want to tell him about phyliss, gondaloria, chlymidious or the worst of them all the hivv...I must arm him, or at least make him aware of what lurks out in the no mans land. Hence we have the talk...
He says mom please do we have to talk about this?? He is all red and blotchy...I say yes son with the medical dictionary by my side and a condom. I say open it up...he looks at me as if I am crazy...but I know that kids his age are experimenting and I am worried for his safety...As he pulls the condom out he is wondering what the H E double hockey sticks I am about to tell him...I keep it medical, showing him pictures of STD's making him aware of what is out there...I tell him that if he chooses to do "something" he should always be armed like a soldier and that really "something" should only be shared with someone very special, someone that he is married to... I let him know that I do not approve of casual "somethings" but if he chooses to do "something" that he should always be armed...he says okay okay mom enough I know I know...but I know that he does not know...then he tells me mom a girl at school said she wants to go with me...you know circle yes or no kind of thing...I say what did you say...he says my heart hurt to tell her no...I said why did you tell her no...."grasp, my heart is hurting right now as I gulp for air" He says, well I heard your voice in my head saying that it's not time, I'm not ready for that kind of thing."Me holding back the tears, and my heart full of pride" I say son I am proud of you, you made the right choice. Wow, I must be doing something right...I mean I know that I am going to mess him up somehow don't we all, but darn that kid...he is just the best of the best... and the torcher continues as I arm him with all kinds of information to help him become a successful productive adult. I have no worries though I know that above and beyond all… he will have the same out look on life as I have “Faith, Truth, Honor and Never Judging Others”...these are the things that are important in life...

The Un-Official.... Official First Fight.....

So, I guess it had to happen sometime right...I mean I mean ... could we really get through like 6 months without a fight...or really a unofficial fight...cause I am not sure that you can really call it a fight but let me just tell you...I am going to tease him for the rest of his natural born life...because because well...I just can...

Here is how it starts...Its Engineer guy's birthday...So, I take him to a nice dinner..susi and sake...ummmmm yeah sake is the key word here...He drinks 3 sake/ beers...

I am telling one of my fabulous stories...hey...(they are interesting)...and I say the word "FUNNER"...OMG what is he the Grammer Police...
He says honey.."FUNNER" is not a word...

Wait a min. arn't we out at dinner where you are drinking having a good time and you stop by correcting my grammer???? What are we like in 3rd grade...what is it against the law to talk country...hey my family is from Arkansas...what do you want...and up tight crachity old English Major...
I make it through dinner still trying to make his day special...he's 29...what do boys know anyway?? ...but then then...we go back to his place where we are hanging out with his roomate (who is a hoot..funny, this guys a sweetheart) and he brings up the fact that I say the word "FUNNER" ...Roomate guy (by the way these guys are from West Virgina how much more red-neck does it get?) says what are you the grammer police...

I sat good night to roomate guy and go to bed...Engineer guy comes in the room and says, I know that your mad at me I am sorry...I was...ummm it is a bad habit that I learn from my Mother...I did not mean in any way to make you feel as if I thought you were dumb....I'm really sorry...I turn over...he says with his breath smelling of sake and beer...I really care about you...I do...(are we talking feeling here cause you know I am not about feelings)
I say...so tonight was not as funner as last night....
and that was it...the unofficial official fight.....

Proof that I was in love with aqua net hair spray

I can't believe that I am putting out this pic...due to the very nature of mybig hair...but I did write that I would share it with blog land when I could scan it...okay so what was I thinking...blue eye shadow...and ahhhhh what about thoughs eye brows... you got to love the fact that no holds bar I must have had the biggest hair in high school...I think I might have won a metal for it...enjoy the laugh people

Saw This Cracked Me up....enjoy

The Weekend Christmas Party

It was the Christmas party this weekend, sometimes I wonder how Engineer guy can handle my personality...
I walk in and say...to people I hardly know...okay the party can start now...
Wine.... can I say I drank a lot of wine...

It was fun we laughed...we talked...okay I mostly talked...what's wrong with me...I can't ever turn it off...

Engineer guy...my sweet...I'm sorry about spilling the wine on your nice pink shirt...(he could pull it off...the pink shirt I mean)...no I wanted him to pull it off..tehee...just a joke...I make myself laugh at times...very easy to amuse myself...

Oh yeah and for spilling wine in the elevator...it could happen..it really could

Normally I would not use the C word but ummmmm Thanksgiving was the shi'et...what more else can I say...

That's right I did it...I did it...do I remember it though

So, I haven't seen my new boyfriend...can I call him that..I think I can...
I mean...I am not seeing anyone else and ummmm we never talk about anything serious so that sounds like the protocol...no feelings right...
Friday....he says sweetheart ummmm I really need to finish this last baseball game do you want to come with me...Im like ummmm is there beer there...and ummmmm your going to hit the ball cause I can't go home with you if you suck...it is just how it is....
I say sure I can meet the folks that you work with...no problem...and well there is beer there so I am good...maybe I had a little too much beer...it could happen...the liver is evil and it must be punished...that is all I am saying...so any how...I have really been wanting to ask him how he feels about me cause you know we are both not about feelings...(except when I have been drinking then it is no holds
bars) ...
J: I say...on the way home...how do you feel about me...I need to know...really...I have been wondering I know that he cares but I wan to hear it...
why wouldn't I ?
He says how do I feel....well I never taken anyone around the people I work with....
Me: so seriously how do you feel...lets just get down to the raw deal...he says I really like you and I like crazy so we are good...
Just like Greg B says....he is attentive is he is all in...and if not he is just not that into you....you will know...
Point in case...I woke like ohhh crap did I say that ....you know I have to be the one that doesn't care as much....
He's sweet...he is loving and he handles my crazyness...what more could I ask for ....
J, I really care about you too...but ummmm let's not tell him that okay...deal..

Score..Did I Just Say That Out-Loud, I Think I Did

I love my crazy, wonderful, beautiful, amazing, sometimes painful life...

You know that you are happy again when the little things make you smile...smile so much your face starts to hurt...
ahhhh life is sweet..

Thoughs of you that know me..have read my crazy, painful, crack-up up stories and know that in May I was just not...not one happy camper..but I' back...that's it... I said it... I'm back

I found myself...I found that girl that everybody missed...that girl that laughs so much at the stupid little things in life... that girl that cracks her ownself up...that's right she is back with full force..

I mean...Okay so you know...that well Dr. GoldenRod pretty much was the only person to see that girl in May..that's cause well you know...He's ummmm Dr. GoldenRod and one day one day...I will pull him in the clean utility room..but ummm until then he still keeps me on my toes and makes me smile...

Life does have thoughs funny ways of making up for all the bad times...last night "mister guy" text me...says he misses me and would like to see me and the kid... wants me to know that he thinks of me often and really still loves me soooo sooo much...
I text him back and say and I really ment it...sorry but things are different for me now...I am sorry but I can't see you...I just can't...I don't want too...really I have no interest in seeing him ever again and then and then...

I get in my car and drive to "Engineer guy's" house...ahhhh I haven't seen him in 10 days...our lips meet...I feel my heart beat faster...as he draws me closer to him.... and the rest is history...The chemistry between us is electric...and I am amazed...

Yep, I love this crazy, beautiful, special, sometimes crazy painful amazing life...
Score...did I just say that out-loud, yes I think I did..all I can say is wow...WOW

Feel them up...

Sorry for being MIA...dealing with politics...but still thinking of you all...

I guess I have never been one to close my mouth...lesson learned...keep your feelings to your self...unless of coarse your writting on your blog then it is fair game right??
Off one soap box on another one...

Hey..to all those wonderful women out there...check your breast...call all your girlfriends and bug them...to feel themselves up...every month...

Life is beautiful...pass on the message

Off soap box....

Wonder Twins Power Activate....

Remember when we were kids and and you would play superfriends....
Oh yeah I wanted to always play the twins...I was the girl and my cousin was the boy...he would always turn into water...while I would turn into a hawk...something with flight powers cause I just thought that was so darn cool....
You would put you fist together and yell to the top of your lungs....Wonder powers activate...ahhh thoughs were the days...so carefree....so easy


These days I turn to my friend...the one with the baboo butt at verious times...Wonder twin...I say...activate...

Thanks...you know who you are...for always being there for me....even though I am not about feelings...cause...I'm just not...he knows my heart...and well...I would not trade him for the world....

I will never ask you to deactivate...just remember that....love you

Life in Like a Box of Chocolates...U Never Know What Your Going to Get

I was watching Forest Gump this weekend...seeing life though his simple young blue eyes and I thought to myself...

Self Forest's mother was right when she said life is like a box of chocolates you never know what your going to get...most of the time life is sweet, but sometimes you get that chocolate that you just don't like....

I have come to realize that "Mister Guy" is my Mr. Big (Sex in the City)and no matter how I look at it...no matter how much he loves me it will never work...I have realized this...oh it still hurts but I have realized that the fight is over and I am throwing in the towel...I can no long float like a butterfly and sting like a bee...

The amazing thing is all this time I have been dating random guys mostly all that I have not been attracted to or ones that I think only want my body...(or maybe that is just a figment of my imagination) but let me have the dream people...

I have met one guy that through it all has never changed who he was... has given me space when I have needed it and who has put a smile on my face...He's younger...he's smart and he is a family person who cares sooo deeply from what I can tell...He is patient and kind beyond...he treats me like a princess...

I have realized people are different and no one will be my fire fighter guy...no one will be Mister guy...but there will be someone who is sweet...who I am attracted too...who makes me smile...who makes me feel important and special...who respects me and what I do and will listen tooo all all my gross stories..and never fails me....hasn't lied to me...

It really is just the begining of our relationship, but I am hopeful...

Sometimes I tell my patients not to give up, that God sometimes has a bigger and greater life planned for us that we may not dream for ourselves....

What I did Today....

Rolled up out of the couch...not even the the bed....at 1800 that's right people 6 Pm...hey...ehy I worked last night and it was not pretty let me just tell ya...

Cheecked my e-mail...got lots of e-mails from the online dating site of men way tooo old and unattrractive...(hey listen I am no gold digger here...no dirty old men for me...) I get that enough at the hospital...old balls...I repeat...old balls...

Took a shower...shaved...

Got ready for a date...went to his apartment for got my phone had to drive home(nerved tha tthis time wanting to call the whole thing off and go back to bed) drove back home picked my phone up drove back to his house...went to dinner...enjoyed my conversation...did he hear me or was he just looking at my boobs the whole time???

Drove home thought...he is only interested in my body...when am I going to find someone who interested in both. my body and mind.....hey I'd give it up all the time for the right person...

Read my blog lovers blog...he finally came around and found out that I am the one...the one for him cause I know all the dirty things he likes to do the fear in his flies the fire in his flies...I the one that's buzin aroudn his head...he know's me...he know's me....

and then and then...I drink 4 beers and go to the couch...what can I say my day has been productive...
sweet

What...

Porque this is hott...

Lady says to me...my nanna is really getting old...last week she was lining up her poo in a row...
Me: What?

Lady: yeah...she also like smears her poo on the windows and in her hair and all over her body...

Me: What???

Lady: yeah...she also collects her hair that has fallen out...she rolls it out it a ball...

Me: What??? my mind is deboggled...

Things that make you want to ummmmm...

I almost threw-up last week at work when a woman came in complaining of constipation...she had an ostomy bad (collects poop) and apparently she hadn't had much output that day...I thought I was going to die..die... after I gave her some pain medication and the bag began to fill with poo...sick...she called me in the room and said...hey I have to empty this thing before it explodes...Holy Crap...no pun intended...

I can just vision it now...the bag explodes and crap is all over her and the new bright and shiny ER rooms..complete with flat TV screens....

Wow I have met my nemisi...I can't handle ostomy bags and their tendencys to explode..

Go Figure?

A Blast from the Past

Wow...so I got a phone call today that was a blast from the past...thoughs of you that have followed my tragic life...thoughs of you that have read my blog from the beginning ....would know that once once I was in love with a married paramedic...hey to my favor I had no no idea that he was married.,....hey I even even went to Mexico with his captain and wife...no one no one even told me...he lived with his best friend.....how was I to know...I let him go as soon as I knew I assure you....but but...today I get a call from his bestest bestest friend...well no his bestest friend anymore because he saw what lieing can do to a person...how it can break your heart into a million peices...how you can care and think of only other people...understanding why we make the mistakes that we make/....I bear no hate from this as you might have read in the past.....

I get a call from AL-B's best friend at the time( no more he is a virtious man and saw what lieing can do to a person)...wow a blast from the past...he is no longer a EMT he is a full fledge Paramedic...can you say 16 G wow...I am impressed..he says missed you...so proud of you....you made it you really made it...I say of coarse did you think that I would let him....him...break me...I was destine to be to be the ER nurse I am today...Paramedic guy I am proud of you too...you did it...you made it too...Good to hear from you and how you saved that little girls life....I am hear for you....I say...as you let me cry on your shoulder not so long ago....

thanks....thanks....paramedic guy...my thoughts are with you...

Just when...Just When...

Just when you think you have it bad...your life is somewhat dull and uneventfull...

You can always...always turn on Jerry Springer and find something that makes you feel as if you are living like a Queen...

I turned the chanels today as I was surfing the TV..and there they were...28yr female..engaged to a 37 yr male...who was sleeping with a 19yrl girl that they paid 2500.00 dollars to to birth their baby...

That is not even the worst of it...28 yr old let's her man have sex with the 19 yr...19 yr old falls for the 37 yr old...

Okay...WTF?? can I just say...this guy was topless on Springer with man boobs that look as if he had nursed a baby and all the plump fell out of them...I mean they were swinging throught the wind...people swinging...they were almost hanging down to his navel....

Can you say swing...and Oh my...wow his stomach was swinging too...wow...I mean wow...

so when you think that your life is going bad you can always always...turn on Springer and find someone more pitiful than your self....Holy Moly...

Swing...

The Juice and the Box

So, the other day I had a conversation with a friend of mine...we were discussing why "Mister Guy" still calls me and likes to torcher me cause he knows that I still care...I know what's wrong with me...why should I care...I'm getting there though I swear...I am almost fed up...and the conversation goes like this...

Me: Why does Mister Guy still call me and torcher me by telling me that he still loves me and really would like to work things out with me...seems that since he has dated other girls he has figured out that infact he still loves me...

Friend: It's your Juice Box...he misses your juice box..

Me: when he had my juice box he hardly ever wanted it...now all of a sudden he wants it...

Friend; This is about control...other people want your juice box so now he wants it...it is like the cave man sydrome...if he has you then he feels like he is in control...

Me: Why do men...why when they have your juice box they do not want it as much as if it is not as exciting...and what are men willing to do for the juice box...

Friend: Men if they want your juice box they will do just about anything to get it...

Me: well...he is not ever going to get even so much as a peak at my juice box..
we are are in 2006 and still still..men are like cavemen

Go Figure? I think I would like to try another straw...

My Random Thoughts of the Day

First, I would like to say that last night at work all I had were clingers...
That’s right that's right clingers...can't the girl get a break..My night went by so fast my head was almost spinning...

Turnin around right round baby right round...


Dr. so and so was there and all I got to say is...ummm it is okay that he was flirting with me all night?...ahhhh yeah I liked it...really..No harm done right...I'm profession I never go pass the line and like grab him and pull him to an empty room and ahhhh like make-out with him...but ahhh yeah I might have wanted to...Darn no empty rooms...

What a girl can fantasize right?

I got a random e-mail from a guy that claimed that when I started my on-line dating adventure that he had in fact talked to me on the phone and a shared ever-so- many e-mails with me…ahhhh yeah…do I remember? Nooooo…and I certainly did not remember the porn photos he sent me either…OMG…WTF?? he sent a frontal pic that pretty much showed all of his package standing attention …giving me the salute …Semper Fi Amy ... Semper Fi …I mean I mean I could see his pubs (neatly trimmed I might add a landing strip) in all…( light brown in color)…Gee guy..ahhh thanks for the free porn pictures ….I think…..

Uhhhh should we give him an A + or just an A for effort…

Contents of my purse: 2 lip glosses…Oh not just any lip glosses…they were only only a dollar each and and they are glittery…Of most importance…almost as important as how much I paid for them…
My purse has several..okay many little peaces of paper…do I need these papers…no they only get in the way when I try to give the cashier lady pennies and then they end up with the pennies…and then and then…cashier lady says I do not need you little scraps of paper…shie’t sorry…I thought you did…..
My purse also has random coins lingering at the bottom of my purse just waiting for me to use them so that so that they are no longer lonely hanging loosely by themselves…

More later on the contents of my purse…My brain hurts from having to think too much last night…I know I am surprised to that I can actually critically think..and heyyyyy I think my professors would be surprised too….

p.s....I need some chocolate...chocolate anyone..not for me for my brain...I swear

Sweet...

One door closes the other open..

Oh What a Night Late December Back in 63 '

Yes, that is right I am infact singing again to myself...because because...I am happy ....oh just happy...and no 30' or Awaiting I have not been drinking wine this time...

No,wine is not the answer today...

So, you ask me what is it making you smile today...making you proud (I am infact pushing out my chest "boobs") out right now cause well....I am sooo proud...

Why you ask?...what could make her gleam with pride...what could make her tap dance in in the shower...what could make me wear my blue eye shadow out tonight and not even even care what other girls think.....No it is not a man this time...
Most of the time ...but not this time...

You know those people that you work with...the ones from New York that are brasen to say the very least...the ones that will chew you up and spit you out...like a piece of very old gum...or chew... tehee

Well, yeah so there is this Female Dr. I work with...and to say the very least...she is tough on the nurses...she once told a seasoned nurse that she should be a hostess...not even a waitress..Yikes...I in fact tippy toe around her most of the time as I clumsly try not to do things wrong..Hey I'm new...

Last night...last night she said to me...Amy good call...thanks for saving my butt....

What? I was in shock...I looked behind me (finger pointing to my chest "boobs") to look for another nurse named Amy...No she was infact talking to me....Wow...I mean Wow...

What a feeling...something something somthing...dancing throught the night....yeahhhh

Oh yeah that's me again singing...to the beat of my own drum...yeah I have been asked if I road the short bus to school.. and well I did...so,hip hop hurray for the short bus....

Dare I say it...

I was pondering the this fact the other day...

Other day: I pondered to myself...what is the sweetest thing a man has ever said to you??

HMMMMMMMM...dare I say it...I mean what will people in blog land think of me...and then and then...I was reading a favorite fellow bloggers blog and she said...some people some people hide behind their blog...as if to have this make-belief character...that is not at all who they are...and I said to myself...

Self...it is riska'...should you tell it...can we talk sex here...I mean if i can tell you all about my friends bamboo ass I guess I can tell you what is the sweetest thing a man ever told me....and I quote this is straight from his mouth...

I mean does it get any sweeter than this....
Last night was amazing.....I haven't had chemistry like that with somebody in a long time....or sex with somebody as beautiful as you ever. = ) I have to admit that I was shocked everything happened too but like you said we only live once.

and there you have it...ahhh the memories...I degress...I have to look fondly back at my life...

Go figure?....

These Are My Conversations..What's Wrong With Me...

Me: So wow that food I cooked was good but man my stomach is tore up...

Friend: my stomach is tore up too...I have like been in the bathroom ten times today..

Me: Really ar you okay?

Friend: Yes, I am fine but my ass feels like a bamboo butt...

Me: Really...a bamboo butt?? was it my dinner??

Friend: No it was the taco bell I ate today or maybe it was the 12 beers I had last night..

Me: Do you ahhhh have hemrroids??Do you need me to take a look at your butt??

Friend: No I do not have hemrroids and I do not need you to look at my bamboo butt hole??

Me: Why not? how do you know that you do not have hemrroids?? I might need to take a look...I mean I am a nurse...I see that sort of thing all the time...

Friend: I have had hemrroids before because one time one time I pushed to hard...and I felt them...

Me: Are you sure that you do not need me to look?? when did you have hemrriods...

Friend: No, you haven't see my bamboo butt before and your not looking at it...and I am sure that I do not have hemrroids...and I am not telling you when I had hemrroids...

Me: I'm sorry that your butt feels sore and like a bamboo butt...

Friend: thanks...I mean for caring about my sore bamboo butt...

What is sad people is that this kind of talk goes on all the time...I can't turn it off people...it never ends..I almost talked him into it thougth...I almost had him...

UMMMM Yeah So.....

So it has come to my attention that my family is not the only crazy and bizarre family around...

I mean...so yeah my family will pick your head until it is picked clean of zits...and they may drink a little to much and then go thought the Carls Jr. drive though at like 3:00 am in the morning and then say, "hey burrito guy"(me saying, there's no burrito guy here this a fast food burger joint sister) while she is swirling her underwear around her pointer finger....hey burrito guy...look at me underwear...ummmm...no there are no carne asda burritos here with guacamole and sour cream...

Okay so it has come to my attention that some families have weird ways of dealing with accidents…Picture this…17 male 2nd degree burns to the face, neck and arms…and what do they do…family puts egg…then get this…toothpaste…and then and then…they put mustard…mustard??? WTF Can you say ouch…seriously no seriously what were they thinking??? Don’t worry all…the doctor at first thought that he was at a hot dog stand when it somehow blew up and splashed mustard and mayo all over him…but then we kinda got the story...and oh yeah despite the side condiments he is fine…

Go figure?

What's Wrong With ME...

So, I got sucked in...I mean really sucked in...

I said I really do not think that I will like it...I only like the really deal...

I'm not sure I can handle the drama...and I think I see this kind of stuff all the time at work...

Yep...sucked in...you guessed it people I have been watching the videos of "NIP & TUCK"

Wow and I thought I had a crazy drama life...not anything like Christians...

Sex...drugs...rock-in-roll....could it get any better than this...

I degress...yes...i have turned to the TV to make my life exciting....or at least to get a glimps of someone having mind blowing sex....

So you think you can dance....

In my ever relently attempt to keep my butt from falling to the ground and dragging to the ground I attempt to make it to the gym several times a week...

and who do I see at my my gym...mister " I live to torcher you doctor guy"...so let me explain...

Single ER doctor that I love to torcher...who thinks I am completely an idoit...or at least he knows that I am realy really new since I handed him an ET tube backward and he like hit the respritory therapist(slap) with it...ohhhh my bad I claim...sorry this is my first intibation...yes I am an idiot.. Sure ahhh yeah I know what I am doing...

I feel bad for him...he says to me at the gym...so you go to this gym uhh?...OUCH...maybe he is saying...wow...not her again....

Quick...I act like I know what I am doing lifting the chest weights...yes...so I am really clumbsy do my job...but...ahhhh i can work out...are you impressed.??..I degress...I am afraid not he probably doesn't even care...
why me...really why me...
One day...you just wait one day....

Can you say...ummmmm Hard as a Rock

First I would like to tell you all that ummmm Dog the Bounty Hunter is my new crush...So you ask me what is it about Dog that you love?

I think it is his really long string dyed blond hair..or that fact that he feathers it up in the front where it like sticks out bigger than my bangs that I had in high school...

Or maybe it is all his kids...he has nine or that fact that he likes to hunt fugatives...or the tight leather pants or Big Big can of Mace....I not really sure what it is but he is my new facination....

So, can you say hard as a rock...okay this is not even right...so if your swimish do not read this part...but you know know that I love to gross everyone out...

Here is goes...ummmmm at what point do you seek out medical help...really do you like wait untill you arm falls off...or wait untill your whole leg is black and necrotic, oozing green stuff...smelling like something died in it and then say hey...maybe I should like get that looked at...

So...ever heard of Priprism......Ohhhh the priprism.....an errection that's right I said errection that last more than 4-6 hrs...

Well let's just say people if you have an errection that last for more than 4-6 hours due to the new drugs like Viagra or Cealis...Get help...I repeat get help...

Do not wait because if you do.... your Peni might fall off...that's right people I said it your Penis(penis, penis, penis...I love saying that) might fall off...

So, the other day someone had priprism...his errection started at 6:00 am and he did not seek help until 11:00 pm...I think he was told it might fall off...we had to drain it...that's right I said drain it...he looked like frankinstein..with two neelde inserted (i told you not everyone could handle this story) bilaterally at the base of Peni.....

and the moral to this story...do not wait untill your legs, arms, Penis...fall off to get help...it might just fall off if you don't....

MIA...can you say Missing in Action....

Okay so the past several weeks I have been trying to figure out the broken peices of my life...
I know I am emotional right now...It's PMS...there I said it...PMS

PMS aka for I have been really bitchy and emotional all at the same time...

How can this happen to me...darn...darnnnnn

So, anywho...whilst I try to figure out the broken peices of my life...I have been having some fun...in the sun...

but still have many things to work out...you guessed it..most of all of this has to do with "Mister Guy" who still has not stopped calling...

Am I destined to have this pain linger amounst my heart fer ever...

well...more later I must get ready for work...where at least all the crazies love me...

My Most

What the F@#$ was I thinking??

Okay so you all know that I am going to cabo in October...a long ass time away..so why in the H E double hocky sticks am I busting my ass right now to get into prime shape...

Let's just say that although I loved the Hip Hop class ( I could not remember all of the moves to save my life and watching other people confused me more)...but hey I loved the work out...it reminded me of my old dancing days...

My Arse is sore...I admit it people I am not that 25 yr old girl that I am in my mind anymore..I woke up with a serious neck pain..and then and then I knew...my Ass is old...I mean you would think that a girl of my age would still be able to kick up her heels and break out the moves with out having to use a wheelchair the next day...

What was I thinking...I was thinking that my ass has got to get in to prime(butt standing at attention) so that I am not like the only girl there wearing a rap..cause my ass is dragging the ground...hey...give me a break..I'm working on it...

Until then I will be taking advil...lots..drinking a lot of water...and oh yeah beer...its Friday and I am going out with my peeps...wohoo...

Hip Hop Hurray....ooooooohhhhh

In an effort to keep my ass standing up..to keep my butt from dragging to the ground I am in fact embarking on a new workout adventure...

The hip hop dance class...
Let's just say people that I think I can dance...just ask my friends...for instance this past Friday I thought it would be hot to dance on the stage of a well known upscale bar here in the valley...and uhhhh well some how I had visions of my old cheerleader days (it must have been all the martinis) and I thought that I would practice a basket catch...and uhhhh I ate dirt...but I recovered really fast..picked myself up and once again began busting out my moves...

Now there is a point to this story...cause you know that I always have a point...
Point in case: I am able to dance to my own grove ( I might fall down but I always get up) but I might embarrass myself in this class if I have to follow directions…I mean I might get visions of my old cheerleader days and decide to shake my grove thing the wrong way…good thing there will not be any martinis there or I might try to get everyone in a pyramid….

Men...What Part of Men of Honor Do You Not Understand...

Call me crazy...call me a woman that has been asked when are your balls going to drop...

What part of Truth...Honor...Faith...Do you not understand...

When I believe in something I can't be persueded..there is no changing my mind..so then what happens...I stand for something and I am a B#@$% ...I say if you do not stand for something then you will fall for anything...

Faith...Truth...Honor...is what my father has taught me...do I not deserve that much...

Proof People that I No Longer Need the Aqua Net...

My identity reviled...That's right people...I figured it out...

Okay not really... I really bribed Q by showing him my big boobs again...again...

So, I just wanted everyone to know that I have indeed given up the aqua net...and the frosted lipstick..but not the green eyeshadow...because well you can't give up all of your youth...

Yes, that is "Mister Guy" in the back round who who...will not stop calling me....

Hip Hip Hurray for Aqua Net Hair Spray..

I was reminded this morning while reading Awaiting blog of how ridiculous you look and are in high school...

Vision it..big brown permed hair...blue-green eye shadow (OMG if you could see how slutty it looked) huge, huge bangs (who did not have them) Pink frosted lip stick..I have full round lips and with the frosted lipstick you could barley see them...Hey I have see women still still wearing this shade of lipstick (someone should tell them..hey I can't see your lips)....

So, one morning the torcher of my life..what happen? what could make me loss my mind and like decide that I was all of a sudden sick unable to attend school that day...I ran out of hair spray...

I almost died I tell you..died...MOM how could you let me run out of the aqua net hair spray???
You know that every morning I have to put on my helmet of hair spray...for thoughts of you that are male this is equivalent to not being able to play in the Friday night football game....

Of course my mother would not let me stay home and yelled at me for crying in the car all the way to school...I tell her..you must must not love me to make me go to school with out my crutch..all day all I could think about was how my bangs fell and how terrible I must look because my bangs were not 3 inces (okay 5 inches) high...

It was the torcher of my life..thank God I did not run out of frosted lipstick and green eye shadow or else or else I surely would not make it thought the day...

Go figure?

My Gift....

Last night whilst I was working in the ER we have an ambo bring in “MAN DOWN”…

Turns out “Young Guy” is a quadriplegic (all extremities effected) apparently gun shot wound to the neck..sad I know but this is not what I found out..

So we are doing are magic trying to save this guys life…I say, “Hey everyone , I think I smell “MARY JANE” on our boy…They say, “ what no way your crazy” (he had a trach) “ what do you think he is smoking through his trach?” Turns out is urine tox came back and guess what guess what people I was RIGHT…that’s right people…it’s a gift…I always find out…I feel them out… no getting away with it…no hiding it from me…

So, do I care if people do drugs…no…Of coarse not it is their prerogative no judgment my way really…just tell me the truth so I can give you the best care really…really I mean that…and there you have it my gift…DRUG FINDER OUT GIRL/ ROLLER-DERBY GIRL..

Go Figure?

Roller Durby Here I Come....

My new obsession...because you know that I always have to be obsessed with something...

Roller Durby...that's right people I said it...me...in fish nets ...roller skates...tight hot pants...ohhhh yeah!!!!

So, last week at "computer guy's" party I met some girls that wanted me to be apart of the new roller durby team...my responce hell ya!!! I get to "what" kick some ass...oh yeah!!!!

So, tonight I'm on my way to the skateland...I can see it now..visions of the people cheering me on as my team wins the victory...some how, some way ...I will be famous people...even if it is in my own mind....

hey it could happen...

Welcome to my world.....

So, today I finally went apartment shopping...or at least that might be what you call it cause I only went to one place...and I really did not shop for it.."computer guy" said hey why don't you check this place out...

Ahhh spoiled already..what can I say he handles business...
I say I can only afford something in the lower hundreds because I am a new nurse...I am only an ER nurse for the glamour of it all...definitely not for the pay.....

They say we have 2 big pools, a tennis court (porque it's hot here who the hell plays tennis), there are many barbeques around the campus, you have laundry facilities around the corner (a dollar to wash, 50 cents to dry) (yeah I love walking in the heat to wash clothes) covered parking that is first come first serve, and and the apartment is furnished with great 1970's furniture.

I say do I really have to keep the white washed tables in the living room...she says ahhh we do not have storage so yeah you have too...what? forced to keep 1970's end tables...can it get any better than this??? I say where is the dishwasher...she says you are the dish washer...ohhhh my..okay...

The apartment is all inclusive...you get electric, water, and cable in included for the low low price of 655.00 a month...

I say how many square footage is it...ohh I am guest mating 700 sq feet....

I'll take it...hey anything is better than living with "Mister guy" hey they do not have online halo there that's a plus...

hey I always wanted to live in an apartment with one wall of paneling...

Seriously what was he thinking...

So I am at work...in scrubs mind you...

I walk in a patients room who has a spider bite on his lower abdomen...I say pull down your pants a little so I can get a better look at the bite (He has a puss wound that was red and it was really close to his pubic area) He smiles...I ask him if he is in pain...he says yes...

I know that he is a former Drug user...he admits that he is now in recovery from using crack cocaine...I think nothing of it (I see this kind of stuff all the time) but I tell him that I will not be giving him any narcotics cause I do not want him to backslide...he agrees and says thanks for thinking of his recovery...he smiles more...

As I am dressing his lacerated wound...he says so are you married?? I say No...He then says do you have a boyfriend...

I now look at him in amazement...man does he really think that I would want to get involved with someone who is a crack addict?? Does he think that I am impressed with his so called 15 day sobriety stint...

Seriously, seriously what was he thinking…I mean good for him that he is trying to get his act together, but why spider bite guy would you think that I would even think about giving you my number…I am astonished….plus I am a professional I am not going to give my number to a patient unless of coarse it was like Mathew McCaughney..then hey I might write it on his dressing and I might even say oh your going to have to take thoughs pants off so that I can dress your wound appropriately...no shame in my game...

No former crack head guy….not gonna happen just not gonna happen

I'm Just saying....

Improvise

Adapt

&

Overcome

One time in Bancock when the world started turning....

I seen and angle standing next to me...( me attempting again to sing a song that I totally probably got the words wrong to)...

Can you say beautiful people party...yes that's right...

You say when, where and with who???

I do not know what I did to have such a wonderful life lately...it is like one big party...

So, "Computer Guy" and I are going to Cabo San Lucas...Sammy Hagar here I come...

When in October...ahhh I am dreaming about it right now...

Can I just say that "Computer Guy" is like soooo great....I mean people his guy cracks me up...I could talk to him for hours on the phone about nothing at all....

See my face I'm smiling...I am glowing...ahhhhh life is sweet....

You know it is great when you meet someone who likes likes you for you...appreciates the little things...the little things...man where have you been my whole life...I mean this guy takes my breath away...

He had a party on Saturday...It was soooo fun...His friends really liked me...they really liked me...

He really likes me...did I say that I was glowing...cause I think I am glowing...

You know it can happen... you can find someone who compliments you...that completes you (I know that is sooo cheesy..who cares..I'm all in) He's handsome, he's fit, he makes me want to be the best that I can be, he's successful, he's funny..OMG he is soooo funny...did I say that he was funny...
It's definately a new day...
One time in Bancock when the world starts turning.....ohhhhh yeahhhhh

Detective

Detective...I call myself the detective....

Here is the thing people...I grew up with a mother that knew everything ....everything that I did wrong she found out...I could not pull anything over on her...then look what happen...


Detective that is just it...I find out everything...everything...to a fault..
I think it is a disease that eats away at my brain at times and makes me crazy(but hey that is another blog)

A patient is acting funny wants to leave for a minute...I am suspicious...ah yeah I find her lighting up a spoon filled with an unknown substance...AKA meth...

I find it out people I am the detective...

and when and when "mister guy" lies to me ....I find out...

He know's this...he knows that i will hunt down the truth and drag it to the surface...

Detective I tell you...

and when and when my kid is acting very strange like like he doesn't know me...like i am a stranger that has a contagious disease...like I might rub off and him and like someone will know that I am his mother...

I find out the truth...I thought it would never happen to me...I thought that I was in-fact immune to this disease..called growing up and not thinking that your parents are cool....

I find out...detective I tell you....that he is like every other kid out there that does not want to be close to their parents...

He doesn't want to hang out with me as much as he used to....

what happen to my little boy that used to cling cling to my leg and never let go...

what happen to my little boy that would talk endlessly to me...and never never shut up??

being a detective is not all that's it cracked up to be...

hey kid...I'm still cool...I think
Go figure?

I'm hommmmmeeee!!!!!!!!

Can you say...PARTY!!!!!

Wow much fun can one girl and a kid have....San Diego was the best!!!

The kid went wild...riding the roller coaster 30 times...he was like cccccccccc yahhhhhhh!!!

Me..... I parting like it was 1999...oh I feel a song comming on....something something...kiss...extra time and your kissssssss...ohhhh yeah!!!

Funnnn times...like could my life get any better...thanks .... I really mean thanks... thanks for what ever I did to get this lucky...ahhhh such a lucky girl....

Beach + sand+ tan skin + myties(who cares at this point if I can spell it you get it) + great hotel off the beach + eating out at the greatest places + laughing a lot with friends = OMG the bestest fun ever....life is good people

You know when I think about how unhappy I have been this past year I can't believe that I did not leave sooner...I mean.....I have been laughing non-stop for like the last month for sure....

Hey "Mister Guy" you can have your" old" girl friend...hell you can have anyone...cause well I don't need yah...that's right I said it...don't need ya!!!! life is soooo much sweeter...I think that your going to have to do damage control though cause well I know that you do not know how to tell the truth...so I had to do it for yahhh...

Hey I don't make the rules I just demand that you live by them!!!

Can you say PARTY!!! Ohhhhhh yeahhhhh life it definiately gooddddddd!!!!!

Can I just say that I am soooo happy...the kid is here...we are going on vacation to cali..

Beach...sand...water = happiness...ohhhhh yeahhhh

Does life get better than this!!!


Wooohoooo!!!

So happy...jumping for joy..shi'et...life is good sooo sweet!!!

This is on my T-shirt

You can't not break me, you can not crush me....

For I am the cockroach of love....

That's it He Must Have Gone Crazy...

I knew it....that is why he parked his behind in front of the TV to play halo for hour and hours upon no end...

He must have gone crazy..

"Mister Guy" left town yesterday I had to see him because I commited to watching our dogs while he was off experiencing the world..before he left.... he in deed found out that I went to
Veva Las Vegas...Ohhhhh yeahhhh...Veva Las Vegas...

He must have gone crazy is all I can think...

He says to me, "Do not ever wash your make-up off and wipe with my towels" apparently he is afraid that the water based mascara will not come out of his towels..(these towel are not like new or even expensive..but hey I will just like let my face air dry from now on)...

He says he thought he new me better and how could I go to Las Vegas with "Doctor Guy"??

I donno...he ahhhh like asked me to go and uhhhh who would turn that down??Hey "Doctor Guy" is really fun to be with...(more on him later)..

Then he rants and raves...so on so forth..ask me if I am really going to stay at the house or am I like going to run the streets with "Doctor Guy"....

He must have gone crazy...

So, here is my question...why does he care right now...didn't I spend countless hours trying to get him to care...why now "Mister Guy"....

Why is it when you love someone and they take you for granted, it is only when others want to be with you that they all of a sudden care...

My mind is deboggled...that's it he must have gone crazy....

I Can't Wait!!!!

He will be here on Saturday....

The most important person in the world to me...

The kid will be here at last....

Oh I know that he will drive me crazy. He will drive me up the wall...

Hey it's his job....

Ohhh I can't wait...Kid I love you....just don't stand to close to me someone will think your mine...

(he loves it when I say that)
I can't wait!!!!

Couldn'ty Have Made it Without Ya....

So, anyone who knows me knows that these past months have been really hard for me...

How have I made it out ALIVE...?

How have I not just sat in my robe all day long and like never taken a shower....?

How have I not just wasted away to nothing because I could not eat anything for days on end...?

How have I not just gone plain crazy....?

Well, My BFF...has listened to me endlessly....

We will call her" MBA girl" cause well I am sooooo proud of her...

She listened to me endlessly...She drank sake and ate sushi with me... while I talked and talked about my sorrows....

"MBA girl" has been there for me though thick and thin...yeah remember my worst date ever story...it was she that saved SAVED me.....

It was" MBA girl" that helped me pick my heart up from all it broken pieces...

It was "MBA girl" that reminded me about how much fun we had in the big D....

It was "MBA girl" that always picked me up from the airport.....

She is my BFF...She is beautiful, bright and one of the most loyal friends that I have ever had....

Hey "MBA girl" it has been a pleasure and blessing to have you in my life...I can only hope that I give you as much as you give me!!!!...and "MBA girl" I am soooo happy that we have grown so close and that we have not let the distance between us...come between us....
You mean the world to me and I believe I am a better person to have you in my life....

I am soooo proud of you...your support has meant so much...

Case in point: To all those BFF out there...thank you from the bottom of our hearts for listening and supporting us endlessly...what would we do with out you!!!!!

This Poor Guy.....

So, this morning I check my e-mail and what did I find???.....

Ohhhh I felt so bad for this guy...he was actually very nice looking and he must be sweet to stick this out....This story is too juicy for me to hold back on....so here it is folks...he met here from the internet dating site....I had a really good laugh on this....you'll feel sorry for him too.....

"Here's my funny-traumatic story. If ever in my life I need therapy, this will be why. I answered and email I received on Match from a girl who claimed to be my type. After reading her profile I decided she seemed pretty down to Earth and funny. We emailed each other a few times and decided to talk on the phone. She seemed very high energy and pretty hilarious. We decided to try a first date. I suggested dinner. She claimed she likes to make first dates unforgettable and wants to have a "pajama party" at her house. Yes red flags went up in my head but I do give people the benefit of the doubt and the suggestion did fit her personality. I however told her I wasn't comfortable going to a strangers house in my pajamas but I would dress casual and grab a movie on the way. The next day I receive and email from her detailing all of the pajamas she owns and she wants me to pick the pair she is going to wear..yes again red flag. I emailed back that I couldn't see them so I cant make that decision. So against better judgment I go through with the date. I arrive at her house and ring the doorbell. A few seconds later the door opens. There before me stands a 3' 5" midget in little kids flannel-snowmen pajamas and white high heel pumps. On top of that she had the brightest red lipstick on I have ever seen and it was not subtle as it was not only on the lips, but also kind of smeared around the mouth like she just got done drinking a gallon of strawberry Kool-Aid. So totally in shock but not wanting to make her feel bad I go in. We talk for a few minutes and I suggest we start the movie. Let me say that it's a little weird sitting next to someone who's feet don't extend past the edge of the couch cushion. So, you would think that it couldn't get worse....well it did. She goes to the kitchen and brings me back a drink, which I'm sure it looked like I needed. She claimed it was Cranberry juice and Vodka. I take a sip and decided it tasted a little strange so I set it down and we watch the movie. Towards the end of the movie she goes to the bathroom and I decide to pour the drink out because I wasn't really in the "drinking" mood. Well, sitting on the counter is the EXPIRED cranberry juice bottle. Not just a little expired either, the bottle had an expiration date of 1999. So now totally freaked out I wait until the end of the movie, which seemed to take forever, and excuse myself and go home. Needless to say I didn't pursue it past that date. She was correct, it was memorable!! Do you have any dates that bad?"

What the F@#$ Do You Do All Day.....

Here I am again writing a blog...why do you ask....

You see I have so much time on my hands since I have gotten out of school...I do not know what to do with myself…at best I am an amature writer but hey I love having a voice and I talk all the time anyway…so why not be famous in my mind in blog land…I mean I think some people read my blog and get a laugh….or are just plan grossed out (which in case I find just as good as a laugh)

So, people do not think that I will have correct grammar or that I will always spell things correctly…hey, hey hey I did that business enough in school….I mean what does having good grammar have to do with writing anyway??....you’re smart enough to figure it out I trust….

Here is how my day starts out...sleep late (hey, hey I work 12 hrs. shifts at night give me a break)...

I eat some kind of breakfast…this morning black eyed peas…ya grossed out yet?

I check my e-mail…of coarse erase all the old, unattractive, crazy men that might have e-mailed me due to my new internet dating site….

I then go straight to my blog…check other peoples blogs…I love giving my two cents…then re-read my blog…read other blogs then get a kick out of reading comments that are left on my blog or other peoples blogs…

OMG does this mean that I have no life?? Or does that mean that I have been bit by the blog bug and I can’t control myself…will I have to go to blog anonymous??

Addicted, addicted I tell you…I should know how to control myself right??

Mary Mary Quite Contrary....

While I am convinced that Mathew is secretly in love, in love with me and is just with what's her name until I get over "Mister Guy. I have decided to join the rest of the world and sign up for a well known internet dating site...(I know it is kind of cheesy...how else is a girl suppose to meet eligible men that I can chose to talk to simply by seeing a picture of them and reading their bios...and hey I will not usually be wearing my beer goggles)

Ahhh the dating scene...and let the games begin....

So, gosh I have been out of the dating scene for like a while now and still really am not ready to date...but you know it beats sitting at home each night mulling over my hurt feelings..writting blogs that are sappy instead of giving you people some dirt....something with substance...something that you probably are glad that happen to me instead of you....

So, where do I start..why oh why do all the oldest men on the dating site e-mail me??It clearly states on my profile that I would like to date someone who is not old..out of shape and not the age of my father...come onnn old men give me a break...Why just cause 1/2 of family is from Arkansas doesn't mean that I want to date a man that is like my fathers age or worse my grandfathers age...hey the rules of Arkansas do not apply to me anymore....I broke out long ago...

Okay then and why is it that the most unattractive guys e-mail me...really...I mean I am a decent looking girl...I'm fit...I have a good job even though I am still really poor right now...I mean do they think that I am blind...that I will actually read their profile even though they are really not good looking...I mean I had this one man who I swear looked like "Molegally in Lord of the Rings"(I think that is his name that creature that wanted the ring. that said,”my precious")He even had pointy ears...I was afraid...afraid I tell you....

It hasn't been all that bad...I have gone out with one guy that was actually intellegent and handsome and successful...I know...right you never get those combinations...what is wrong with him...maybe he doesn't like me...or maybe he is weird and I do not like him...I am suppose to see him again tommorrow night...I'll have to get back to you...let you know how it turns out...we did have a lot in common...he is from the country just like me...It could be fate...or I could just be crazy ...who knows...

I also have a date with a guy that seems to be very nice on the phone I talked to him like three times and I am going out with him one wensday...he called today...wanted to know where to meet...and then he said you can call inbetween the time that we meet if you want...what does that mean...Does that mean that he wants me to call him tommorrow..I mean the date is Wensday...or does that mean he wants to talk to me but does not want to call and bug me or am I just reading into it...who can figure out all these rules...I say date as much as I can...why not...I am really not ready for anything serious right now (except for you Q)...I just want to keep it light...

Oh another question I have is....when do you cross the line and have sex...I haven't been with anyone new in so long...I'm not sure I would know how to act....

Well...wish me luck and hey it would be nice..
Come onnn break a girl off something.....

OOD'DDDDD to the People that Mean so much

We were ment to live for sooo much more...we lost ourself...somewhere o-u-t-s-i-d-e...We were met to live..we were ment to live...Dooonnna...donnna..naaahhhhhnnna(sing with me people)

Okay so these might not be totally be the correct words to this song (hey I can't remember everything)but hey it sounds like the words...you get the picture people...(note:We were ment to live)*name of the song...I know it was hard for you to guess right?...okay you want a point to this blog right ....cause there is always a point...even if you do not get the point which might be the case if you read my blog....okay stay on tract...stay on track...(yes sometimes I have to talk to my self...hey at least I can admit it)

Have you ever had those people in your life that you just love soooo much...

Who listen to you endlessly...

Who love you even if...even if you throw-up on their red couch....

Who love you even if ...you tell them the same story over and over again...

Who love you even if ...they live all the way across the country....

Who love you even if...you wear gloves at work and put your fingers places that most people wouldn't go....(that was a good visionary statement hu?)

who love you even if...your not perfect and sometimes say things that may hurt them...but you did not mean to hurt them...and you say your sorry and they forgive you...

Who love you even if...you have not alway made the right decisions....

Who love you even if...occationally your feet smell (not me I'm just saying)

To Q...your the best friend a girl could ever have...thank you for being there for me...for loving me for me...for allowing me to be apart of your life...for wearing aviator glasses on the fire exit...for breaking out the Keith Sweat...for entering my life in a time when I needed you the most...for supporting me..for putting a smile on my face daily...for reasuring me that you care..for having a blog affair with me....thank you

To my sister...Ahhhh sister thank you for listening to me day in and day out...for sharing your life with me...for giving me great memories of last summer...for being a great sister to me...for forgiving me when I have wronged you...for letting me pick on you...for giving me such beautiful nieces and a cute nephew...for loving the kid as much as you do....your friendship and happiness mean the world to me...thank you...

Okay so here is the point...point in case...tell the people you love...how much they mean to you...life is soooo short...I am truely blessed...truely blessed

Just something quick..OMG I am addicted I tell you...

Whilst talking with my sister today...she reminded me of the most gettoest day ever...

So, I like went to this private christain college...yeah it was in the getto...you know where people usually use shopping carts to carry all aquired belongings...ahhh yeah

Well last summer I was like moving on campus to anther apartment..on campus and ahhh yeah...I had to do it...I moved my stuff from one apartment to the other in a shopping cart...

And that people is my most gettoest day ever....

You Opened Up the Door for Me....

I woke up this morning remembering this song that "Musician Guy" wrote about me (we were together for 5 yrs...friends now, it has been 3 1/2 years since we have been together)..

Since I am on this new kick about remembering the beautiful moments in my life I thought that I would share the the lyrics to the song (he has written many about me..making me feel ooohhh soooo special) he has a beautiful voice ( think googoo dolls) he writes and plays his own music...

" you opened the door for me and I stepped in so couriously...not knowing the extent of your beauty....your wrapped your love around me with the blankets and sheets....you showed...you showed me love"

"I was young then quick to the thought of it"......Okay this is bad cause I could remember all of the song this morning and now what I draw a blank....

It must be writters block...or I block it out...Or I am a block...

Let's see ...hummmm okay...

" will never forget...I will never let go...just caught up in the responciblities .....does place in time ever rewind...looking back I would do all over again...I was young then quick to the thought of it...does this place in time ever rewind.....looking back I would do all over again...I will never let go...I will never forget"....

well you get the idea people...I hope that I did not butcher it too much...

We would hang out for hours on the weekends and he would play his guitar and sing to me...I was so captured by his talent and beautiful voice...I have always pushed him to do his best to write and get out there and be heard....he writes amazing christain music...

One day a while back...I was sad about "Mister guy"...he called me and left me a song on my voice mail..(it was one about me)...I text him and said thank you for making me feel so special by writing music about me...he text me back and said, "Your special with or with out my songs"...ahhhhh remembering thoughs beautiful moments in my life....

The God of Wine..Comes Crashing Through the ...

Head lights of car...

What was I thinking...no seriously what was I thinking..
I drank three Martinis...okay these Martinis were not any ordinary Martinis they were like drink ing old fashion Wisky that your Grandma made out in the woods...

I think I must have thought that I needed to drink them because I ate pork last night and well...after seeing the guy with the worm in his brain(from the undercooked pork)I must have thought that I needed alcohol to make sure that I killed any floaters in my stomach...

I think it must have worked because OMG my stomach is killing me today...my head was cursing me this morning while I was in class listening to lectures on chest tubes...I got it...I got it never pull out a chest tube...never clamp a chest tube...where is the bathroom???

Sister seriously...thanks for listening to me today....I do not think I could have made it through the day without telling you my story...What was I thinking???

Remembering the Beautiful Moments in my Life...

When I was in high school I had this great boyfriend who's family was soooo wonderful to me...We spent ever free moment together...His mother was a nurse and of coarse she had a big part in my decision to become a nurse...He went off to West Point for college and we kept in touch all four years and saw each other at the holidays...soon it was time for him to to go to Germany because he had become an officer and a gentleman...

My memories of him....

He used to sing prince to me all the time (note he could not sing, and I found it hard to break it to him) He would swear he sounded just like prince....ah what we do for love...I did not have the heart to break it to him....so I listen as if he was Prince (sign at the time)...hey "Football guy" It did not matter to me that you totally did not sound like prince...I loved ya anyway!!!

He used to tell me..." If you can love the one you want, love the one your with"... he would say that jokingly of coarse but it still brings a smile to my face....Hey "Football guy"...I still only want to love the one I want...

He had three sisters and when his mom would bring the groseries home he would totally hide all the good food from his sisters and claim that if he did not do it ...then they would...hey "Football guy it was me that ate the last oatmeal pie...not your middle sister....

He loved his mother but for the life of her she could not cook...we would wake up in the morning and she would offer us breakfast....anything that we wanted...pancakes(not all the way cooked and definatly not round), eggs...(OMG they only came runny and under cooked Yuck)...you name it ...she somehow could not cook it....ahhh but we loved her anyway...Hey "Football Guy's" mother we did not eat your cooked food but we gave you an A for effort....

He was a virtous young man and could not be swede in his believe system...he came from an affluent family...however I did not... but he never treated me as if I was not good enough...Hey "Football guy" I always felt your love...

Sometime looking back at your life put things in perspective....we were young...we were in love...but it came time for us to let go...he was truly a wonderful...young man ....he had a big impact on my life...and I on him....I know truly that he turned out to be a wonderful Officer and gentleman.....Hey "Football guy" I will never forget thoughs beautiful moments in my life....

P.S. remind me to write about this...

Ahhhh yes, I know what else I was going to say today...I was going to tell you
what happen when I got my mole cut off my back...

hey listen this is a great one I know it sounds gross...but then if your reading this you are familar with my style and it will not shock you...

One time One time...I went to the Dematologist and well I had an eraser size mole on my back that plagued me in my teenage years...I wanted to get it cut off...he said,"OMG it looks terrible I bet it really bothers you when you wear a bikini"
I thought to myself I did not think it was that bad untill just right now....okay let's cut it off...I then said I ummm (cough right here) have a ummm mole in my like front private part...

He said let's see it...ahhhh oohhhhh aahhhh yeah we are going to have to cut that off too...
I said how much...no lie...I swear this is the truth...

He said," For the low low price of 75 $ we can cut off the mole on your back and we will through the other mole in for free"

What...suze me...so I paid the 75 $
go figure?

Un-break my heart say you'll love me again....

Un-break heart say you love me again...un-due this pain in my heart that you caused when you walked out the door....(AKA me singing Tony Braxton) in the shower with no clothes on...and lots of soap (okay I am again getting off the subject) Stay on tract, I repeat stay on tract I try to tell myself....

So anyone who knows me would know my plith lately...I mean two and half year is a long time so I guess it does take a long time to get over things..I am starting to feel better...I decided that I could not be friends with "Mister Guy"after all...sometimes you just have to let things go...

My new adventure...hanging out with my new friends who absolutely crack me ... .so last night I went over one of my new friends house and what happen..I became the counselor...
I loved it...what is wrong with me...I talked to her for hours about how to start to change things in her life so that she would not be treated badly....

I was having visions of Oprah...like should I leave my job and move to Hollywood..become a famous talk show host that takes over for Oprah and then I will be a millionair and then....I will have a great boyfriend that can't live with out me...and then I will ....
Wait a min....okay that is highly unlikely but you know a girl can have a dream right...anyway I want to be a singer not a talk show host...and I really can only be famous in my mind because then... I will have people stalking me and well that has happen before and I am not even famous...I didn't really like it...

So, hear is my point of this blog...because well althought it seems purposeless...there is always a point..
Point in case: No more hanging out at ex-boyfriends house...it is just still to painfull...+ hanging out with new friends that make me laugh beyond believe.+..be friends with them thought the good the bad and the ugly= getting over ex-boyfriend and = happiness

Three Martinis, and Two Beers

Three martinis and two beers..I think that is all it takes to get felt up at the bar....here I was minding my own business..talking to every one (hey I'm a friendly girl) ...and two girls came up to me we starting chatting with me...one thing led to another and and all of a sudden one of the girls had their hand down my shirt..feeling me boobs up....wow this hasn't happen to me in a long time... but hey I went with it...


go figure?

Is Wine the Answer??

Why is it that people call you and then have nothing to say...and you have to struggle...struggle to make conversation...I think that I would rather eat raw grubs...than have this happen to me..I think that I would rather eat ants....I think I would rather make out with David Hasslehoff...what a minute...no that is way to extreme...iksenxinay on the David Hasselhoff comment...nothing is almost as bad as that....

Is Wine the Answer???

Why is it that you care so much about a person only to have them...brush you off as if you never exsisted in the first place??? as if you are only a grain of sand in their ocean...that you are just a peice of dandruff under their finger nails....that you are no better than the toliet paper they wipe thier @## with....that you are not as wonderful as everyone else thinks and tell you that you are....(no I am not bitter)....

Is Wine the Answer??

Why is it that you only have to go number two when you are at work...I mean I do not know about you but I have to like light a candle and turn on mood music...I have to tell myself that it is okay and that "Every one is doing it"....I have to turn on the bathroom fan and hope and pray that no one while come home during my toliet "visit"...(okay just know that I only pee people nothing else...and if you smell anything that is ummmm"Mini"(my dogs breath)....

Is Wine the Answer??

Why is it that although I am out of high school I still still get pimples?? I mean didn't I suffer enought in high school?? Isn't there any good things that can happen to my skin as I get older?? Can't I go one month with out a break out??? I mean I know that I like to pick but only other people not my self...I get no joy out of the white head on my forehead...

Is Wine the Answer??

Why is it that my ex-boyfriend who I have not been with for like...almost 4 years has this dilution that we are going to somehow magically get back together and have like five kids...I mean I alway knew that I was not going to marry him...I alway knew that we were not ment to be together...I always knew that I was with him only because I was in a stage of my life...that I was like very dumb.....now that I am like an ER nurse he thinks that we like may have a future...he called me tonight that is why I am bringing this up...Hey "Musician Guy" little hint for ya....not going to happen...really not going to happen....

Is Wine the Answer??

The Break-up movie.....

I woke up this morning feeling sad...why do you ask?? Why is it that I can't get over him....
Why???I know that we are not good together ....I know that he does not meet my needs...it is so bad right now that I do not even what to see anyone else...why??? I have never felt that way before...I mean who doesn't like a lot of attention from Men that actually find you attractive and smart.
We went to the movies the other night...we saw the break-up movie...and it was like watching my relationship with him on screen...hey...Jennifer looked really good playing me.
I could not even enjoy the movies because it was kind of painful to watch....I have seen him problably more than I should....why why can't I let go....

What is it about him that I cling to so desperately is it the fact that he is successfull....arn't there any men out there that are successful that would be interested in me...a meer ER nurse that has a great sence of humor...that loves to pick...that except people for who they are???

Is it the fact that I just want him to tell me that he is sorry...that he cares...that I was good enough but that he just could not open up to me...because he was afraid...

I wanted to have a family with him...I really did...

When will this feeling of emptyness go away...when...thank goodness for my blog lover Q or I might never get over this...

I just want the feelings to go away...I want to make it thought the day being okay with the fact that he is seeking out other women at this time.....

arrrggggg relatioships...can't live with them can't live without them.....time to work out....maybe it will make me better...one can only hope.....

Who new it could happen???

I awoke this morning with all of my troubles hanging on my back..Fighting warning me that they will never let go....Weighing me down like the "Hunch -back of Noterdamn"(shi'et I can't spell you get the picture)....
My mind was racing off all the things I must do today...All of the things that I have to deal with...ahhhhh the pressure of it all...I mean I am a professional right???(I am not really...I do not want to grow-up....Mom, Dad...Can I move in with you?) okay that is probably not the right answer...

Calgon can you take me away?? Can I move to a land far far away where I can eat grubs...and grow my own vegetable garden and never work and wear just like a loin cloth over my #@%$%?

Maybe that is not the answer either...Cause then I might get a bot fly in the rain forest...How do you get the bot fly?? What is the bot fly you ask?? Holy Shi'et....This is a whole other blog...I will get to that but for this purpose I will tell you that the bot fly bites you and injects it egg into your skin and then and then...It's larva eats at your flesh and causes your skin to get infected and then it sticks it's little antenna out to breath...Swear to God this happens...How do I know all this gross stuff...Come on it's me we are talking about....

So, I might get the bot fly...so I guess I will have to wear more than a loin cloth if I move to a land far far away...

So what do I do escape my mind...To desperately push off the Oger living on my back..Clawing on it...Clinging with all the might it has... Suggesting that I will never win the war...The battle of my mind..

I think of my one true love Q....Who knew it could happen to me??...I mean ...He is like my cruch....it is like I am attached to him by ways of my computer..(it could happen)...I wake up and think about him...how wonderful he is...how he makes me smile inside...how he has captured my heart in the last month or so...yes people it was blog love at first site..I know I did not believe that it could happen either...but it did...I mean I read his writings and I am touched..or I need to be touched...or I have to take a cold shower...one of the three...

I woke up this morning and when I thought of him...my love.... Suddenly I felt better...it is like what I tell my patients...here are the choices... this is what we can do..and this is what you can do..Worrying does not help...it is what it is.....handle it....handle it..(okay maybe I only tell myself to handle it)

So, Q thanks for helping me get the Ogar off my back...yeah so his big toe is still clinging for dear life...but this morning I thought of you living in the city...walking and seeing everything alive...making your dreams come true in a Big city where..the common person seems so so insignificant...yet you have captured my heart...

I guess that I wont run away to a far far away land because I bet that I will not be able to take my lap top...and then I will not be able to reach out to my one true love...and he might be grossed out if I get the bot fly...nahhh I know he will still love me anyway....