These Are My Conversations..What's Wrong With Me...

Me: So wow that food I cooked was good but man my stomach is tore up...

Friend: my stomach is tore up too...I have like been in the bathroom ten times today..

Me: Really ar you okay?

Friend: Yes, I am fine but my ass feels like a bamboo butt...

Me: Really...a bamboo butt?? was it my dinner??

Friend: No it was the taco bell I ate today or maybe it was the 12 beers I had last night..

Me: Do you ahhhh have hemrroids??Do you need me to take a look at your butt??

Friend: No I do not have hemrroids and I do not need you to look at my bamboo butt hole??

Me: Why not? how do you know that you do not have hemrroids?? I might need to take a look...I mean I am a nurse...I see that sort of thing all the time...

Friend: I have had hemrroids before because one time one time I pushed to hard...and I felt them...

Me: Are you sure that you do not need me to look?? when did you have hemrriods...

Friend: No, you haven't see my bamboo butt before and your not looking at it...and I am sure that I do not have hemrroids...and I am not telling you when I had hemrroids...

Me: I'm sorry that your butt feels sore and like a bamboo butt...

Friend: thanks...I mean for caring about my sore bamboo butt...

What is sad people is that this kind of talk goes on all the time...I can't turn it off people...it never ends..I almost talked him into it thougth...I almost had him...