Shut the Fud up No You Didnnnt

So, after 4 months of not seeing Engineer Guy(even though he texted me daily through the whole mess) I told him the truth by the way...(truth of not being able to see him because of Crazy) I figured it was time to dust of the vagggg and drop the panties. Believe it or not I've always had chemistry wtih him that's why I wouldn't see him because I would give in. He has texted me daily for a year and a half so I figured I wouldn't torture him any longer...they say u get over things faster if you have sex or that was Dr.'s verbal order. I can't remember.

I felt like it was okay because I had slept with him previously. I felt weird about it especially because he knows the whole drama that paned out. I felt victory again Scored Sweet! Now if you seen this guy you would know what I'm talking about abs of steel this one I'm telling you I couldn't get my panties off fast enough. He was trying to talk with me asking me how I was and all that jazz hands. I put my finger up to my mouth and said, Shhhhhhhh no talking if you want a piece of me. That shut him up real quick. I took full advantage. Striped his close off like it was our first time. Rolling in the hay was just like old times. It felt so natural and in that moment I didn't feel like it was too soon. I sound like a sex maniac don't I? I wonder if I should join a group of sorts. Tell my story get it out there...let everyone know...I could stand up and say, Yes Darngirl has a thing for Engineer guy. Wait a minute I just did that so now you know...
Just telling it like it is.....

Attention Whore....

I might just be a attention Whore but who isn't right? I mean really it can't just be me or can it be? I was just talking to my best friend Marc (who has been really good to me in my time of need) and we where laughing about how much we have been texting daily these past couple of weeks. He's really so sweet.. poor guy has been a life line to me.. willing to talk about crazy and at all times of day. I think it is due to my chronic need for attention right now and to have him talk me off the ledge when I feel sad. I really don't know why I feel sad at times I should be mad but I'm really not ...just hated to loose the friendship if you want to know the truth about it. Anywho, He has been patient and kind in a way that it is nice to know that you have friends out there that just love you for you and all the madness that follows you like a Ogar clawing on your back with it nasty jacked up nails.
Our topic of the day: College and how I would flirt shamelessly with my professors if I had a really hard class. I'm telling you I was terrible. I used to sit in the front row and wear tight T-shirts. I particularly had these 2 professors that I had crushes on because they were 1: Dr. Sexton (I know the name in itself) My Anatomy teacher. I once held a plastic model of a heart up to my boobs and asked him as I pointed to the model "is this is the intervecular groove" Needless to say I got a B+ in both my classes...oh yeah it worked. 2: My Microbiology professor Dr. Cho. Oh how I loved his knowledge as I was separating the bacteria that I grew from my partners Belly button. I could pick his brain for hours. I even stopped eating red meat for a while although I'm not sure why it wasn't like he was a vegetarian. He would tell us stories of growing up in China and the water bacteria problems...Man I was hooked line and sinker...
Yeah I know your shock not me right never...Attention whore Please...

Bang Bang....

Like my Gun...zzzz. So, you all know that I am not seeing crazy guy anymore and it is for the best trust me...oh it hurts don't get me wrong but you can't dwell on it forever. I look at it like this I had the time I had with him; it was fun and wonderous. Bless to have it and blessed to be alive.

 When it rains it pours as fate would have it before Christmas Logistic guy got in touch with me; I haven't heard or seen him for a year. Coarse I didn't have time to see him with the holidays and then there was the crazy guy. Anywho since I broke things off with Crazy I decided to reach out to my friends (a girl can't get to far from her guys friends even though I tried to cut them off) and hang out with them...Harmless shamelss flirting but nothing to scandilous. I  went to his house all boobielicious the other day and it was like old times. He was so tired but tried to stay up as long as he could to talk with me. The thing about him is that he just rolls with the punches. We laughed I was dressed in my 80's clothes...fun times. He showed me his guns...and then no...I didn't show him mine....I took this pic just for all my peeps in blog land. So, enjoy...Next time we go to the range to shoot then guns...and no I'm not going to let him shoot me just yet anyway....Muahhh
Bang Bang

Now that life is prefect.....

Now that life is perfect and you know it always is you go and have crazy shit done to you...I mean really I know you guys that have been reading my scibbles for a while understand that I have quite the colorful life. Well, this is all alleged and stuff and I am not naming names or the agency he claimed to work for but did not ...The must just give out like candy badges and then coat them in copper or something...I was like.... why do you got to put and unknown substance in my drink or food. Dude I was a sure thing? We could have play Jeffery Daumier I could drink to much and just lay there I wouldn't have even remembered.....but no I get the crazy guyz.

Anyway, I am still alive and shit fire it would take more than a little death incident to keep me away. Plus I'm floating around to my friends soaking up their love hoping that we can sign a portion for Dan Cook to come back to me after all I love love him really.
More to come this is going to be a ride....mwauhhhh

Life Changes Sometimes Painful All Worth It...

We have all been there right? You know thoughts painful break-ups that you were sure that you would just die from. You might find you self talking over and over about it again torturing your poor friends. They listen to you over and over again till they can't take it any more and then they threaten to jump of the 40th floor of their building. Sure, you tell them you won't talk about it again; only to bring it up next week at your workout date done half-ass.  It's like you can't help yourself the roses don't smell anymore, the sun doesn't shine as bright, you don't care if you fart in front of others, to go out on dates you don't want to go on because your friends make you go (I mean they push you out the door and lock you out until midnight) and the light fun person you used to be fades away never to be seen by the light of day.

A couple of weeks ago US Marshall and I decided it was time for us to be exclusive that meant we had to cut off the people we were seeing. Dating in Dallas is not as easy as it may seem. Now, I know what your thinking... did I really cut off all the people that I have been talking to, seeing and dating for this guy? Yeap, first time in my life I ever cut off people that I knew would bother him. Surprisingly it was much easier for me than I thought it would be; however I did get some resistance.

Here is were the experience in dating men you think you love and break-up with only to find out later you might have not really loved him at all. I imagined all the torture I put myself through and my friends. I really they almost jumped to their deaths out of a 40 feet building. I would have been hauled off to jail because they prolly put it in their will. I can see it now if they jumped to their death I was the culprit behind it. It would have been torture enough to know that they died because of me; a crime of passion.

One of the guys I went out with (and I repeat) I only went out with him once. This is an important detail because he decided to text me a million times; no I strike that 20 million times in one day. I told him that I was exclusive with US Marshall guy. We had a few text messages back and forth about football and basketball games but that was it. I didn't encourage him but I did answer most of his text to be kind but not leading. Anywho, it got to the point where 1: I knew he must have drank a lot of alcohol 2: or he was on some kind of drug. Turns out he was just waisted on alcohol. I felt bad for him but I really didn't want him disrespecting my man. He of coarse apologized profusely the next day. I told him that this whole stalking situation had nothing to do with me. Come-on we all have had our moments time where we borderline crazy and put in a padded white room; things would work out for him I promised. We can't see into the future and I have no crystal ball but I knew he was not the one for me.

I told him you see we have to go through bad times and sometimes it very painful but that you get through it because it was not right for you. I lived through those times where I thought I was in love; I thought I had it all, but it turns out I didn't. You see thoughts time set you up for a man or woman that will truly love you even when your crazy drunk, even when you couldn't wait to pee so you had to pull over and you pee on a bush. He loves you when you don't wear any make-up, wear your PJs all day long; He loves you just because you are you. He's not jealous of the love I have in my heart that you have for others and he needs to see you all of the time. US Marshall knows what it is like to care for others even when they don't care about themselves and he knows what it is like to take it home with you never to be forgotten. You see thoughts years of loving the wrong guy lead me straight to him. If I had not gone through the pain then I would have never known. Now I know what love really looks like and I know what love truly feels like...and you know that funny girl that laughs at all the little things in life is starting to come back from the dead. My workouts arn't half ass anymore, the roses smell again, the light shines brighter but the best part of it all is that my heart loves again; it runs deep in my veins.

P.S. To the end of the ocean till the very last grain of sand...and there you have it!I'm back bitches!

I want you all to know...

I have been a dancing fool lately and while it is starting to shape up my body the way it used to be before I drank 3 to 4 martines a day. I am in morning of my left big toe nail. Why I asked it why would you leave me when all I am trying to do is make the rest of the body attached to you look super fit? No answer. I think my toe is mad at me for not giving it alcohol on a regular basis. What is a girl to do? I guess I will have to piss it off more by wearing a fake toe nail...when in rome right...Summer coming up and I am planning a vaca with my boyfriend US Marshall guy...What a pantie dropper...Yep clothes fall of right when I walk in the door...

Next we play stripper get's in trouble and cop lets him talk her into not taking her into jail..hand cuffs and all...
I told Dane Cook I'm off the market now your just going to have to let me go..and after 200 texts and 10 phone calls I think he knows I'm taken now. Ladies if your looking for a funny man Dane is avaliable...

Happy New year and all that Shi!#!

I would have written sooner but I went home for Christmas and New Year and I don't think I woke up sober the whole time I was there.....coarse I wasn't the only one who wasn't sober my Dad now he is the king of vodka if they had a king I mean.

I wonder if lighting can truly strike twice???? Thoughts of you that know me know that I have written extensively about my dating adventures and not to mention the date I went on when the guys car started on fire before we got out of my neighborhood.  I have been really lucky in my life to have some amazing men love me. I have told you about Dr. Goldenrod always a favorite for the ladies...man I loved him. I talked about first time I froze the first Engineer Guy's penis. I will have to tell you friends I loved him a lot it was really hard to get over him especially because it was the first penis I froze ahhhhh the memories. I talked about Logistics Guy and I has so much fun with him...I shot my first WW2 riffle with him, and he was definitely a pantie dropper kind of guy...You know big guns and all (wink wink). In the early days when I started this blog I wrote about my ONE Really Really True Love the kind of love that no matter what kind of love. I have loved before and since but nothing like this kind of change you forever kind of love that was Fire Guy. Oh how I loved him, I was in nursing school at the time. I used to go to the station and visit with all the guys while we would try and  gross each other out by telling our horror stories...ahhhhhh what a time I had with him. I remember the very first time I knew that I loved him. I thought I would marry him and I have never felt that way or since. I truly knew I loved him when we stopped at a car accident and he cut the girl's shirt off and a fake boob fell out.  He picked it up and acted like it didn't fall on the floor like it did. I remember it making that spat noise and he kept his professionalism. Did not embarrass her even though I would have died u just get used to that stuff happening and you see it all the time. He had the best bedside manor that I have ever seen. I was all in at go until 10 months later when I got a call from his wife...I know I was shocked to especially because he lived with another fire fighter and of coarse he was with me day and night. If he wasn't working I was with him and his to BFFs we were like the 4 amigos.

Well lightning has struck again so you will be hearing more from you because this fricking guy is the sh!#. We will call him US Marshall guy...I know right! He packs a 40 while he working and that's not all he packing....You u guys know me all too well.   There is more to come so stay tuned! Me lob him Long time

I couln't resist....

Charlie say goodbye to the boys....

Tuesday I am taking my precious beloved Charlie to the Vet to have his balls removed. Now I feel really badly and even more so because he loves humping his stuffed animals...he loves humping the air (what can I say he talented)...he loves trying to hump anyone's leg...of coarse my female dog humps more than he does.  So, I say farewell to my dogs boys...I think we are going to ask for them to we can have a ceremony in the back yard because my son is a little traumatized. He can fathom having Charlies balls gone forever...and I have to admit...a little of me will die that day too...as one loss for man kind...