Monday, June 09, 2014

Friday night out part due

The second half of the night...
Refer to last blog to see how I came to find myself in this Entertainment Club or others may call it affectionally the nudie bar.

While at first, I was stoked to learn that there was a free buffet...who doesn't like free food? I decided I prolly didn't want to actually eat from the buffet; crushed at the thought of letting free food pass me by, but I determined it best to forgoe the tuna wraps and crab legs. You never know what might fall off the dancers poles into the food and heaven knows there is always a chance of bacteria in form of droplets floating in the air. I figured drinking more alcohol was safe because alcohol is a disinfectant and I am sure that anything airborne would be killed instantly if it landed in my glass. I made sure that the boyfriend pored me a extra shot just to be safe...after all safety first is my motto.

Two hours in I asked the waitress, "What is delaying the band and when would they be on?". She looked at me puzzled and said, " Sugar there is no band".  Darn I've been had! All this time I thought that there was going to be this awesome metal band that apparently went all the way out to put on a spectacular show. Now it dawned on me why the girl with the hemorrhoid was not black balled from the club.

When in Rome I thought; I'm with the boyfriend and we are having a good time so nudie bar it is tonight. While sitting at our table we were approached by a guy asking us to come hang out with him and his "enforcer" friend. " Burn off" was the words I believe the boyfriend told him, but like a fly on shit he wouldn't go away. Being that I was pretty tipsy at the time I found myself intrigued by his constant efforts to get us to move to the VIP area. I mean there are all these naked women around and yet out the massive crowd he picked us to be with him.  He even went so far to impress us by telling us that he just got out of prison and that he was in the mafia. Sweet that is all he really had to say to me! I'm in.

It started to dawn on me that he wasn't really interested in talking with me but more interested in talking with my very muscular boyfriend. So, I did what any girlfriend would do....every man for himself I left the BF and went to talk to the "enforcer". Mean while, the guy kept hitting of the BF and at one point asked him if he would like to see "the beast". I was of coarse cracking up on the sidelines with the "Enforcer" who stated that his friend had not only never been to prison or been in the mafia, but they had met in college. Now, you have to know the boyfriend to know that he is a really good sport and if it had been any other guy this guy might have gotten knocked out; yet he knew the guy was drinking and apparently hadn't come out of the closet yet.  I told the enforcer after the guy tried to set up a pride fight between him and my boyfriend who out weighted him by 40lbs that I thought that his friend might have a slight problem with himself.

Point:  you know your boyfriend is hot when a guy tries to pick him up at a nudie bar!

Tuesday, June 03, 2014

Live Entertainment Friday Night Out.....

I found myself one weekend out with my Boyfriend, "Aussie" at a pub for a cold beverage of dirty martinis for me and cold beers for him as we often do. You see I knew he was up to something but I wasn't sure because he gave me that nod of and a "wink wink"  ... oh honey have one more cocktail.  So, four in he says to me, "You ready to move on to the next place it's kind of dull here ?". (there was really no one for us to play the yes -no game but I'll have to get into that  later) He also sweetened the deal by telling me that there would be "Live Entertainment"  which enticed me of coarse... Oh yeah party on... I figured I would love seeing a band ... I promptly say with just a hint of a slur, "let's blow this joint". Un-be-nonce-to- me we were right around the corner of the place; I think to myself this WOW I'm so lucky this guy always has it together and always handles business cause he's a business handler!

I think I might have saw a little bead of sweat come down his brow when he pulled up to the "Entertainment Bar", but I couldn't be too sure about that now cause I had a little liquid lube action going on. Maybe I should have seen it coming because we joke about this kind of thing all the time...or maybe the big neon sign should have slapped in the face that said, "Topless Girls: No Cover Charge and Free Buffet". Call me crazy I  hardly noticed the sign...well maybe I noticed the free buffet part.. I was just ready to see the live entertainment and maybe get my dance on as well.

Oh it was live entertainment all right...except the band apparently was fashionably late (GO Figure Right?"). While we are waiting for them SHOW UP... I wonder why are there roughly 14 small stages with poles and one large stage in the front with naked girls dancing on them? Could this be a metal band? Is that why there were naked girls as the pre-show? then I thought why are all the men standing up to the stages with dollars in their hands and their noses in the girls cooter? Is this a new pre -band trend? And why is that girl spreading her legs open while laying on the stage when I can clearly see that she has a hemorrhoids in her anus... more importantly I think a dollar is too much to pay to see that kind of thing.  I started to go tell her that they have a treatment for that kind of thing (she could probably make more than a dollar when the guys put their nose in her butt if she got it taken care of I'm just saying) and that I could recommend a Doctor. The boyfriend "Aussie" thought that it might be kind of rude to do that to her while she was performing. After much deliberation; I figured he was right and  I shouldn't take  away from her thunder.

Stay tuned for part 2

Friday, August 24, 2012

It haunts me...

It eludes me night after night. When I can do it I dream about it. It is like a ghost, follwing me daily hoping and dreaming for it. It is the orger on my back digging it long dirty nails into my skin krippling me day after day. I try and work-out so that I feel my eyes close and drift off. Sleep is what evades me.... I wish I could sleep.

Wednesday, August 08, 2012

Drunk as a Kooter on hooter...


Drunk as a Kooter or on a hooter...
Or is that my knew skatier girl name?
Okay I was out with some high school friends the other night pondering the thought of dating again when I asked," what is the worst date you been on?".
One of my friend's said, " After I passed the sobriety test I told the officer that I really didn't know her and she was to drunk to drive."
Wow, I think I'll keep the skater name for now...but I will have to date at sometime.

Saturday, June 16, 2012

You know what I love...

When I write my blogs I have everyone in mind (sexual) and some people get so offended by my blatten written blogs of sex, alcohol and well sex...penis, vagina's...and what other things that I can come up with out of my need to shock the systems. I'm not sure why it is a problem for them..It's really all in good fun. I'll tell you what I can't do...I can spell,  I have terrible grammar, I write as if I am talking directly to all of you and if your offended I say don't read my blog. I'm no noble peace writer I'm famous in my own mind and sometimes I don't pick my clothes up off the floor.

What I do do...I happen to be a very kind and loving person. I have saved many lives at my job, I infect the tissues ...I'm  like virus once your infected it's hard to get me off the mind...why is that because I happen to be one of the most loving people one could know. For those of you that know and read my blogs as trashy as I might sound (we all have reputations to upheld) I want you to know that I appreciate your being able to find the funny in them and the entertainment that I might happen to bring to you that day!
Darn girl

Wednesday, May 30, 2012

Naughty and Nice

First naughty then then I will tell you the nice...
I currently have a Marine...Well not really have him have him. I am supporting a marine again until he comes home. So, I have been writing him for about a week and I have sent him some of my funny blogs. I can't give him much otherwise but entertainment. No I'm not going to send him this pic. I wouldn't cheat on all of you like that. I mean we are in a monogamous relationship with each other and all that good bull shit. The best thing about my blog is that I have had it since 2006 and I still have people that comment from the early good yrs. Of sex, alcohol and rock and awe ya! So, en light of all of you that have stayed so long I am sending you much love and BOOBIES! Kiss Kiss
And that is all I got for ya!
That darn girl