Tuesday, August 26, 2008

For a while now...

For a while now I have been thinking about revealing my most embarrassing moment..
And now you might ask yourself why in the world would she want to do that? It is possible that I might have lost my mind, but I though what the hell why not...
But before I do I am going to need a little egging on...
So, please blogger friends tell me what your most embarrassing moment?
Okay I will give you a little hint...
It has something to do with the very first time I had sexual relations with Engineer Guy..
Ohhh how much he must really Love me...

Sunday, August 24, 2008

Dave Mathews here I come...

Sorry I haven't been by in a couple of days but Engineer guy and I had friends in from Florida and then the marathon of drinking began...
We were getting ready for the Dave Mathew's Band on Saturday!
Hey I can't help it the boys are from West Virgina need I say more...
This weekend has been a blur of tons of food and drinks...
Sorry trainer...
I couldn't work out do to my commitments to the drink and partying that I am obligated to do when the friends from Florida are in town...
Let's just say that we all kept our clothes on but ummm couldn't understand a word the boys were saying due to the commencement to trying to out drink each other....
and then there was the game of oh...sing New Edition song to me...
or Janet Jackson if your nasty...
Hey all check out my friends music...
Shanemeade.com

You won't be sorry!!!

Tuesday, August 19, 2008

I must pass on this life saving information....

Studies show that having sex 200 times a year + with the same partner, that you are connected too has health benefits....
Sweet...I tell Engineer guy this very fact and that I expect him to live up to the challenge because he is inevitably in charge of saving my life....
Apparently the ability to connect to a human being is not only good for your physical health but your mental health as well...
I guess this is why chemistry is sooo important in picking relationships....
So, all of my blogger friends go home and molest the one that you love it could just save your life....

Friday, August 15, 2008

First things first...

1: Never take 3 tabs of colon cleaner...
I mean I have not been able to leave the house all day do to my commitment to the toilet if you know what I mean... and the clincher of it all is I worked at an endoclinic yesterday...You know where they stick the camera where the sun doesn't shine...
2. Okay so you know I said I was getting a trainer...what was I thinking...after the first time with the trainer my legs were so sore I could hardly walk...being how I am not a quitter I went back Saturday...OGMOSH...
Abs...what do I need abs for? really I mean I my stomach is already trained to be sucked in at all times...
So, now My abs are sore...my arse is on the toilet ever ten minutes and the rest of my body is not feeling so hot either...
What is wrong with me? I am only doing this because society says I have to be a size Zero...
Just kidding...I happen to need a break of my old ruin and I am being a big baby...usually I am not this much of a pussy but since Engineer guy doesn't feel sorry for me I have to get sympathy somewhere...is it working??

Tuesday, August 12, 2008

Yes, I stated the night at the fire station

Okay...this could only happen to me. I found myself driving to a hospital about an 1&1/2 hours away from my house. As fate would have it they wanted me to work 2 days in a row. Now how could I say No...This was a very small town where everyone knows everyone...Don't you love that. So, i thought well if I am going to work two days I better stay the night there so I don't have to drag my arse all the way home and then all the way back. One of the nurses husband was a fireman hens I found myself spending the night at the fire station. Now what does this say about me???
Now you know what they say about the LADIES that spend the night at the fire house...Don't ya just love the gosip...Now the RN stated make sure you keep this on the down low...AHhhh yeah she was telling everyone that I stayed at the fire house. How can you keep a secret in a town that has one high school...It never fails I am always trouble...trouble is my middle name. Hey I slept in the back room by myself.....with all the fire gear on is that wrong???

Tuesday, August 05, 2008

Dr. Oz on Oprah...

So I was watching Oprah, Dr. Oz stated that if you drink red wine that it turns on an anit-aging process. Well, let me tell you that is all I needed...
I am going to be young forever cause I believe in drinking the wine...
He also stated that Liver cod oil was good for you..
I am having a hard time with this only because when I was a young girl my Ma decided to lie to us and say that she was making fried chicken when really it was Liver in a battered surprise. Didn't she know that I was going to be a medical detective and I could never fall for that trick...
Ma I say just drink some wine, cause I can't take the liver cod oil....

Monday, August 04, 2008

Let's get a new mamma....

So, I have been watching one of thoughts shows that change "the mommy" for a week and then get 50.000 dollars...
I say to Engineer guy...Let's audition for the show so that we can get a new mommy for the week..
Coarse I didn't know who we would send to be the new mommy for the other people. Could we send the kid to be the new mommy? He is kind of spoiled and we never make him cook...So, I am not sure that will be a good idea. We can't send my mother because I'm not sure she that she can handle other people's children. She can hardly handle my sister's children and that is after she is pre-medicated. We can't send Engineer guy because he refuses to be the mommy for other people.
I ask him maybe we can send your mother what do you think? He says he doesn't think that she will go for it. So, I guess that we will not be auditioning for the show..Me I am not grown up enough to be on tv and be a mommy to other people's children...

Sunday, August 03, 2008

Did I mention that...

Did I mention that I have a growth growing on the side of my neck...
It's not an abcess, but a pesky little pimple that never seems to go away..
I squished it this morning only to have little success of getting anything out of it and it is red and swollen...
Imagine that...I have used every pimple remover on the market but nothing seems to help...
I am left to only pretend that I do not see it in hopes that it will see that it no longer bothers me and goes away...

Did I mention that I have decided to get a personal trainer...
I hate working out, but know that it is something that I have to do because I am aware that gravity will take it's toll on my butt and promptly help it drag the ground. Plus what would Oprah think if if she ever met me and my butt was draggin the ground...and there is my reputation to think about... I am hoping that the trainer is really good looking so that I have something to look forward too when I work out...

Did I mention that my Uncle has dragon shoes that he wears when he does out..My Aunt calls it that because every time he goes out his friends drag him back into the house...

Saturday, August 02, 2008

Is that so wrong??

I have often told my patients, I know this whole getting old thing is pretty unfair...
There's no instructions on how to get old...
But I say that when I get old I am going to have big blue or purplish-pink hair, wear blue eyeshadow with long fake eyelashes and pink pink lipstick...I am going to feel-up all young guys butts and then claim that I am old and I don't know what I am doing...maybe I'll even have a grandchild around to back-up my story...
Is that so wrong?