Thursday, November 26, 2009

Happy Thanksgiving....

I wanted to write what I am thankful for but I am too busy eating all the food I can today! So, I think I will have to get to that later...The thankful part! Until then I will be eating all day...and working out the rest of the week!

Tuesday, November 24, 2009

Queen for a day...

I often go though phases that include crushes of sorts...

Like the time I was sure that Dane Cook was in love with me...I was sure that he was directly talking to me at his concert...I wrote "I love Dane" on my boobs! We decided to take it a bit slower until I actually meet him in person!

Then there was the time that Rich Franklin (UFC fighter) Wanted to marry me...but after he lost his last fight I started to think his fighting days were over and well...I had a hard time with the loss and even thought I still love him...I tell him it is me not him or unless he starts winning again! Hey you know my motto you can't come home unless you win! that goes for my Kiddo too!

Then there is the total relationship with Heff's wife Donna...Oh yeah she's such a Hottie. In Heff's dreams we always hook up on the holidays...cause that is how I roll!

Frequently, I have intimate relationships with some of my blogger friends! They don't really know about it because it usually happens when I am drunkin state of wine bliss and then I forget about it... And since I always follow the Catholic girl code...if I don't remember it didn't happen! That there excuses me from the whole slutty image I might be attaining out there in blog land.

And then there is the fact...Everyone knows that I have a pantie dropper problem and that also goes for the 3 million pair of shoes I have accumulated over the years...and there is that obsession with my boobs, but I don't really see that as a problem.

So, I thought it would be better to focus on some new traditions here on Just telling it...
I have asked my new girl crush to write something special for my blog...I like her for many reasons, but due to the Catholic girl code I am unable to tell you...The most important reason I like here is because I am obsessed with red-hair! and then again it might be for her very cheerily written posts or not!!

So, Ubermouth I crown you with this award...
Queen for the day!!!

Darn girl

Friday, November 20, 2009

It's Friday....

Logistics guy always accuses me of being a Lesbian because I can appreciate a nice pair of boobs...
I'm not a Lesbian (not that there is anything wrong with it) I just happen to have several girl friends that I am close too. What's wrong with that?

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

The 200 a year rule.....

When, I first started having sexual chocolate relations (that's so sterile isn't it)with Logistics guy I gave him a ball examination. He gladly let me palpate his testicles and even coughed for me. I guess he's a team player and you know how much I like team playas!

Which leads me to wonder what is wrong with him?... to be having relations with a woman that insist on checking his balls monthly. We are talking about someone who is special, who listens to my stories over and over and never complains about them, a person who understands my obsession over my own and other woman's boobs, a man that will talk with me about old balls as if it were the normal dinner conversation...a man that loves guns and loves to share history...He talks with me until I pass out from the champagne we drank that night...A man that hangs in there and arises to the occasion with a refractory rate that would challenge most 20 yrs. olds.

I had to

1. see if he had more than a handful of balls
2. I had to make sure there were no bumps and lump that might need to be ultrasound
3. I just liked making him cough and cupping his balls...
4. I like the way his balls feel...

You be happy to know that his balls were not more than a handful...and there was nothing worth sending him to the Dr. for! Sweet score..

So last Thursday (panite dropper day) I told him that there is actually research out there that proves that when men and women have sex with the same partner at least 200 times a year that it helps them live longer. Now me being a nurse and all I like to follow thought with proven research tactics...

Even thought I wear him out...he always arises to the occasion...instead of 3 times on Thursday we might have pick another day of the week to get-in the 4 times a week to satisfy the 200 yr. rule. This all in the name of science..

Darn girl

Monday, November 16, 2009

Sunday, November 15, 2009

My BFF and other stuff...

My partner in crime (my old roommate that is newly single) girlfriend and I when out last Saturday night...Our theme was smooth criminal...our cab driver almost killed us with MJ playing in the background but after he ran several red lights and took us back to the future by five mins. we arrived to our Hon-key-tonk bar extravagance...boot skooting it we were! I know what you do for your friends!! I had to take one for the team!! cause I'm a Team Playa..
While sitting at the Bar we talked about all the shenanigans that we have been involved in over the years!! In order to not criminate myself I plea the 5th. ...let just say that we always have fun when we go out.
One case comes into mind...let's just say it was my birthday...and let's just say that there was an incident of car fire on my dates part and the same date had a fake testicle... Not by my own examination...but by him telling me....Ouch...I was totally out...
Thank goodness I still have my partner in crime!!
Eight years of friendship and trial by fire..Yeap love that girl!!!

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Lone Survivor...Happy Venteran's Day Father and all....

The Nurses Memorial for Vietnam...for ever we will be connected!!
Happy Veteran's Day to Marcus Luttrell...Seal Team 10. He is the only one to survive Operation Redwing. New York best seller...It is worth the read!~!! I'm thinking where in Texas Marcus?...cause I went to high school in East Texas!! Maybe he will find me and then we can talk about that Business that he claims to be a Dr. to the People that save his live I can't blame him he meant no harm!!! (I'm totally a Dr. in my mind too so I totally understand) We have a lot in common!!! My father was a Marine in Nam and yes that is special...we come from greatness what can I say...I'm proud to be an American where at least I know I'm Free! I am sending a shout out to my girl SPC Joy Hoyle...My girl that I am supporting till she comes home!!She's but 2o yrs old but kind as they come...and I am blessed to have such a kind wonderfully talented girl in my life!!! I tell her find your heart and run with it...never give your power away For you can do anything you put your mind too!!!
Darn girl

Saturday, November 07, 2009

Oh Dr. Goldenrod....

I need not say more....If you ever wanted to know what Dr. Goldenrod looked like he looked like this..and this is why I was always pulling him in to the clean utility room in the hospital. So, New bloggers Dr. Goldenrod is the hot 6' 7 ft ER Dr. that showed me all the ropes when I started as a Nurse extern later to go on to work full time in the ER as a Nurse...We were BFF back in those days about 4 1/2 years ago and we are still friends today just from a far... Ohmygosh so we would work all night together at the hosptial and then he would come over to my house straight after work...We'd open a bottle of wine and discuss the nights crazy sh@! that happen...He would give me the Dr. version and I was all in (I like big words and he was an awsome DR. Looked like superman and saved so many lives that of coarse your panties have to fly off)...Then he'd say how beautiful he thought I was and then would ask me if he could rub my back...Do you even have to ask?...shirt off and he was so sweet...holding me in his strong arms..kissing me softly...thoughs days were magical and he always told me how much he loved me...but I never told him how much I loved him...last year he came to my house in December...and I finally told him how much he meant to me and how I will always love him...from a far. That's Right Dr. Goldenrod I will always love you my BFF. One of the Best Men I have ever known...

Thursday, November 05, 2009

Official Day....

You all know what today is!!! It is officially Pantie dropper day!!! and I off to see Logistic guy!Score!

Monday, November 02, 2009

And now do justice to my award.....

For some unknown reason I have been chosen for the "You are a great read award" by the lovely talented Kimberly (Got blog) perpetuating my half of brain idea that I am famous in my understand it is hard to having half of a head. Just so you know that I am soooo shy when it comes to my daily sexual chocolate life but I am honored to receive this award so I am obligated to tell you the 10 things I do...on Thursday cause that is the day I see Logistic guy...I'm not a sex-addict I swear I swear....I only see him once a week and that is just plenty for me.

1.I am notorious for waking up at 4 or 5 in the morning to know that long pee that never ever seems to end. I wipe front to back cause that is what your suppose to do and then I wash my hands and sing the happy birthday song so I know that I have washed for the appropriate amount of time. (I'm a little neurotic when it comes to bacteria its all my mothers fault)

2. I'm naked that is part of the rules because this is not a democracy and I like to sleep naked against Logistic guy and he doesn't have a choice. I look in the mirror sucking in my abs so they are trained to appear flat. Oh they know don't you even think about turning against me .... because because my abs know that I will put them through a hell of a workout by way of only giving them a liquid diet. One can't ever be to strict with their body or it might turn against you.

3. Next, (at 5 in the morning) I brush my teeth making sure that I scrub them well after last nights blowing fest. I mean I am not apposed to giving in every now and then with a little dabble in the peni area if you know what I mean. Well that is how it starts....then there's the full on action but I am not about giving play by play because you all know that I am shy...sexual chocolate happens at least 2 times before we attire to sleep. There also might be a bottle of wine involved in all this action.

4. I swear I am not a sex addict I mean really isn't the average sexual encounter happen about 3 times a week...I am just making up time since I only see him once a week. I have way to many things to do the other days of the week. I have to write my blog, then I have to visit all my favorite blogs and comment. I mean where would I be with out my fellow bloggers who entertain me to the fullest. I would name names but they have had stalkers and I wouldn't want to put them in harms way! But I do look forward to their utterly talent and cleverness. It makes my day.

5. Back to 5 in the morning I take 800 mg of advil (4 pills) because I have a hip problem (because I am an athlete) it's call bursitis (inflammation of the join) and Ubermouth I just want to know how you knew of my highly classified condition. Five shots of cortisone in the left hip joint and I am still on the advil.

6. I then get back in the bed and rub my nakedness against Logistic guy. Now he is not a morning lover-upper kind of guy but I am determined to turn him into one. I start by putting my boobs in his face and that usually perks him up. What can I say I strive to be better than average.

7. Then I pass out again for about an hour or two. I've never been an early riser but since I started working days as an emergency room Nurse dang it if I don't wake up every mooring at the crack of dawn...I mean I wake up before the roosters crow for goodness sakes...and that is a whole other animal. I'll spare you the details of where my finger have been think... KY jelly it's good for all kinds of things besides the attended normal usage. Not to mention all the balls I have had to cup but that was just for fun....

8. I shower with Logistics washing his chiseled chest and big muscular arms...He washes my back and I give him a little body to body scrub. Wash the car style. He has special peppermint shampoo that tingles my scalp and I feel invigorated. All this good stuff in just a tipical Thursday morning and man I bushed. I feel like I worked 12 hrs. at the hospital well not quite I never stick my fingers where they shouldn't be with Logistic guy.

9. He makes me tea with cream and suga and cooks me breakfast...heck I'm starving after all the action. Its always the same eggs, cheese and jalapenos...Ummmm breakfast in bed!

10. I leave and he goes to work. I head home because after all I have a lot of TV catching up to do. There is the FBI files and Medical detective shows that I have to watch because I am the FBI and this is part of my research. I know I shouldn't have told you but I know that I can trust you to keep my secrete safe Code name Maverick. And sometime during the day I might find myself doing my college homework (a bore) and I might find myself eating something like a carrot and then I might find myself reading all my wonderful blogger BFFs blogs and then maybe just maybe writing one myself.

And that my dear friends in just a tipical Thursday day in the life of Darn Girl. Oh the other days are much less exciting doing homework, talking on the phone endlessly, working out and of coarse watching the FBI files or Cold case on the boob tube. And now it is time to pass the torch and give the honor to someone else.

Tag your it:

HEFF'S BAR & GRILL I love this guy and Donna his boobalishious wife

Opinions & Rectums,We All Got One Buffalo I love to hear your family stories

Lost Here and Beyond My blog lover

Wil always is a great read
Volume 22 Cracks me up with his tooth paste that has formaldehyde in it

Man With A Past A man that seeks goodness

The Ballad of Shelly Rayedeane Kindness beseeches her

And there you have it! I want all the dirt people!!!Mwahhhhhh

Sunday, November 01, 2009


Until I write my supper dupper award here is a pic!!! I got an award I'm special I am truly truly famous in my mind....

I can't believe it!!! I was chosen......

Omgosh I have been chosen....I can't believe it!!!! I have been soooo busy with Halloween that I haven't had time to give you my 10 things but I promise tomorrow I will get on it. I feel so blessed! Thank you Kimberly!!! Your the best of the best!! until then I will post my naughty costume! Enjoy!