Monday, July 23, 2007

Happy Anniversary to Me

July 19 commiserated my first year as officially being a RN. To celebrate this very special and significant date I enlisted my partner in crime and fantabulous beautiful girlfriend V. V and I are notorious for hanging out on the weekends, drinking wine and skinny dipping. We are also notorious for complimenting each other, I tell her how fabulously wonderful I think she is, she tells me how fabulous she thinks I am, followed by how proud I am of her for attaining her dreams and being very successful in life and in her career, followed by her telling me how proud she is of me and then we end up telling each other how much we love each other...I'm telling you it is all about the love with us. Of coarse, Engineer guy rolls his eyes and smiles at how much we build each other up. Secretly he is so happy inside because mixing friends can kind of be tricky at times...

The great thing is I met V because of Engineer Guy. V is married to Engineer Guy's best friend Manager Guy so we all hang out together and we get the best of both worlds...the boys and of coarse us!!

Our day started like this: V booked us both Swedish massages at an upscale salon.
We then went to lunch...Susi, Champagne...more champagne and a dip in the pool.
As you all know once we start celebrating with more champagne, chocolate strawberries...a skinny dip in the pool...laughter and more laughter talking about our childhoods, parents...we even called my dad...(yes, father I am still a virgin). It was a day of pampering, fun in the sun and more fun!! Needless to say my phone did not survive the pool, but it was all worth it!!

I left her house early this morning with a slight hangover, but a big smile on my face. Thanks V for making my day so special.

Engineer guy couldn't not have been possibly sweeter..
He cooked for us all week, followed with dinner out and beautiful yellow orange tipped roses to top off my anniversary!!

Thanks guys you sure do know how to make a girl feel special!!!

Saturday, July 21, 2007

My Hare is Fried Now What??

I left the beauty salon today after 12 hrs..okay maybe it was like only 4 hours but it felt almost like a job..
Since the begining of time I have fought with my hair, and it usually wins. It has been my nemisis. In my early 20's I started getting my hair highlighted. Highlights can be like a Drug. The very first time you get it highlighted it looks fabulous your thinking that you look like a movie star. The next time you get it highlighted it never looks the same, but you keep trying and trying to get that first high... it never happens.
I have known my hair stylist for more than a year. We are infact really good friends. Hair girl has been trying to dye my do for over a year pleading her case with my hair. My hair finally gave in about 4 months ago. My hair made her sign a contract stating that she will not fry my do or else she has to sell her first born child. The first two times she did my hair I was amazed... feeling that no one could tame my do, but she did. Today I went to the salon with high hopes that she would perform the same magic as she has previously managed, but No. Let's just say I walked out with part of my hair black...(I never had black hair) part of my hair is orange, part is white, and part of it is fried off...let's just say today was not a really good hair day...and my hair is giving me the silent treatment...

Monday, July 16, 2007

Cowboy it up....

They brought him in the room with with Lower right quadrant pain.

This is my very first time working at this particular hospital, and there for a while I was wondering if I really just walked into the State Penitentiary. I have never seen so many prisioners in orange jump suits, and handcuffs with police, and prision guards at the bedsides.

I thought boy this is going to be some rodeo, and let me tell ya it was.

So, let me tell you about my almost sexual experience with a prisioner that has been in the pen for that last 10 yrs. There he was handcuffed. (how I like to play sometimes) in an orange jump suit (not part of my usual fantacy, but hey I can bend a little) or a lot if needed.. He was very handsome, 27 yrs. old, big blue eyes, 6'0 about 170 lbs. all muscle, and tatoos from head to toe. I could sence the danger as I put on my gloves, now you know what I was thinking...Ohhh I am just so bad...I tell him for lower right quadrant pain he is going to have to strip, but no worries I will help him. I tell him I will let the guards take off his handcuffs for a minute if he promises to behave, he nods his head in agreement. I closes the curtain, they take off his handcuffs and he is true to his word...I was a little disappointed at first I thought for sure that he was going to grab me and at least feel me up, but he had a kind spirit...So, I started talking with him doing my usual assessment of feeling up his chest, and bicepts, I asked him where the pain was and he pointed to his LRQ, I suspected appendicitist...probably why he did not grab me I reasoned. I started his IV, took labs, and then I begain to ask him his story. Why are you in?...He was 16 aggrivated assult, been in 10 yrs...Awe...he told me of how he grew up on the wrong side of the tracks..used heroin in the pen. He said, "I have been watching you" Really...I started to feel flushed...this was just like my fantacy, Yes. He said, "you really care unlike the other nurses, you have been kind to me even thought I am in handcuffs"...I am thinking really its okay...I really did feel kind of bad for him since he was so cute and had been in since he was just a boy...Then he asked me for my address...Oh sh@# sexuall fantacy over with...Sorry handsome, tatooed ex-herion user prisioner...I would like to keep on living there is no way I am going to give you my address so you can come kill me later...although that does kinda sound like one of my other fantacy's minus the herion use.

Wednesday, July 11, 2007


I was at a party on Saturday getting my drink on...and one of the Ladies started talking about her husband...

Lady: My husband and I love each other so much..

Me: Awe that is sweet, how long you'all been together?

Lady: 10 years...we were partying with this couple several weeks ago, we had so much fun..oh we have our problems but he always treats me so good.

Me: Yeah don't we all have problems every now and then..but at least you guys have good communication.

Lady: Yeah...we do. Last week he told me that he thought his prostate was acting up again...Nope turns out he gave us gonarrhea..

Me: Wow, he must really love you a lot! WTF?

Friday, July 06, 2007

Jenny and Me are practically twins hu?

I didn’t think I could top that last picture so I thought I would post a pick of myself in all my lushness glory. Oh I tried to photo shop this picture. No luck I still look like I have been drinking... Maybe the drink in my hand gives you a slight hint I have been drinking (darn caught in the act) and I'm a little glazed over, shiny and well let's face it everyone knows I am a lush...It could be worse...I could got to eBay looking for make-up in the health and beauty section...only to find a Something-about -something-re-foreskin-something-or other restorer gadget. It was a contraptional devise that I never knew existed. Again I can't get away from the peni stories I guess I am on a role. Squeeze me...I thought men were all for no foreskin...turns out I guess some Men want it back...How weird is that?..stay posted I will be posting a picture it's just so wrong not too...

Wednesday, July 04, 2007

This is the kind of sh@# my sister sends me...

Seriously, something is wrong with my family. My sister sent this pic to me this morning and wished me a happy 4th...and you wonder what is wrong with me?

Speaking of peni, you know I can't help myself it is the nature of the beast. Since my life is like a trashy romance novel my family, boyfriend and friends know that everything that happens in our lives is subject to be written down in a blog for the sake of that it can be recorded in time...

So, yesterday I send Engineer guy a text. I'm thinking that I am being clever, mixing it up some...being somewhat exciting. I text, "hey sexy how about a meeting at your house tonight with my clothes off". He calls me when leaving work.. Engineer guy " Darn girl are you sending me naughty texts while I am work, I kind of didn't understand what you ment"...WTF? Call me crazy...but I thought I was beeing perfectly clear...
Ummm...Engineer guy let me just say it bluntly (ohhh so takes the funn out of it doesn't it). On your way home from the bar call me and then I am going to sneak into the house and take advantage of you...get it. Engineer guy, " Ohhh yeah I get it" Sheesh what does a girl got to do around here to get some action????

Tuesday, July 03, 2007

Happy 4th of July all...

Happy 4th of July...
I am celebrating this glorious occasion just like every other born and bread american girl would...with lots of beer, BBQ and fire works! Let the celebration begin....and let there be plenty of beer.
It has been brought to my attention that half the year is gone already...sheesh what a happy thought right?...what have I accomplished over these past months...

1. One of the most memorial moments of the past year was when I froze my boyfriends penis. Ahhhh the happy moments in my life.

2. I quit my low paying job, where I was over worked and under appreciated to working all over the valley in ERs...and making a lot more.

3. I unsuccessfully fought with my boyfriend over e-mail several times, but have figured out a way to finally open up and talk with him like a normal adult, well most of the time anyway.

4. In January We said our first I love yous after roughly six months of dating...

5. I managed to get hit from behind by a scooby doo van that pleeled out and ran back end is still jacked and there is no sign that I will be fixing it anytime soon.

6. I have come to grips that I am directionally challenged, and I am thankful that Engineer guy is always willing to give me directions that I can understand.

7. I went to florida with my boyfriend it was our first get away and ohhh so much fun!!: I thought I would re-post this cause I thought it was kinda cut enjoy all.

Tuesday, February 13, 2007

Country Girl Code

The Code:
Code name Maverick (we will get into that later) Just imagine the song "Take my breath away" playing ever so delicately... distant in backround (the fan blowing my hair just so) and me writing this in my cowboy boots and nothing else.


Rule #1. Drink Beer

Rule#2. Drink a lot of Beer

Rule #3. Find a country boy from West Virgina and Drink Beer

Rule #4. Fly to Florida to See your Man's home boy play Live, be astonished at talent of the Band and Drink a shit loads of beer.

Golden Rule: (you guys really got to check this shit out)

Rule #5. Become a West Virgina fan by default (your man 's from there you have no choice)
OMG did he say I didn' t have a choice...I love it when he says that the more beer I drink...

Rule #6. Get pneumonia before flying to Flordia to see your man's home boy play live and still drink a ton of beer and party till like 4:00 am...

Rule # 7: Go through alcohol withdrawl the day you fly back to the desert and decide yep you definately need another beer...

Yep it has definatley been a great half of year!!!

Monday, July 02, 2007


I am still suffering from writters block I write something and then erase it. OMGosh I wonder if picked up something from the hospital that was some kind of unknown bacteria or protozoa and it is starting to eat away at my brain. I scanned my medical dictonary but did not find anything to explain the writters block. Heck I could not even amuse myself by looking at all the gross pictures..that usually reminds me of something funny and then I get inspirted...Nope nothing. I have so many inappropriate subjects to offer up in a cleverly written story, but nahhhh I got nothing. Please for gosh sakes someone help me...I mean I have no new penis stories to talk about or abcess testicals to report about...I have no new anal leakage stories. I haven't been skinny dipping in a while...I guess I have just really been bored lately. While I usually have an interesting story to tell about work...I really haven't been in a couple of boyfriend is sweet as always and no one wants to hear about how great he is all the time...I worked out yesterday...the kid and I cooked out...watched movies and went to bed. Bored..Not that he is boring he is great...someone send me something so I don't die of bordom..die dead!