Wednesday, March 21, 2007
Tuesday, March 20, 2007
Sunday, March 18, 2007
Just tell me is it wrong to go out with a guy again even though he has a "Star Wars" room? No really seriously my girlfriend said she went on several dates with a guy who was 28yrs old and had a Star Wars room. His room was completely packed full of star wars action figures and life size cut outs. She told me that she was adamant about not-dressing up as Princess Laya. WTF? May the force be with him.
That sh#@ plagues my mind.
I decided that after all the alcohol that I consumed this I should at least go out and try to work off some of the extra calories. Let's just say that this morning I could hardly get out of the bed. You see sometimes I for get that I am old and I shouldn't just run sprints and tumble like I did when I was in high school. Apparently, I haven't used most of my muscles in a while and my body is turning against me.
The sh#@ that plagues my mind.
I have recently been contemplating many new changes, moving on and figuring things out. I am leaving my job. I will still be an ER nurse but I will just be going to different hospital around the valley. I figure how hard it can be going to a new hospital every day, never knowing when you’re going to work and following different directions daily. Really can I just say that I am directionally challenged? I get lost all the time. Hey, I am new to the valley I have only been living here for 4 years. Change can be hard, but I felt the need to try something new and possibly gain more experience. Hopefully the agency will understand that I get lost more than I get found.
Oh the sh#@ that plagues my mind.
Saturday, March 17, 2007
Monday, March 12, 2007
While buying this book I kind of felt guilty, you know in that "Catholic girl" kind of way; the way that you hear your Mother telling you that "good girls" do not mention or talk about sex ever. Shamefully, I paid for the book and took it to the gym to read as I worked out. On my way, I had to say three Hale Marys' just for buying the book.
When I got home from the gym I decided to put on my saddle shoes, white shirt and pleated skirt. I bought the whole get-up for my boyfriend last week, but that is a whole different story. I thought when in Rome right? I lay across my bed and as I read-on I had a flood of memories come back to me. I remember all thoughts school days talking to my girlfriends in the hallways and at lunch about the "deed" ohhh how we where so completely wrong... Remember when you thought you could get pregnant from going to 2nd base? Or remember all the prayers you had to recite for thinking or talking about being a bad girl? Or my personal favorite, "you can't get pregnant if the guy pulls out."
My mother never gave my sister and me a clue about getting our periods'. No, No I had to learn about the "Monthly Visit" from every young girl’s bible, "Are You There God it's Me Margret”. Then of coarse there was sex education in 9th grade. We used Bananas to practice putting on condoms, imagine my disappointment years later when I would actually see a penis.
I am sure sure that every Catholic girl's mother must have told them that "If you get pregnant it will be the end of your life". The extent of my Mother's sex talk consisted of “If you get pregnant I will throw you out of the house and disown you". What can I say she was great at communicating and just knew knew how to make you feel so special and loved.
And these are the days of my life....
Tuesday, March 06, 2007
Recently my girlfriend has ventured out into the single world. I wish I could say that I was envious of this endeavor; however I am so blissfully happy in couple Dom that the endless amount of different hook-ups, different sized peni and random dry humping (apparently one have an orgasm this way) doesn't appeal in any way, shape, size (tehee) or form.
It is a good thing, however that I can help point my girlfriend in the right direction because because I always can talk about feelings with this friend. I sometimes tell myself that I am a relationship expert. I do, I know only for other people of coarse because we all know that when it comes to my relationship I can only fight via e-mail and I can never never let my boyfriend know how I feel. I'm sure if I told him how I really felt it might kill kill kill me dead; I might die. I expect him to read my mind instead. What? What's wrong with that? He is really starting to get the hang of it; good job "Engineer guy". I might be kind of delusional when I think about being a relationship expert, but work with me people. I am a trained professional (I laugh professional) ohhh if only they knew.
Any who, back to my girlfriend. I have to say fellow bloggers this is pretty painful to report, but my friends, family and poor boyfriend know that they are subject to being blogged about at anytime or situation; it is part of my charm. I keep telling my boyfriend he is famous in blog land and I am sure that he is almost falling for it. (well after that last blog and all) Score!
My Girlfriend has been texting me, calling me, reporting to me every EVERY detail of her now infamous 2-day relationship with the new guy. What can I say it has been a week of scandal?
Girlfriend: After our last make-out session you all know, where ummmm he gave me an A+ for my wax job. He has not called me. Do you think after 2 dates I went a little too far? Is this that double standard thing again?
Me: Well, you did have an orgasm dry humping; I wouldn't call it a total failure just yet. Isn't there like a 2-day rule when he is not suppose to call?
Girlfriend: I hate that rule. I am really just used to them stalking my every move and spending every free moment trying to spend time with me. You know hundreds of texts, frequent calls and many e-mail.
Me: This makes my brain hurt. So, really that didn’t work for you in the past. Why not? You know come up for air every-now-and-then. Step out of the box...see your friends...Me Me Me
I get the dreaded call yesterday...this part kills me.
Girlfriend says: I know why he didn't call back. He sent me an e-mail.
Me: Oh no not the death my e-mail?
Girlfriend: Yes, he says that I had really bad breath both times he made out with me for like 8 hrs, he suggested that I floss more.
Me: No way...well let's just say it didn't stop him from getting fresh with you. tehee fresh...
Girlfriend: Yeah I made an appointment with the dentist. I am soo embarrassed.
Me: "thinking" (okay this is a really bad excuse. He just wasn't into her and worse he was mean about it). What could I say?...for once I was a loss for words. I said, well your beautiful I never have smelled bad breath on you (this girl really takes care of herself I had a hard time believing this). Of coarse I never made out with her, but still I thought this was kind of cruel. I said, keep me informed I am here for you.
Girlfriend: I'm okay I'm not sure if I want to see him again, I really liked him.
Me: Scquez me? Are you kidding me? What is wrong with her? Painful...just painful.
So, I did what any girl in my position would do I called boyfriend and ask him if I have bad breath?
Engineer guy says: "Honey your breath is always horrible, but the sex is too good not to call you."
This from a man that loves me for my scallops. Yep, he definitely loves me.... its sooo obvious.
Sunday, March 04, 2007
2. Apparently one can have an orgasm just dry humping. My girlfriend called me this week to give me this news...who knew?
3. Apparently one can dry hump most of the night away and never even come close to knowing what size the guys peni is? My girlsfriend and I talked about this very subject for I donno 5 hrs staight. My boyfriend was out of town this week I had to entertain my self some how. Don't worry sweatheart...we had to discuss your peni too. What can I say it is the rules...Don't worry honey I told the truth....Swing..
4. You cannot stop me, you cannot destroy me for I am the cockroach of love.