Monday, March 12, 2007

Oops I Did it Again...

In my never-dieing quest to educate my self, to to sound completely like I know what I am talking about even though I usually don't; I came across a book " The Catholic Girl's Guide to Sex". It never hurts to educate ones self on many topic, and I thought I might learn a little something new...

While buying this book I kind of felt guilty, you know in that "Catholic girl" kind of way; the way that you hear your Mother telling you that "good girls" do not mention or talk about sex ever. Shamefully, I paid for the book and took it to the gym to read as I worked out. On my way, I had to say three Hale Marys' just for buying the book.

When I got home from the gym I decided to put on my saddle shoes, white shirt and pleated skirt. I bought the whole get-up for my boyfriend last week, but that is a whole different story. I thought when in Rome right? I lay across my bed and as I read-on I had a flood of memories come back to me. I remember all thoughts school days talking to my girlfriends in the hallways and at lunch about the "deed" ohhh how we where so completely wrong... Remember when you thought you could get pregnant from going to 2nd base? Or remember all the prayers you had to recite for thinking or talking about being a bad girl? Or my personal favorite, "you can't get pregnant if the guy pulls out."

My mother never gave my sister and me a clue about getting our periods'. No, No I had to learn about the "Monthly Visit" from every young girl’s bible, "Are You There God it's Me Margret”. Then of coarse there was sex education in 9th grade. We used Bananas to practice putting on condoms, imagine my disappointment years later when I would actually see a penis.

I am sure sure that every Catholic girl's mother must have told them that "If you get pregnant it will be the end of your life". The extent of my Mother's sex talk consisted of “If you get pregnant I will throw you out of the house and disown you". What can I say she was great at communicating and just knew knew how to make you feel so special and loved.

And these are the days of my life....

16 comments:

Jayme said...

I'm sorry you chose to get involved in this. I certainly didn't want to be fighting on blogs with someone who has spied on me, and altered my emails, as well as slept with my husband.

Your choice, I hope you can live with it.

Just telling it like it is said...

**Jayme**: For the last time okay, I have been nice, even somewhat tolerable to your craziness and absurd accusations. For the last time lady, I do not know you, or your husband, and guess what I have a life so I would never ever spy or stalk someone. I think you should really seek out medical help sounds like you are delusional due to that fact that you have accused other random people of this very thing. Now I have to laugh at this ridiculous comment. I have an awesome boyfriend who has never been married. He and I have a wonderful trusting relationship. I am a virtuous woman that would never ever have an affair with a married man. Now take a hike lady because this is the last time I will acknowledge your absurd comments.

Fellow bloggers can you believe this?? Made me giggle.

Just telling it like it is said...

P.s. Everyone, since we are having somewhat of a Jerry Springer moment this crazy lady has accused other bloggers of having an affair as well...

mist1 said...

By the time I was born, my Catholic mother had shed her habit and become a Planned Parenthood volunteer. I knew the word ovum by age three.

Just telling it like it is said...

Mist1: See I knew that there was a reason that you are soo clever...

That's it! I think I really know this time what is wrong with me!!

Christina_the_wench said...

jayme 'visited' my blog too. Maybe she has it in for us blondes.

I loved Judy Blume books. I'm making my daughters read them and quizzing them later.

Just telling it like it is said...

Christina: Oh your daughter is really lucky..I love super fudge too!!!

Superstar said...

NICE!!! I see the craziest of them all is out of her padded cell!!! BAWWAAHHHAAA

Love Judy Blume...She is a great childrens author.

I really do not know very much about catholosim...I do know that Easter and Christmas is a bad time of year to use the parking lot at a local perish!
LOL ;o)
Smooches

Just telling it like it is said...

Super: Isn't it great we all know about the "book". I recently bought "Are you there God it's me Margret" for my nice..just trying to pass down the information!!!

Beth said...

ya, ya, ya....get to the good stuff....did you get lucky in your Catholic girl Outfit?!!

Cece said...

OMG my mom never told my sister or I about what to expect when our monthly came. Nor did she give us the Judy Blume books. I'm sure I learned about it from an aunt or friends at school.

As for teen pregnancy, my dad told me if I came home pregnant I was on my own. I wasn't stupid. I knew just how great I had it at home so I *sort of* kept my legs closed! lol

Great post!

Baba Ganoush said...

What's up with all you ladies out here in the blogosphere and your period discussions?

Catholic School Girl getup makes up for it though. Where does a guy buy one of those things and not feel like a pervurt? Do you have to buy it in peices? Should I just have my wife buy it? Will she think I'm a deviant?

I've said too much again.

Have a great weekend.

Just telling it like it is said...

Baba: I am ashamed to say it but I got my uniform from the Catholic uniform store for high schoolers...

that's probably 3 more Hail Marys'

awaiting said...

Hey girl!!

I think that hobag is all show and no action. Ignore that fake robot of a blogger. Whoever it is just wants to see what drama they can stir because there is no blog that we can visit on the profile.

Probably some teenager who has no friends, looking for excitement...or some bitter ol' bitty with too much time on her hands and not enough sewing needles!

:) You RAWK girl!!

Lightning Bug's Butt said...

What -- no pic?

Queen of the Mayhem said...

My mom never told me about the "birds and the bees" either! What is up with that! Of course, now that my daughter is 8 and the time keeps getting closer and closer to that conversation....I can better understand why she was not fired up to share!

Catholic Girl uniform? I like that idea! I did graduate from Catholic School!


PS: I am pretty bummed that no one has ever accused me of trying to steal their husband in a blog comment...guess I just don't rate as high! (hee-hee)

YOU WANTON HUSSY, YOU! :)