Thursday, January 25, 2007

Some Things Gots to Change Around Here...


Whilst in Dallas I was can you say a lump on a log. I think my Father the Marine would be sooooo disappointed in me if he knew how lazy I have been this past week. I mean it I swear, I swear things are going to change before I can like fit into my skinny jeans (I am pushing it). Semper Fi Amy Semper Fi, Suck it up as my Father would say. I say to my self, "Self I think I can I think I can". The following is in no particular order.

1: Masturbate at least once a week, hey this is not not for sexual pleasure I swear, it is to release chemicals in my brain that will help me reach homeostasis. ( You brought that right?)

2. Go to the Gym at least 4 times a week. If I start to slack I am going to kick my own arise and I will not let my self Masturbate as punishment and then you know that means....no homeostasis ..I swear it is not sexual I swear...

4. Eat better food. Why my fridge right now has plenty of raw veggies...I am forced to eat them I have nothing else, unless I start to eat my own arm off. Which in case I am kind of vain and need my arm. I have every variety of Rice cakes -that is known to all man in my cabinets (but they taste so good I swear).If I try to cheat, I will not allow myself to masturbate and we all know what that means no homeostasis...It's not sexual I swear...

6. Wright down everything I'm not anal'; will not wright down what I eat so surly I will not eat that much...

7. And there you have it, some things got to change around here...

11 comments:

Beth said...

me thinks someone needs a little homeostasis.....what the heck is that anyway? Can I use that as an excuse to masturbate too?

Just telling it like it is said...

Beth: some times I like to use big words to make my self feel like I am smart...work with me...you can definately use that excuse to masturbate...and and you'll sound smart...

Queen of the Mayhem said...

Girl,
You do what you have to do! The last thing any of us want is for you to be off balance in any way! :) The gym 4 times a week! I am impressed! Look out skinny jeans!

tsduff said...

Nice diet plan.

mist1 said...

Masturbation and veggies? I'm on that diet too. I prefer frozen veggies. They don't go bad when I forget that I bought them to cover up my frequent wine purchases.

Christina_the_wench said...

Got any spare batteries on ya'?

Let's Pretend said...

Clearly the problem is that you are not masturbating enough!

Masturbation is like a vitamin--you have to take it every day! It releases endorphins that will make you much more productive. It's like medicine!!

And when you find that you are more productive--going to the gym 4 times a week eating your veggies etc. you should masturbate to reward yourself.

Let me know how this works out for you--in the meantime I am going to go buy some Duracell stock!

Just telling it like it is said...

Queen:Yes, that is my thought exactly balance that is what it is all about.

TS: I would recommend this diet to all, the jury is still out but I am guessing that it is going to work.

Mist1: I knew that you knew what I was talking about. See...like minds

Christina: I alway have back ups. One can never be too prepared. It's the Marine in me.

Pretend; Thanks for the support.

Kevin said...

I agree with Let's Pretend. But don't masturbate every day. Three times a week would be just fine.

I can only speak for me (and maybe most guys) but it's much better when there is a day or two of build up.

Superstar said...

LOL ;o)
B.O.B. HELLLOOOO???? Everyday? LOL ;o)

~puts hand ehind ear,~
Did someone say anal?
WHAT?!?!?!?!

Lightning Bug's Butt said...

Homeostasis: VERY important. That's the goal of all biology.

That and masturbation.