Great Gads can it be???

I can't believe it I haven't seen this person in years...
No it can't be then I squint to look at the last name again that is in front of me...
I mean I just wrote about this like last month and I have never written about her...
My girlfriend the one I went to Florida with, and the girl that I have had the most fun with ever has just gotten in touch with me...
Ohhh look out she's single...
Oh the stories I could tell of our fun...
I'll let you know how it goes...
and then we dance....

Getting over Engineer Guy...Why is it so hard...

It's hard to be funny, charming and somewhat shocking ( what all you have to be is pretty right? ) when my days are filled with some what of a sadness so deep it hits me deep into my bones...
For that I have been taking Calcium thinking that the calcium will fill in the holes...

So far it is not working but I will keep on trying...

I was thinking of drinking some wine till I saw "Dr.G the Medical Examiner" and she was talking about how alcohol makes your liver fat....
I don't want to be fat even if it's my liver I know very vain right? but it is me we are talking about.

I guess it is true you can't have it all, but at least I have all of you to make me smile on a regular basis. I looked at all my blogger friends today and found some new friends...No no I wasn't cheating on you at all I swear! Just trying to entertain myself and keep my mind off my sadness.
Thanks for listening. Tomorrows blog will be up beat I swear I might even talk about Dr. Goldenrod....He loves me....(I plucked a petal) He loves me not...

Comb by ya.....

I got my arse kicked today in spin class...
What can I say I like to torture myself...
I've be thinking...I know it is a stretch but my days are filled with moving into the ghetto and having dreams of meth addicts breaking in my house and then and then I have to pull out a UFC move and kick their arses!!!

Since I have not been working as a nurse I have missed grabbing balls and asking the patients to cough...what did they come into the ER you ask?? An infected toenail but I like to be throe you know you never know. I am not sure what I am looking for but I like to make the handsome guys cough. Is that so wrong??
School starts Feb 9th and with an MBA I can't grab the balls anymore. I panicked, but then I remembered I can always work as a nurse helping the Cardiologist grow his business and grab all the balls I want...
Life can be sweet!!!

I'm nursing the hangover...

Out with a old friend last night and out to my old stomping grounds I'm nursing a hangover.
I know what was I thinking?
More later I got to drink some more tomato juice or get an IV or something...

Speaking of new beginings...

Happy Birthday Martin Luther King Jr.

You gave us hope and I know your smiling down from heaven to know that Obama is presendent!

"Free at last thank God almighty Free at Last"

I'm getting pampered today finally...

Today I am going to the much needed spa with my girlfriend...
Yes, full body massage, and I am hoping it is from a foreign man who doesn't speak English so I can tell him not to talk but to just look pretty... I am going to tell him to massage my butt mostly is that wrong?
Then spin class tonight I am getting my butt to stand up on its own..

I need you blogger friends you are a part of my life and I look forward to hearing about yours. Blogging has helped me through so much the good the bad and the sexual...
Thank you so much for your constant commitments to share in my experiences. At least I know that people love me inspite of all of my miscomings and it is wonderful!!!
I love all of you all,
Amie

I'm going undercover...

This year is going to be a change for me where I am going to focus on me and not saving everyone else. I am going undercover whilst I finish my MBA. I have decided to write a book. I am moving out to a very small apt in the down town area. I am going to find a story and write about it. I find people fascinating and I know they all have a story to tell...
Last night I went out with my fabulous girlfriend dancing the night away and I think I am going to be okay. We were just about each other but the men where wondering how the guys could let us out...
What guys? I'm free and even though she is married she is free to do what every she wants..Right
I am all about empowerment...
Change in the near future I am hopeful...

Bored...

I'm Bored out of my mind...
I can't watch anymore trashy TV, I can't read anymore news articals..
Bored...
Must drink wine and get back with you...
Bored...

This post is coming from a slightly intoxicated account but I'm writing this for Doggie

Picture it...
My birthday is in march usually around spring break, and I was fortunate enough to have a FUN FUN girlfriend "Kristin" who was up for anything.
So, my three-O birthday was coming up and I called my girlfriend Kristen and asked her if she would meet me in Florida. (At the time I was dating this guy who lived in Florida, but spent more time in Dallas (were I lived) than where he lived.) As a birthday gift he would fly my girlfriend out to Florida, and I plus he would rent us a car so that we could drive all over Florida chasing our florida dreams, we would meet him half way through our vacay at his condo off the beach...
You see where I am coming from right...
How lucky was I at that time??? We would drive to clearwater, then to coco beach then on to Miami!!! Sweet where we plegde to each other that we would indeed go to South Beach and then dare each other to go topless...
I was stoked...
Florida here we come...
You will have to tune in for our trip to Miami, but let me tell you clearwater was the bomb...
Let me just say that Clearwater is very safe and we stayed in a Mom and Pop type of establishment. The owner's son told us, " just because it is spring break you can't bring any gentalmen callers to the room the people that live here at the motel can't handle it"...
Really okay we are together "wink, wink " if you know what I mean...coarse we were pulling his leg... but it was all about the fun!!! We were and still are not the kind of girls to hook up with guys for spring break or for any other reason for that matter.
Which comes to the last night that we stayed at the motel. Some how by miracle we made it back to the hotel safe and sound. I took off my bikini and put on my robe and passed out onto our single bed that we were sharing. I then kkfind myself waking up the the sound of my drunk girlfriend naked carried by the owners son into our room...
Hu? apparently my girlfriend got sick in the night and decided to go outside for a vomit, when neighbors complained the son came to the resue. I am sure that he saw both of us buck naked me with an open robe and well the BFF in her birthday suit...
and here it was my birthday...

Hoping I don't look like a deer in headlights...

My new endeavor...
I am going to try and get into school
for my masters degree...
Holy crap what am I thinking???
More torture...More later
Thanks for all the lovin peeps!!

Ohhh that's my big boy

Why do men have nipples???

I am on the never end search for the truth about men...
Something you should know about me is that I have had strange men's Penis in my hands...
I know but it was too late to quit nursing school before this revealing skill was placed in my hands...did I just type that out loud, and no pun intended...
I would like to just say for the record that from what I have seen that men'z peni has nothing to do with the size of their hands or feet...
and ummmm nahhh I can't even say it I am still shy!!!I love all of you out their in blog land

Happy New Year...

Okay this is a first for me...
I am not drunk or I have not even had a drink of alcohol believe that??
Happy New Year to all of my peeps I wish you the very best!!!
I love all of you and I am thankful that you are in my life!!!
xoxoxoxox
Darn girl

Random Shi'et that I am forced to tell by my brain...

My Grandma grew-up in a very Mormon household and was married by the time She was 18yrs. old. She has been married to my Grandpa for 60yrs. Most of that time they have adhered to most of the strict beliefs that the church demanded of them. However, my Grandpa smoked behind the churches back and kept a bottle of whisky in the bedside table for medicinal purposes only.(sometimes Grandma drove him crazy) They both never drank their whole life and still don't but Grandpa would take a swig every now and then if He were stressed enough. Nothing wrong with that but I have to say that the grandchildren like to get a rise out of my sweet Grandma every-now-and-then because she is still so innocent. This weekend Pop and I bought a movie thinking that the old folk don't get out much so to entertain ourselves and to spend some quality time with them we could all watch a movie.
Along came Polly sounded innocent enough, not according to my Grandma. Keep in mind she watched the whole movie even when I had my eyes closed some of the time; I even cringed at times because I just thought it would be way to scandalous for her. I didn't want to give her a heart attach or cause her blood sugar to rise at a deadly level. Hey they are old and Grandpa threatens to die on us all the time usually to milk all the attention he can get especially from Grandma (he agrees with this).
After the movie ended Grandma said, a woman married 60 yrs. never see a naked rear end, especially not a young naked butt! I think she was trying to give me a heart attack. My jaw dropped. She smiled and Grandpa stayed up with her whilst we went to bed. Grandpa sleeps in their room and she sleeps on the couch, but I'm thinking Grandma might have gotten a little fresh with Grandpa. Maybe he even got to pull his nasal cannula from his oxygen tank to the side for a little kiss action.
*Please note that while this is a true story mostly, my family has a wonderful sense of humor and this is to be taken lightly. They found it funny and know my sense of humor. No one was offended by this post and if you are I'm sorry you take life too seriously.
Happy New Year...another year and many more post to come I hope a glimpse in my life of that darn girl can bring you a little piece of happiness ;)

I can't believe it I am turning into my Ma...

A Pic of Ma and my sister... Ma's Dog
I woke up this morning at 4:00 am looked into the mirror and Screamed...
I am starting to look like my Ma and not only that I have turned into her too..
My Ma had a pill for everything.
You have a cold, put some vics in your nose and take a B vitamin...
You have an ear infection, put some vics and take a B vitamin...
You have upset stomach, put some vics and peptobismo...
My version (my poor child he has a neurotic mother that is a nurse)..
Kid did you poop today...He says," Ma" No...
No worries I got a pill..here take this stool softener...
Kid how many times did you pee today and what color was it...(the kid doesn't drink enough water so I am neurotic and think he will die of dehydration) The kid says, "Ma" 2 times and it was yellow...Me "all day" OMGOsh...I got water with crystal light lemonade in it...drink up...
What you have a huge pimple... I got a tube of anit-pimple cream let me pick it and put some vic up your nose...
It's tragic...It can't be...I said I would never turn into her...
At least I don't walk around with a shirt in the house that is slit all the way down both sides sos she can torture my sister & I or anyone that we might bring to the house...
She's obsessed with showing off her great boobs..
I would never be like that...
I mean really does it sound like me to talk about my boobs and show them off?? Really?

Engineer guys 31ar birthday bash...

Out to dinner with Engineer guy, his brother and girlfriend. We made them sing Happy birthday to him and then we went to the comedy club to see last comic standing winner Alonzo Bodden..
He was a trooper and happily mentioned Engineer guy's birthday to the crowd.
One day at a time...
Happy Holidays to all...

And these are the days of my life..

Whilst being at stay at home goddess (no job yet but I am working on it) I have been trying to be exciting seems like my days are dull compared to what they used to be like. Good thing I have great friends that just happen to live crazy lives and then share them with me.
read on and be wowed...
udes

So the smooth kitty kronicals are in full swing, First of all It is amazing that i made it here! Ran 2 freaking Miles (felt like 10) with my 40lb backpack on arriving at my connecting flight in Atlanta, GA as they were closing the gate! So looking like a wet dog! Oh sexy girlfriend! yea. So my kitesurf gear obviously did not make it but I did yea! Thank god, I had my first date set up for Thursday night! I slept all day until 6 pm the time change was and still is a bitch! 8 hour difference. from Maui, I want to sleep all day and party all night, he he...

I finally dragged my ass out of bed and went for a walk around the neighborhood and went shopping for food. Made it back to hostel in time for a shower and realized that it was almost 930 pm shit the sun was still up it's summer duh! My date, er I mean first victim... Juli picked me up at my hostel and we went to some bar called liquid! Got drunk (shocker I know) and some random guy grabbed my ass Juli defending my honor (ha ha) I know he did not know me yet! Got in a fight and we all got kicked out of the club at 2:30am damn time flys!

Got invited ok should I say Sexnapped back to his apt I was thinking I should play hard to get, then logic and reason went out the window when he started kissing me and holding his hot did I say hot, fucking ripped body against me! Plus, his cologne I think it is called wet panties in English! Damn yea so score is USA 2 ARG 0, only 24 hrs in he he. I am here for a good time not a long time right. Ok so he lied, he said he would give me a ride home In the am ha ha! I think that is the first time I have done the walk of shame in buenos aires ha ha. At least the hostel was close, only a few blocks from his place. I Could not care had fun he was hung and has a beautiful body, so sexy nice juicy uncut cock. I swear the more research I do, I am never going back to uncut men.. It seriously takes off at least an inch or more, idiots, I think I will start a cause against circumsizing penis.. Poor guys...

I went for a run in the park Sat and realized how grateful I am to be here and be able to have the lifestyle I have. Freedom is the most amazing gift you can have. The ability and choice to do what ever you want where ever you when ever you want. YES! I jogged past to lovers in the park making out, here it is ok and accepted to have public display of affection I love that no shame here. I jogged past them over an hour later and they were still at it. Love this city. Also the technology still stuck in the past a bit here, A small girl was roller skateing on a pair of old, i mean old skates, like they were metal with the straps to tie to your shoes. Think way way back, before inline skates. She was so happy rocking out with her rollerskates. Makes me appreciate all the freaking toys I have, typing out emails on my goddamn phone, how do you say spoiled! Yes I spoil myself why because no one else is going to! fuck it only live once enjoy it every day.. Go big... I also love how much attention I get here. I feel like I am naked all the time. All the men look when me a white blond girl runs by.. freaking so awesome for the ego, especial since I was feeling like matilda the hunt in Maui. No love dry spell from hell, I swear I felt fat and ugly there and I know I was hella active. At least here the men have egos so big here they are not threatened by me.. hehe How does an Argentine man kill himself, he jumps off his ego.. he he

How do you say next, oh yes his name is Diego my new baby daddy, he he and I am going to meet him and his family tomorrow! What the fuck Day 2 first date with him and his family, RED FLAGS ANYONE? Oh then pablo (no I AM not seeing him again, he wants me and he can not have me na na na na) but he got me into the world polo finals tomorrow afternoon my out worse case! Yea so all is well! I am happy safe and unwound! Happy kitty meow..Woo hoo

Ok update now day 5 Monday, opps I lost track of time fast here, shit. So Date with Diego was umm interesting. If your ok with meeting the parents who do not speak english and your spanglish which sucks ass, well it was quite the experience. One for the books I can now say I met the parents on a first date, bizzare.. But Diego, is well hot, amazing body, built like a rugby player, huge and wide, and he hem hung, I swear I really really tryed to not have sex on the first date but hell since he wants to have my kid. I figured I should see what I would be dealing with, Yea Argentina 1 USA 3.. Ok I smiled all day took all the damn questions ( like, do I cook? Could I be faithful? he he how old am I, Why am I still single? Hell I dont know? What am I doing for Christmas, do I want to spend it with him and his family, do I want to move in with him and stay at his apt. HELLO, I just met this guy except for brief chats online.. Is your mouth hanging open, yea mine too) and drilling with a grain of salt. But when he asked me for my papers I could not help but laugh,... Seriously, the funny part was he was dead serious. My clean bill of health.. Ok I know I have a twisted sense of humor but damn. Imagine you just met the most beautiful man and he says I would like to imagine having a child with you, your skin, your eyes are so beautiful, you have such a great body. Oh by the way are you HIV neg or pos HELLO SCREEEECH... Brakes, where the hell is the exit, I was like yea I am clean what about you? did you say hepatitis? What? was that a joke, Oh you have a pacemaker and your 38 and your biological clock is ticking louder than mine. more like a landmine.. wow.... So how was your day? Heavy or lighter than mine? Any way went and watched fireworks in downdown and stayed at his very nice apt and tryed not to sleep with him but he decided to sleep naked next to me, mary penis torcher chamber. ahh yea so you know me, woke up at 330 am with a gianormous shlong next to me and I accidentally fell on it trying to get up and use the bathroom missed the bidet.. oopss my bad.

I figure that is the best way not to get a second date here in Argentina, as the men have no respect for women who put out on the first date. And since I have no respect for men (they all lie to or say anything to fuck) I think we are even. So I am sure I will not hear from him again. we will see I will keep you updated. I think He is OCD. Overthinker for sure. Way heavy machismo, man looking for his mom to take care of him and raise a family.. He he Yea sign me up, but he said he wants to go to tahiti with me we will see if that is bull shit, are you seeing the same kind of a trend as me here. The men talk all sweet and when they open there mouth its all bullshit.. sounds good smells like shit.

At least he had a beautiful cock to back up the shit and his thighs and body linebacker, I was MIA underneath him...... he he Next...

Ok so Sunday, A day of rest for me, and today I walked all over the damn city trying to figure out where I could launch my kitesurfing gear and realized how freaking spoiled I was in Maui.. here the water is so gross I am getting sick already and I have not even touched. it I took some pictures I will post on the blog, since that is public you can see the trash in the soup that looks like chocolate poop water. eeeuuuuu

Love your mugs, hope this first bit of crazy smooth kitty vag chronicals brightens your day. More to come, I am lining up dates with Fernando for seconds from last time I was here, yummie hotel by the hour adventure. And with Sebastian the hottie singer. Can not wait to see him perform. Maybe a personal performance after show show... Also looking forward to the Stripper, also have a clingon at the end of the world in Ushuaia Diego no. 2... And German in Rodeo to go kitesurfing with. Should be an interesting week(month) lets see who wants to go home with Mary???, Since I can not take a spanish class this week, the damn school I signed up with went out of business since um 4 months ago.. WTF??? Well at least Aunt flo decided to wait a few days before benching smooth kitty for an involuntary time out...

MEOWWWWW

XO
Crazy

Finding the funny...

Today I was talking to a friend on the phone that makes me crack up..
We love to talk about our families...
His eating pigeon during the depression (he will only admit to his grandparents eating it) and mine eating squirrel (what can I say they are from the country)
So, I asked him how work was last night and then he told the story...
It goes something like this..
He was a work (he has a history of being very clumsy) a trait that I think builds his character...
He was suppose to be wearing black dress pants for serving people...
Well I guess he always goes commando and happen to bend down and catch his pant pocket to the corner of the bar....as you may guess he tore the pocket down to the zipper and his balls fell out...
I am assuming that his whole package fell out but he spared me the dirty little details...
Turns out his boss is some what of a Hitler type so He made him put on Yellow rain rubber pants to serve the rest of the night....
I cracked up laughing at the thought of him ripping his pants while serving drinks to people at a baseball game...they got a little more than they bargained for..
I hope he at least shaved....

The signs are there you just have to see them...

Whilst working hard at not having a job today I came upon a blog that was sales driven. It stated, "The signs are all there you just have to see them" . I am looking for signs that will point me in the right direction to finding the job that is right for me...
Well I must be blind because I don't see any signs right now...
I looked under the covers...
I looked under the bed...
I asked the people I live with if they have seen any signs..
I looked in my car...
Nope Nothing I got nothing...
No worries I will continue to search for that dang sign but it is tiring let me tell ya!