Wednesday, December 17, 2008

And these are the days of my life..

Whilst being at stay at home goddess (no job yet but I am working on it) I have been trying to be exciting seems like my days are dull compared to what they used to be like. Good thing I have great friends that just happen to live crazy lives and then share them with me.
read on and be wowed...
udes

So the smooth kitty kronicals are in full swing, First of all It is amazing that i made it here! Ran 2 freaking Miles (felt like 10) with my 40lb backpack on arriving at my connecting flight in Atlanta, GA as they were closing the gate! So looking like a wet dog! Oh sexy girlfriend! yea. So my kitesurf gear obviously did not make it but I did yea! Thank god, I had my first date set up for Thursday night! I slept all day until 6 pm the time change was and still is a bitch! 8 hour difference. from Maui, I want to sleep all day and party all night, he he...

I finally dragged my ass out of bed and went for a walk around the neighborhood and went shopping for food. Made it back to hostel in time for a shower and realized that it was almost 930 pm shit the sun was still up it's summer duh! My date, er I mean first victim... Juli picked me up at my hostel and we went to some bar called liquid! Got drunk (shocker I know) and some random guy grabbed my ass Juli defending my honor (ha ha) I know he did not know me yet! Got in a fight and we all got kicked out of the club at 2:30am damn time flys!
Got invited ok should I say Sexnapped back to his apt I was thinking I should play hard to get, then logic and reason went out the window when he started kissing me and holding his hot did I say hot, fucking ripped body against me! Plus, his cologne I think it is called wet panties in English! Damn yea so score is USA 2 ARG 0, only 24 hrs in he he. I am here for a good time not a long time right. Ok so he lied, he said he would give me a ride home In the am ha ha! I think that is the first time I have done the walk of shame in buenos aires ha ha. At least the hostel was close, only a few blocks from his place. I Could not care had fun he was hung and has a beautiful body, so sexy nice juicy uncut cock. I swear the more research I do, I am never going back to uncut men.. It seriously takes off at least an inch or more, idiots, I think I will start a cause against circumsizing penis.. Poor guys...
I went for a run in the park Sat and realized how grateful I am to be here and be able to have the lifestyle I have. Freedom is the most amazing gift you can have. The ability and choice to do what ever you want where ever you when ever you want. YES! I jogged past to lovers in the park making out, here it is ok and accepted to have public display of affection I love that no shame here. I jogged past them over an hour later and they were still at it. Love this city. Also the technology still stuck in the past a bit here, A small girl was roller skateing on a pair of old, i mean old skates, like they were metal with the straps to tie to your shoes. Think way way back, before inline skates. She was so happy rocking out with her rollerskates. Makes me appreciate all the freaking toys I have, typing out emails on my goddamn phone, how do you say spoiled! Yes I spoil myself why because no one else is going to! fuck it only live once enjoy it every day.. Go big... I also love how much attention I get here. I feel like I am naked all the time. All the men look when me a white blond girl runs by.. freaking so awesome for the ego, especial since I was feeling like matilda the hunt in Maui. No love dry spell from hell, I swear I felt fat and ugly there and I know I was hella active. At least here the men have egos so big here they are not threatened by me.. hehe How does an Argentine man kill himself, he jumps off his ego.. he he
How do you say next, oh yes his name is Diego my new baby daddy, he he and I am going to meet him and his family tomorrow! What the fuck Day 2 first date with him and his family, RED FLAGS ANYONE? Oh then pablo (no I AM not seeing him again, he wants me and he can not have me na na na na) but he got me into the world polo finals tomorrow afternoon my out worse case! Yea so all is well! I am happy safe and unwound! Happy kitty meow..Woo hoo
Ok update now day 5 Monday, opps I lost track of time fast here, shit. So Date with Diego was umm interesting. If your ok with meeting the parents who do not speak english and your spanglish which sucks ass, well it was quite the experience. One for the books I can now say I met the parents on a first date, bizzare.. But Diego, is well hot, amazing body, built like a rugby player, huge and wide, and he hem hung, I swear I really really tryed to not have sex on the first date but hell since he wants to have my kid. I figured I should see what I would be dealing with, Yea Argentina 1 USA 3.. Ok I smiled all day took all the damn questions ( like, do I cook? Could I be faithful? he he how old am I, Why am I still single? Hell I dont know? What am I doing for Christmas, do I want to spend it with him and his family, do I want to move in with him and stay at his apt. HELLO, I just met this guy except for brief chats online.. Is your mouth hanging open, yea mine too) and drilling with a grain of salt. But when he asked me for my papers I could not help but laugh,... Seriously, the funny part was he was dead serious. My clean bill of health.. Ok I know I have a twisted sense of humor but damn. Imagine you just met the most beautiful man and he says I would like to imagine having a child with you, your skin, your eyes are so beautiful, you have such a great body. Oh by the way are you HIV neg or pos HELLO SCREEEECH... Brakes, where the hell is the exit, I was like yea I am clean what about you? did you say hepatitis? What? was that a joke, Oh you have a pacemaker and your 38 and your biological clock is ticking louder than mine. more like a landmine.. wow.... So how was your day? Heavy or lighter than mine? Any way went and watched fireworks in downdown and stayed at his very nice apt and tryed not to sleep with him but he decided to sleep naked next to me, mary penis torcher chamber. ahh yea so you know me, woke up at 330 am with a gianormous shlong next to me and I accidentally fell on it trying to get up and use the bathroom missed the bidet.. oopss my bad.
I figure that is the best way not to get a second date here in Argentina, as the men have no respect for women who put out on the first date. And since I have no respect for men (they all lie to or say anything to fuck) I think we are even. So I am sure I will not hear from him again. we will see I will keep you updated. I think He is OCD. Overthinker for sure. Way heavy machismo, man looking for his mom to take care of him and raise a family.. He he Yea sign me up, but he said he wants to go to tahiti with me we will see if that is bull shit, are you seeing the same kind of a trend as me here. The men talk all sweet and when they open there mouth its all bullshit.. sounds good smells like shit.
At least he had a beautiful cock to back up the shit and his thighs and body linebacker, I was MIA underneath him...... he he Next...
Ok so Sunday, A day of rest for me, and today I walked all over the damn city trying to figure out where I could launch my kitesurfing gear and realized how freaking spoiled I was in Maui.. here the water is so gross I am getting sick already and I have not even touched. it I took some pictures I will post on the blog, since that is public you can see the trash in the soup that looks like chocolate poop water. eeeuuuuu
Love your mugs, hope this first bit of crazy smooth kitty vag chronicals brightens your day. More to come, I am lining up dates with Fernando for seconds from last time I was here, yummie hotel by the hour adventure. And with Sebastian the hottie singer. Can not wait to see him perform. Maybe a personal performance after show show... Also looking forward to the Stripper, also have a clingon at the end of the world in Ushuaia Diego no. 2... And German in Rodeo to go kitesurfing with. Should be an interesting week(month) lets see who wants to go home with Mary???, Since I can not take a spanish class this week, the damn school I signed up with went out of business since um 4 months ago.. WTF??? Well at least Aunt flo decided to wait a few days before benching smooth kitty for an involuntary time out...
MEOWWWWW
XO
Crazy

5 comments:

Beth said...

um....out of all that, the only thing I come away with is "circumsised peens lose a whole inch???!!!!!"" HELLO!!!! Day-um. I've never had an uncut one...I have to live through you sista girl! ;)

sorry I haven't been around lately...my life is in the pitts. But I stilllove ya to death!!!!

buffalodick said...

Where in the Hell are you? I'm either losing my mind, or you are...

Chef E said...

WFW? Great story and wish it was me! Sounds like a tatoo might be involved too, lol and will thier be a sequel?

Just telling it like it is said...

Beth: I know your having a hard time..I am just praying for peace for you and as you know I love you too...
Buffalo: This story was sent to me by a traveling nurse that I worked with. She is quite interesting and just tells it like it is...She's an ER nurse so nothing shocks her..
chef E I'm glad you likey

Walker said...

I need a carton of cigarettes and a bottle of bourbon now.