How to pretend that you are successful in relationships...

One must believe the best...
Now I know that we have all been in the dump...in the dumper when we have broken and had our heart broken in a million peaces in the name of love.
I'm not sure but I think wine is (preferably the whole bottle of wine) is the answer...
I think Dr. Goldenrod told me once that wine was the answer to all of our problems...He was smart I should write that down take notes if you will...
I sort of talked with Engineer guy today via the cold, stone way by of the lap top and via e-mail...
It brakes my heart to know that I have hurt him so much...He never of coarse tells me that but I can feel it one of those pesky little things that come with being a nurse...Damn why me I ask?why me??..
Maybe wine (the whole bottle is the answer?)
It was like yesterday that I was writ ting about how I froze his penis at our best girls house and now I am trebling cold without the warmth of his naked body against mine...I am challenged by God to crucify the flesh...
Saving lives was one of the things I did that I took for Granted...with much power comes way more respect....and little of me has died...
More wine is needed to cure the pain...
Okay really...I know that I sound really pathetic right now...and why shouldn't I? I just walked out on a man that I though and knew that I would be spending the rest of my life with...having more children with...I have not given up hope yet....I will never given up on what was meant to be and I can keep on encouraging "thoughts who do believe in the beauty of their dreams..." Elenore Roosevelt...

I am hoping that Engineer guy will see the dept of my beauty and love for an innocent child who needs me more now that ever...it is not noble to do what is right...what is right is right and what is wrong is wrong...my moral compass steers me to do what it's right no matter the torment that it has on my soul....As much as I have loved and been so lucky to have the people that have loved me in this life...I have not love anyone as much as I have loved Engineer guy and the kid...The kid however is still very much a child that needs encouragement and strength from his mother and I can just hope that Engineer guy can see that my intentions are good even if I make inrush decisions I mean well...and I still think of engineer guy as family no matte what the coming days bring me...
All of my blogger friends out there pray for strength and for tolerance that my heart maybe able to take this separation from Engineer guy,....and hopefully he will come around and see that the kid and I are the only ones for him...if not I am prepared to accept defeat and move on if need be...
I told myself that this would be a funny post...you know where I talk about my boobs or ...I talk about the old guy with the pump erection devise displayed for all the nurses to see under the white tent...
I am breathing so I guess I will make it...but a big piece of me is estava gone for now...
The kid and me send our love your way so that you may live in some kind of peace...as for me...thankgooodness that I am famous in blogger land or else...
Banding together for a common cause...