Weird Science...

Am I the only one that was In Love, In LOVE with Anthony Michael Hall? Heck I was in love with him when he was in the move "Sixteen Candles"...Ah remember thoughts days of innocence. It was so easy for us girrls to fall in love every week with someone new.

I was thinking back to my very first kiss. I remember it like it was yesterday. He had big blue eyes, blonde hair (sort of a bowl cut), he was definitely shorter than I, and he had braces. I think I only really loved him for his braces; I coveted "braces" at the time. I had no idea why my teeth were straight.

Yep, at the time I was definitely in love. If you asked me to talk to him I would be tongue tied after all boys were just starting to interest me. Talk to them about what? He asked me to go to the movies. Ah yeah, to what movie I still can't remember, but I do remember him touching my hand trying to hold it. OMGosh! He tried to hold my hand, and NO I did not kiss him that night what kinda girl do you think I am? I do not kiss on the first date. No "Engineer guy" I didn't even kiss you on the first date like you so hopefully remember.

The next week we were at recess, he put his face close to mine. I started to sweat. What was happening to me? I mean I have seen this scene several times in the movies? Should I close my eyes? Should I tilt my neck? What if my nose gets' in the way? What happens if I get my lip stuck in his braces like I have seen so many times in teen movies? Should I let him stick his tongue in my mouth? Should I just stick my tongue out? Or should I move it around? All of these questions racked my brain as I was in the moment. Damn I should have read Cosmo magazine before I went to school that day. I quickly I eyeballed the recess grounds for my friends, If I could just get a look from one of my friends a nod to let me know it would be all okay. I saw no one. So I did what any seventh grade student would do in my place.

I faked it! I closed my eyes acting like I knew knew what I was doing. And there you have it folks. He put his lips on mine and it was the worst slimy kiss I have had till this very day. I did not open my mouth. I did not dare let him go for the tongue kiss. No, I would have to do more research before I went to that base and I think he needed some more research too. I told myself I definitely needed to watch several more make-out movies, and read additional trashy magazines.

I broke up with him that very same week...after all Next week I knew I would be in love with someone else... Hopefully the next boy will have done his research...

P.S. "Engineer Guy" I know why I love you this week...It is for your sweet sexy kisses.

Some People Are So Far Away Yet So Close...

I have to say that I am one lucky girl...

I have been on my own since the very day I turned 17 yrs. old. I had an old beat up car, a garage apartement with shagg green carpet and no refrigerator. The green carpet in itself is enough to make me break out in Hives. No worries Mist1 I took a benadrl. (my cure for everything)
I only ate once a day...now if I could only manage to due that I would be super lean.

One day I realized as I read other blogs we all have gone though tough times, one being no greater pain than the other, yet I have have been soo blessed. I never ever was without love; not from my family but from the family I created with friends. Beth when I read some of your painfully honest stories, my heart when out to you. I want you to know that your heartfelt stories inspired me, your dedication to your children...not to mentions your husband amazes me. Your like the glue that keeps everything together. While mothers' are over worked and under payed, I just want you to know that others look to you for glue too and we appreciate ya...Do you take peanuts for payment?? Unless of coarse you have an allergy to them.

Made my day...

1# Made my day, while working today a single white male came in with testical abcess...I am sure that it was MRSA...Dr. lanced it...I can't even tell you what came out of it...you might throw-up...but I I was smiling inside... I know I am sick, sick I have a problem. Let's blame it on my mother...

2# Mist1 cracked me up again again with her blog...people you have to read it...

3# Tonight is date night and my boyfriend is cooking dinner...he doesn't believe that I am capible of knocking him out cold. So what if he is like 6'3 and almost 200 lbs. I can kick his arse...Hey hey people we had a boxing ring out in the barn where I grew up...So, I had to knock him out just to prove a point...Why Why do men not believe me? There is a lota power behind this small frame...never underestimate the darn girl....

Yep today was a wonderful day!!!

Beer is Mostly Protien Right?

I can't believe you said that...and he still loves you..."Girlfriend mentions this too me last night" Suddenly I am insecure and think to myself...maybe I am tooo much...to crazy...I mean really who dates someone who is knee deep in other people vagina during the week or has other men's peni in there hands...GLOVE people Gloved...and ONLY for medical emergencies I swear...I swear...

Tonight is date night with myself... I'm a cheap date, so I am watching "Sex in the City" DVD's that I borrowed and drinking beer for dinner...what is soooo wrong with that? and as I watch the DVD's I am analizing every sexual chocolate episode as if I am a chair holder on the team of judges for the Golden globe awards...

I think to myself...I know thinking a new concept; I scratched my head as I pondered the thought...Does he really love me with all my crazyiness?...I mean I wake up in the middle of the night and say.."Dr. I need the patients chart"...He gently nudges me and says baby we are in bed you are not at the hospital..."Oh" I go back to sleep...or when I have a particular stressful day and I can't sleep due to all the adrenaline racing though my viens because I was involved in a Code Blue before I reached his house for date night...he understands that I can't sleep and doesn't mind if I keep the TV on as he sleeps... On the weekends he lets me drink and get a little crazy with telling all my peni stories...he never even is fazed when I give the talk about herpes...I send him text messages that read, " I know that you have a girlfriend, but how about we have sex before she comes over"...he sends a text to me back..." sounds great, by the way I love you and I will see you Later" darn fooled...he know's it was me...

"Girlfriend" does he love me for me and all the crazy shit I put him through?...I asked him tonight as he was driving home from a business dinner with clients...Honey...you sure you love me?...
He is solid. He say, " Woman...till the deepest end of the ocean till the last grain of sand"...

I love it when he calls me Woman...yes girlfriend...He loves me even if.....

Ma I got a Chin Hair...WTF?

No you don't...

Ma yes I do.

No you don't.

Please dear God tell me that my almost 12 yr. old son doesn't have a chin hair. He is convinced convinced that he has a chin hair and for sure has a mustache...

If I only knew how painful it was to grow him up. His Grandmother a wise wise woman once told me, "one day he is going to break your heart, grow up and live his life with-out you being able to control it".

WTF? Didn't I give birth to this kid? Didn't I stretch out my perfectly flat belly in to a road map of streaks, and stretch marks?

I tell you what...How dare he grow up. How dare he not want me to pick him up and carry him around while we are shopping? Oh of coarse he's like almost taller than I am now, and he does wear an 11 1/2 size shoe in men...but I think I might still be able to drag him around...

Oh me Heart was never the same after he was born...it has just grown big and soft...that and "Engineer guy" made me love him too...

Darn...Boys they have made me go soft...What happened to me I used to be so hard core...

How Did I Not Know This...

How did I get into Nursing school with out knowing that I would be Knee deep in vajigna..bagina..all the time...
Just this week I had to tell and teach a prego woman that she in fact had the Herp..and not just an urinary tract infection...

Let's just say that it must not be easy to date me and kinda not very sexy at times when I have to come home and tell”Engineer guy" about my vagina escapades. Not very sexy to tell him that I had my fingers, GLOVED people GLOVED in some Herp Vajgina...What can I say...I'm to sexy for my...boyfriend.

"Engineer guy" I'm sorry I wake up and ask you what allergies you have, and what medication your on...I am always working while I am sleeping...I'm sorry that I snore sometimes...yes, I admit that dirty little secrete. I’m sorry that I am a bacteria phoebe and ask you how long you have had that blister on your finger...

The thing is people he still talks to me...I don't get it. No matter what crazy thing comes out of my mouth, he still still talks to me and most of the time he still wants to have sex with me...well boyfriend...I love you...and no matter what crazy thing you do (He never does anything crazy, I told him to start so we could have balance) I will always love you... to the deepest end of the ocean to the very last grain of sand...and I'll be sure to bring thoughs breath right stips tonight...

My new pet, Pursearella, light purple shiney and never talks back...

As I got off of work today, crazy arse day I went to boyfriends house...or coarse I got lost again I only been going there for like ever...
I walked into the door with chest pain non a scale of 1-10 it was like a 4/10(no worries I am a doctor in my mind and know that it was really only anxiety and a need for tylenol pm), good thing boyfriend missed me cause there she was in the corner pursearella shiney and sparkley...I was stunded by the beauty of Purse-arella I was captured, it sunk in and I was self medicated with dieing devotion and love for purse-a- rella....
She's no ordinary pet, she gets to ride in a car seat in back seat due to wieght. She is potty trained and allowed to go out with me on most occations as long she is not at risk for injury. She never acts up, is not on regualar medications and she never complains. She is like the bestest ever...darn pet a girrll could have...and hey sweetheart you are the best of the best and I know that shit aint spelled right and all my grammar is wrong...it' s too dang late and my brain hurts.....Just know that Purse-a-rella will been loved as well as you and if not more than you...sweet! You the Champ!!!

MIA....I Have been Stripping....Ohhhhh Yeah

I have decided to quit my job as a Nurse as become a stripper...I mean really...I will not have to work 12 hr shifts, I will not have to collect urine, blood or deal with mean nurses that will not talk to me just because I a traveler. I asked boyfriend...Boyfriend will you still love me if I become a stripper...he says yes...

So, like you don't have to have a degree if you want to become a stripper, you can work days ...ummmm you don't wear any clothes..that is good cause all I have is scrubs... I might have a problem thought...I hear that you have to show your boobs...now I am not 0ne for having a problem showing cleavage...I mean really the girls are out all the time...but lets face it I need the push up bra, I have never flashed the boobs, and there is that fact that you have to dance on a pole. While I dance for my boyfriend on a regular basis (he has a pole in the living room) I'm not sure that I am that coordinated. ...Plus I might be self conscious of my body...after the kid your body is never the same...

Okay Okay...I guess I am only going to be a stripper in my mind and well I really kind of like being a nurse...