Tuesday, May 20, 2008

Times are a changing...


First, I would like to start off saying that I have made some mistakes these pasty 3 months that may change the coarse of my life forever. However I have been a woman that first totally freaks out, but then reverts back to my military roots; and tends to pull my self up my boot straps with my loving but crazy family at my side...Having said that I have been through worse times and when one door closes the other door opens... I am optimistic even thought I have probably shed enough tears to flood a lake...I take full responsibility I am human that is fallible as all of us are...
Rules of engagement..
Ruloilo 1: Never Never leave any man behind even if you are not sure that you can drag them out of danger or stop the bleeding...
It has come to my attention that my actions over the last several months (and I am not talking about cheating here) are too much for Engineer guy to handle. I can understand He is just trying to protect his heart. I can be pretty harsh at times coming from a military back-round, and I am pretty sure he is really not ready for responsibility of and "even if" relationship with me that is. So, I have decided to move forward and move into a place of my own. I guess when you make mistakes that you have to pay for the consequences and I am ready to do that although it sometimes is a hard pill to swallow.
Rule 2: My sister and I are BFF but we still have some sibling rivalry between us at times. My family is not normal, but who's family really is. What I can say about them...
In the line of fire they come though with their Amarillo sapotos (yellow shoes) on and will fight for the death of you. My Ma was like this," I can talk all the S#!+ about my children but anything said bad about them she would pull your wig off" A true story. My mother in her younger years happen to pull of the wig off a woman that thought she could take my 5'0 ft 98 lb. Mother in a Bar. I guess Ma showed her. My sister you have to love her...She recently went to Washington DC were my Brother-in_law (FLEW IN FROM IRAQ HIS 3rd. TOUR) and gave a speech about communications. in DC After the party my sister and her mother-in-law decided it would be fun to drink 5 or 6 bottles of wine, where in then sister vomited on her ball room dress and found herself naked on the bed next to her Mother-in Law. Yep that is my sister...
I have no bad feelings...
I am happy to have had the time I have with Engineer guy...
It's time for me to do what is responsible... and with I thank you for listening...

7 comments:

HEALTH NUT WANNABEE MOM said...

Its just so hard though, isn't it. Even if you feel it is for the best and time to move on it still takes a small piece of our hearts. You seem very strong and determined so I have no doubt you will be fine but allow yourself to grieve and another door will open and you will appreciate it. I love the stories about your mom and sister. You all sound like my kind of people.

Beth said...

sister girl...what's up? Maybe having your own place will be a good thing for you. Are you OVER or are you just moving into your own place but still together? I am so nosey!!!!

love you girlfriend....hugs to you. You ARE a very strond woman, and in the end, you ahve to do what's right for YOU. If engineer guy is THE right one, he'll still be there in the end. don;t I sound so wise? ;)

LOVE YOU!!!

Just telling it like it is said...

Health: Yep your right...time to move on I think...Love is so complicated and the feelings...sheesh you all know I am not about feelings...

Beth: Girl let me tell ya..either your with me or your against me...and you never leave a comrade when he is at his lowest point...and that is it. Weather I am over it or not doesn't matter...
What would happen If I got sick could I expect him to run cause he couldn't handle it...No fear
No regrets...Love you girl

ssgreylord said...

Just discovered your blog and was enthralled with your diary style honesty. I love that you share so much about your life. It's like a peek inside you. Good luck with the new place and with any other guys that come your way... maybe one of the old men patients at work? JK!

namaste said...

hi there. i found your blog over at beth's. i DO love a girl that tells it like it is. nice blog. hard pills to swallow builds the best character.

~maria

BillyWarhol said...

wow*

I wanna Pawty with yer Sis + U + yer Mom!!

Rock On!!

;)) xoxo Peace*

Just telling it like it is said...

SS: you should know that sometimes I am all talk..Darn it! I am a woman that has really tried hard to let her balls drop but then I find myself soft. Thanks for stoping by I try my best to tell it like it is...I will let you know how all it goes!

Na: Thanks for stoping by..I really don't like to swallow horse pills but sometimes life just doesn't give you a choice darn it!Beth is the best!!
Billy I will let Ma know she will be thrilled to know that I told that story...She is in fact famous in her own mind too! Oh how the apple doesn't fall far from the tree.