Anal leakage...that's right I said it...

I have writters block... There I said it. I have been thinking for days about how I was going to tell the world about my trip to my sister's house. I wanted to talk about the day that my sister, kids, mother-in-law and husband went shopping. Aparently, one should not eat a whole plate of fried food and then take the new "Diet pill" because you might think that you only have to fart but you really will shart in your pants..I know I know but it is true. Sister and hubby were in the bathroom at Dillars when he thought he had to fart...but no it was a shart.

Of coarse my sister laughed her arse off, her mother-in-law had to buy hubby new underware. My sister wouldn't let him throw the underware away and kept it to show the family. I know they are something special, and then you wonder what is wrong with me...Sister called the whole family to tell of this glorious news and well brother-in-law tried to deny it happened. Momo the youngest of my sister's 4 kids made sure to ask her father out loud at Dillars if he remembered to grab his underware. We all laughed for days about this insident and well brother took it like a champ.
More later on my adventures... now I need to read other blogs and hopefully I will be inspired, untill then I will make sure that I don't try the new "Diet Pill" because I don't want any anal leakage while out shopping.

Well I have never seen a wild thing feel sorry for it's self..

Just got home peeps....

I write more later...catching up on things.

Send me a quote from your favorite movie!!

Yes, I made it back alive with all my clothes on!!

On my way to Sisters....

I am on my way to my sister's house...watch out world if you think I am bad with my girlfriend just wait till sister and I throw one back...

Stay tuned...I'll let you know all the juicy stuff!!

What happen to your face??

Last night I was all glittered up, boobs up, but no cleavage out. Sorry, Johnny I had to wear my new fabulous shinny shirt.

Life house went on stage and I breathed in the music. Engineer guy of coarse had no idea who Lifehouse was "living for the moment I'm with you", and had no idea who the Goo Goo Dolls were " your Name". I think Engineer guy was taking one for the team, I was in Music blist.

Johnny then went on stage, My heart skipped a beat then, I blinked my eyes...surely wait a minute it sounds like him, it looks like his fabulous hair...Johnny did you get plastic surgery...No please say didn't give in the the whole Music biz and think that you have to have cheek implants. I didn't know how to take it, I mean really arn't men suppost to look more fabulous as they age? Johnny if you are reading this...I really enjoyed the music it was magical, but for goodness sakes please no more plastic surgery. Thanks!

Is Life Really a Beach?

Is life really a beach ? and if it is how come my tubing exprience was not all it was cracked up to be? Our first mistake was to go with people that were not drinking. How can you go down the river in tubes, in bacteria infested water, with 2 English teachers, and 4hours to burn without drinking?? Girlfriend almost bit the bulled I swear! She lost her cute fabulous hat, got stung by a bee and fell off her tube. Of coarse I emediately had to start CPR, perform the heimlich manover and gave her a shot of epi that I had strapped to my arse. No worries she was still breathing when I started the CPR, she really never was choking on anything and she really didn't have a allergic reaction to the bee sting, but I was like when in Rome why not practice..well because practice makes perfect right? At least girlfriend and I got a laugh when she asked the only guy on our tubing adventure if he needed a tampon? I don't think he got the joke CAUSE HE WASN'T DRINKING EITHER? What was wrong with these people?

Ahhh last the Tubing day has arrived...and I am up at 5:00 am I'm Officially a Dork

I was tagged several days ago by my fellow blogger Willow, she asked me to write 8 things that were unknown to the blog world...
I had to think for several days about this request because my blog is all about me and my life experiences, I never hold anything back. Last night we were the girls were talking about our salt adventure and the more we talked the more I thought not about telling unknown boring facts about myself but the Rules of engagement:
As was passed down from my aunt who was married to my uncle his step sister:
Rule 1. Sometimes you have to sleep in the wet spot. I guess it's kinda like taking one for the team.
2. This is the most important rule of engagment passed down from generation to generation. Every proper Southern girl, (no matter if you just got out of the shower) Uses a fresh clean wash cloth to freshen up before going to bed. My friends looked at me crazy last night when I told them that?? Clearly they are not from the South.
3. A landing strip is a must, hair is not our friend. When I was 14 yrs. Old my aunt Ann (cousin's wife who was like a year and a half older than me gross) said you have to shave more than just the bikini line. Really? I had no idea. Thanks aunt Ann! Not only do I frequently shave a landing strip but I have gotten a little artistic and have even managed shaving a heart, an E for Engineer guy...a M for math..oh yeah he appreciates it!
4. Putting your boobs in his face while in bed is a must! I just threw that one in there because I like it!!
5. Buying new panties and is a must, but not only do you have to buy them but you have to call or text your man and tell him "guess what I did today" Got some new sexy panties...yep works every time...
Now I would tell you the rest of my rules of engagment but then I would be giving away all of my Southern country girl secrets! Enjoy!

Tubing

This Monday I am going to the salt river. I just want you to know that this can't be anything but trouble seeing how I am going with my skinny dipping partner in crime. I am not sure if any of you know about this phenomeon that I like to call "Drink with my girlfriend and then my close fall off", but it seems that everytime I see her this happens.

I have decided that I am going to pase myself down the river because I am not really fond of public nudity when it comes to myself. I have warned "Engineer guy" that We are going to the river and I can't promise that I will keep all my clothes on but that I will try. Having said that he made me sign a release that I will not get upset if he takes his clothes off...shit fire man Iwant him to be the pool boy walk around naked all the time, let us feel him up, treat him like a sexual chocolate object and bring us cocktails.

What is so wrong with that?

He put's tomato's in the salad that is how much he loves me....

No worry peeps, it is still I (was that a grammical statement or what?). No, I am not trusting my words so it is still me (AKA Marverick) That darn girl will away's remain the same unprofessionally professional that we all know is still a virgin( if my father is reading this), has a child...That kiddo is great ,but( I am still a virgin if my father is reading this ...and father and I wasn't skinny dipping the other night and no I did not use bad words and okay one time I froze my boyfriends penis but I am a nurse come on let me live a little on the egde. WE WERE JUST HOLDING HANDS I SWEAR!) I will still be writing about all my boyfriend"s great qualities until he finds me out..that I am AkA Maverick (code name for just a little crazy but not stalker crazy). Okay, I think he know's I'm Maverick because we talked about feelings the other day and let's just say that it was me telling all the feelings...porque I have gone all the way soft...what is wrong with me??


That is right I have changed my picture, porque Jenny is prettier... (sound it out like a countriey girl would say it.) Here is how my day when..cause I know all of you are just sooo excited to read what is happening in my world with all my stripping in my mind, inappropriate talks with co-workers...No, my days of Dr. Goldenrod, my days of flirting, or pulling anyone into the clean utility are far far behind me or anyone else except my girlfriend Vasit then it is a go, proque she's not the happy type, "if ya get me?" I aked my boyfriend why he loves me everyday? Today, he loves me so he put tomato's in the salad even thought he doesn't particularly like them...he make dinner for me and I got to his house late..it was still warm kept nice an anit-bactericidic -a- free as was humanly possible. (I think I made that work up but Sh#@ fire it is my blog and I am allowed to make mistake, and yep still a virgin father!)

I hope my nose doesn't start growing or the people I work with might think something is wrong with me (there is but they can't see it cause it is my mind), but my boyfriend really is so soooo good to me it would be a shame to not let people know...know how just very amazing I think he is... SUPER,..... We have debates about water... he swears they don't use bacteria to clean our drinking water (My argue ment that bottled water is not regulated by the FDA) Honey... you won because I could not prove my theory and I will let it die, it front of all the world... SWEARTHEART YOU WERE RIGHT AND I WAS WRONG..see my love issue layed to rest for ever utill you drink and then you might say you can pass the NCLEX and guess what I will believe you then too....that is how much I love you..