Will I ever get it right??

I'm on a mission now this is not any mission it is like FBI style...
Seriously, I know you all can keep a secret I am a former agent of sorts..
Now I can't tell you what agency I worked for because then I would compromise my famliy..
But...it was serious
Think like Borne Ultimatum...Jason Borne but I'm a girl...
I'm on a mission to find love and the body I had last year...
So, like anything in my life I am taking it balls to the wall..
I need a plan that is what I need...
for this plan I must like figure out what it is that I want from a man?
I would like just the basics that every other woman wants..
Friendship...
Lots of affection...
and well that about sums it up..
well there is more I know but since I haven't had either of these is a very long time they are the ones that come to mind...
as for the work out and body I am working on it daily...
I even did handstands today now that it commitment...
More on scoring later and that former agency that I worked for...

Happy Holidays...What am I thankful for...

Happy Holidays all...
I will get back to my research for blogging later. For now I would like to say the things that I am thankful for even though this has been a very hard year for me. I say good riddens to 2008.
I am thankful for...
2009 and new beginnings...
I am thankful for my friends that have loved me even if...
I am thankful for a child that is amazing...
I am thankful for all of my blogger friends that help me keep my fame in my mind...
I am thankful for food on the table and for a father that believes in me no matter what...
I am thankful that I have a good relationship with my sister no matter how many fights we have gotten into over the years..We still love each other no matter what..
I am thankful that my brother-in-law came back from Iraq safe and sound. He made it though OCS yeah!!!

Research number 2...

Since I am not working at this time I have decided that I need to do research just like real writers..
When Engineer guy's roommate left to live with his soon to be wife he left his playboys...So I heard that that playboy has interesting editorials, but mostly I saw boobage and vagignass... Now I asked myself what is normal? hair or no hair??Then I asked myself how much sex is normal a week when you are in a monogamous relationship?? Once a week? twice a week or 3 times a week?? I don't know you tell me??

Research.....

Research in the name of love...
I have always been the girl to go to when having relationship problems. Why my friends think that I am worthy I have no idea??... especially since I am not about feelings when it comes to my own relationships. It seems that everyone is having relationship problems not only my girlfriends, but my guy friends as well. Let's take for instance Millionaire Parents guy...Now this guy is 25 yrs old, he is a paramedic firefighter and Captain of his crew. He is the the youngest Captain in the valley of the sun, and he is a loyal friend. His parents are millionaires but he is not snobby in the least and a very generous, kind , funny smart guy, so why can't he find love in the valley? He calls me to tell me about his resent break-up seems that the girl that he was dating and living with after only 7 months has a jealousy problem? Hu?? Seems that this girl is jealous of his past relationships? Run that by me again? She's jealous of your last girlfriend that you had before you knew her because you went on a cruise to Alaska? How is that even possible??She tells him that she doesn't like it when he hangs out with the gang at bars...Hu? What is wrong with her I wonder?? Here is this guy, wonderful sure he has some issues...He's not perfect but he is a great person...He asks me what I think?? Oh yeah right like I am the person to be asking relationship advise because I am so good at them right?? Well I can say that I wasn't jealous of Engineer guy's past girlfriends..Now I don't think it is healthy to talk about past possible loves, but there is no use in being jealous of something that was. He asks me what I loved so much about Engineer guy??Great he wants to talk about feelings...I tell him I knew that I would love him and he would love me that night he had me over to his house for dinner and ummmm dessert. It is hard to explain chemistry...it just is and well I am a hard nut to crack. Chemistry is difficult to find, I am very passionate about him. He is very smart, analytical and mathematical... things that I couldn't even fathom he is capable of. So, I guess opposites attract, I am la la girl boobs out at the parties we attended whilst he stood in the back round and allowed me to receive the thunder...I am very passionate about medicine...I live it, I breath it, and I am very passionate about my friendships. I guess that when two people love each other as much as I love Engineer guy you want to hold on to the very last thread, and I am not a quitter. It seems that for a while we were playing for different football teams...he for West Virgina and I for SMU...I told Millionaire parents guy that we only have one life...and life is way to precious to short to give up on love. What I have with Engineer guy is magical and what I love about him is simply him. We have to write our own stories, now that story can be one of love, friendship, amazing sex & intimacy with hope, loyalty and beauty a beauty that I have never felt before or it can be pessimistic. I choose beauty, so relationships are works in progress. With great love can be great pain but if it is worth it the pay off can be so rewarding. Now I know that I have been very cheesy in this blog but sometimes you just have to get it out. Jeff...She's out there you'll find her and when you do it won't be perfect but it will be beautiful...

And these are the days of my life...

Now that I have your attention. I felt like looking a a ball today so I pulled this pic out of my personal stash. Now I wish that this ball was shaven because I really can only appreciate balls that are smooth but beggars can't be choosers.

On my way home alive

I'm on my way home...
check it with you later stay tuned to see pics of the first wives club and hear the tatered stories of my travel!!!

Sorry for my absents...

After almost dieing from a GI bleed last week I think I have an ulcer. Go figure I would die from a GI bleed and not something more dramatic like gun shot wound. Needless to say I had to see the Dr. when I was with my high school friend that I haven't seen for 17 years... and and admit that the Dr. indeed violated me and put his finger in my tail. At least I got some pain medicine. The last time I was violated by my GYNO at the tender age of 23 yrs. old I asked my Ma is that normal for the GYNO to put his finger in my tail and she said yes...I saw no benefit from this and He didn't even offer me a shot of tequila. What kind of freaky stuff she is accustom to... I don't know because when I was older and asked my GYNO if this was normal during a paps smear HE stated and I quote, " I generally only use that tech for my geriatric patients" WHAT? Violated...With KY jelly at only 23. Not surprising that I know many different uses for KY jelly than the intended use.
If I ever felt like an old lady it is right now. I have been drinking down Milanta and eating Pilosec. Now there has to be something wrong with that picture. Hopefully it is just H-pilor that I might of picked up from Mexico since I find myself a worldly traveler since I have still not gotten a Job...Oh it is in the works...I'm intently looking for a sexologist job right now I know it is right the coroner i can feel it...No pun intended!

For my people

My New Job...

Whilst watching the boob tube the other day I noticed a job that I thought I'm a nurse I could totally do that. Being a nurse could be part of my credentials plus like I could like get a couple of written statements with signatures from the past Loves of my life "at the time Guy".
Sexologist...
It is not what your thinking...
It would be helping couples gain a better sense of intimacy...
and I would tell the wife to definitely flash boobage way more..
I got tons of Ideas..
It will be like I am always the brides maid and never the bride..
but tons of funnnnn!!

Hey I am sending you all a shout out from San Diego. I have been letting the wind blow through my hair, eating all the bad food that I can get my hands on. Whilst walking though the San Diego Zoo I was reminded that last week I was trying so hard to make sure I worked out that I actually fell asleep on the elliptical. I know I was kind of in shock too but let me tell you what muscle memory can do for you. You can actually fall asleep with your feet and legs still moving. I thought I might call Guinness world record to see if anyone has attempted that fate. Let me know if you have a clue. Guinness here I come!!

In the name of love..

Because I am famous in my mind I thought it appropriate to reveal some know or unknown facts about myself therefor sealing my fate as a famous person if it only in my mind.

1. My left big toe nail fell off. Due to my running the trails at a speed of a snail. My toenail bruised and then proceeded to pull away from me.
2. I am traumatized by my big toe nail situation. I only pulled the last of it off the other day and I have worn sock ever since to hide my ugly toe. I can't even get a pedicure and that is almost against the law.
3. Sometimes I obsess about the wrinkles that might appear on my forehead. I try and not wrinkle my eyes because I want to keep that fresh look about me. Aging is not a process that I am taking a liking to.
4. No secrete to thoughts that no me I think my boobs are my best physical feature and a source of many of my blog writings.
5. To my greatest fear I have become a lot like my mother. My mother has a pill for everything. So, I have a pill for everything. I take every know vitamin known to man. Got gas I got Beanno. Constipated I have fiber pills. Still constipated I got gloves and JY jelly for lubing you up. I have plenty of practice since I have been working as a nurse. Got heart burn I got zantac. Got nausea I got phenergan. Have asthma I have an albuterol inhaler.... and so on and so forth.
6. I can never shut off the nurse in me. Stub your toe I will baby you for comfort.
7. My family thinks sending me naked pictures of old women and men is funny. Why just this morning my cousin "big muscle guy" sent me a text wishing me a happy Halloween with an old naked woman. What I don't get is that this woman actually let someone take a picture of her. Maybe she wanted to be noticed for her wrinkled up body. Boobs deflated something to look forward to.
8. I am directionally challenged I get lost even with directions in front of me. I think that it is genetic.
9. My hair is my nemisis and it has been every color on the wheel. At times it has turned against me for coloring it so much.
10. I live by the Catholic girl code, if I don't remember it never happen.
11. In the name love I often have to suck it up and take one for the team. That includes putting myself in uncomfortable and unfamilar places for the people that I love. I know I am a marder. Usually there is nothing that I wouldn't do for my friends and that includes sticking my fingers into places for the sake of my hipocratic oath that I took the very day I became a nurse.
sincerely
Darn girl