Don't be Rediculous...

I have decided that I am going to write a book. What is the book going to be about you ask since I write these rediculous stories about my life and sexually chocolate times??
I don't know exactly, I could write a book on how to catch a man, but I think that one has been done a million times over.

I might write a book on how to live your whole life with out knowing how to write perfect grammer or spell the English language. I'm thinking that idea might be original, but boring.

I could write about my adventures in dating land, except I really have only gone on a handful of losser dates and have really only been in relationships.

Maybe I could write a novel on staying in a relationship for5 yrs and then leave and move on to greener fields. I might be able to pull that off. I am certain that since I only have had one 5 yr relationship I'm probably not an expert by any stretch of the imagination.

Well, I guess untill I figure it out I will continue to write my blogs...after all I do enjoy grossing out my peers and telling all the little dirty stories that flood my mind...
and there is the peni and vagina stories that I know you all can't live without...why the other day I was talking to the secretary and he tells me that not only do vaginias come in differnt sizes (who knew?) they also have different textures...I can't even tell you what I was thinking...
cheers!

I have not been able...

I have not been able to talk myself into going to the porno store, and Engineer guy had been out of town for a week...Darn...
So, while he was gone I did talk myself into going to "Fredricks of Hollywood" for some much needed sex linzuray... for this I might of had some kind of heart palpations...Why you ask?..do I have peni in my had on a daily basis..but have trouble expressing sexuallity??...I can only contribute it to one thing...I was raised Catholic...
and I say linzuray cause well it was sexy and somewhat revealing...and it made me talk like some old rich woman...but who is really paying attention to how I talk anywho..down to the dirt...
Yes, when he came home he was surprised..So, surprised he had no clue as to why I had on his long sleeve shirt on..and high heels...DUHHHHHH
I have to give it up to Engineer guy!! He is the champ...Once I pointed him into the right direction he took over like a champ...
To all of my male readers...Don't miss the suttle signs... to the women out there hit them over the head they will get it!!!

To go to the porn shop or not??

Tisk task... Engineer guy thinks it would be funny to take me to the local porn shop and have my name paged over head so that all of the porn shopper's would know that I was interested in the magic bullet 3000 the 3rd addition.
Now, I am no stranger to many a peni since I see them all the time at work..
(I swear father this is only for medicinal reasons)
*disclaimer* I can't believe that I went to school to endless amounts and sizes of peni and vajignias...and by size I mean size... who new that some people would have cavernous vajignias or turtle peni but it is the dirty truth that I must somehow make right in my mind..;
Back to the porno store, I have never been to one of these enterprises and that is why he thinks it would be funny to go and have the store clerk give the ins-in outs of their new and improved D word... I can't even type it that is how embarrassed I would be...
How ever I told him I would go only if I had several glasses of wine and a cheerleader team coaching me though the experience...
Why with all that I see you think I could handle an assortment of extra curricular devises, but the truth is I like Engineer guy's channel changer just fine...and sometimes he even manages to make it vibrate!!!