Saturday, March 08, 2008

Things to ponder?

vibrator1. My mother found my sister's vibrator in the closet when she was helping my sister move!
2. My sister who is married with 4 children, Called me and said," I can't believe Mom found my vibrator...She acted like she didn't see it , but she might-as-well have hit me with the bible"
3. I told my sister to remember the Catholic Girl Code, If you act like it didn't happen then It really didn't happen.
4. Which brings me to my next fun fact to ponder....Why ohhhh why do men stick 60 watt light bulbs up there back end?? I mean really don't they worry that the light bulb might break??
5. They come to the ER and they know that we are going to do an x-ray they only admit to it after there is proof?? More things to ponder...
6. When I was 23 yrs old I went to the GYNO for my yearly pap smear. I always choose a male Dr. that is the oldest fart I can find so that he is conservative... and has probably seen it all but is past his time of caring to much about seeing everything... and I hate the boob checks...
Disclaimer: I think it is very important to check your breast every month...
But doesn't is seem funny to have your Dr. who reminds you of your grandfather checking your boobs..."I was like is it normal for the Dr. to pinch and squeeze your nipples??" My mother assured me that it was part of the exam...
7. I was really dumb back then and I thought that it was normal...Then then He asked into his office and proceeded to ask me if I was being safe... and if I had put anything up in my stuff that should have not been there???
8. What??? I had no idea what he was talking about and I turned bright red with embarrassment..
9. Next came the exam....Gosh I was so dumb
10. He had the nerve to stick his finger in my back end...
11. Again I asked my mother if this was normal?? and she said yes....
12. And you wonder what is wrong with me???


10 comments:

That girl said...

I love number 3....the catholic girl code "if you act like it didn't happen, then it really didn't happen" --- lol.

Sooo true.

Michael C said...

I get nervous when I hear the words 'doctor' and 'stick' used in the same sentence. I think next time I hear it I'm going to translate the Catholic girl code into Catholic male...
;-)

flea said...

hahaha i was laughing and noding thru this entire post! and I also loved #3 quote, it's definetely so true!!

Just telling it like it is said...

That girl... how do you ever think I made it though all thoughts "Hale Marys" with-out being on my knees constantly...Oh how my knees ached after a day of confession..Seems like I was there all the time....
and I have to tell you that I am what they called directionallly challenged it is hard for me to get anywhere without getting lost..So, it is entirely possible that I don't remember all the bad stuff that I might have done...makes sence to me in my head...Untill then let the nuns slap my hands with rulers.

Micheal: You have had plenty of reasons to be afraid...at least I din't slap on a glove and told you to bend over...Plus what do Dr. do that anyway...i know it is the best part of their job...
and I well assure them of each time we check for blood in the stool...yep I took a pole...1 task in nursing...finger up the bum...

Flea; Thanks for stoping by...I'm glad you enjoyed my humour...and The Catholic code have been used for centuries...How do you think the world got the way it is....
Oh it never happened I swear..

Slick said...

Ha...too freakin' funny!

By the way, I've already scheduled your next Dr's appointment here in Georgia.

*~*Cece*~* said...

I've never had a doctor stick anything up my back end! Yikes!

I did think it was odd that when I was on the Depo shot my doctor had me drop my pants and would SMACK my ass before he gave me the shot! I was like MOTHER FUC.....!

You reminded me, its been a couple of years since I've had a pap. Oy.

La Cremiere (aka Helene) said...

LOL! This is good stuff. I hate the pep smear test, it's awful, but yeah, my gyneco is an old man, not so scary. I was lucky enough not to have a finger up my ass but hey maybe they do things differently here...

Queen of the Mayhem said...

I used to (and sometimes still) live by the code...it's the only way to survive!

I have NEVER had the ass test at the gyno......just sayin!

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Just telling it like it is said...

Celular welcome...I only read and understand english although some times I do have to speak a little spanish at work however broken it may sound...stop by anytime for my crazy stories