Ringing in the New Year...

The wind break...what is wrong with that??

So, one morning whilst minding my own business at the crack ass of dawn, I was on my way to work when out of no where a Scooby do van hit me from behind and then ran...a true hit and run and it happened to me…me can you believe??? me

I know right, I was in shock I was in dismay...I did not know what to do...

Half of my bumper was hanging off on the passengers side...thank goodness I was okay because lord knows you must be dieing and going into cardiac arrest if ur going to call in to work...

I'll just take an Advil and forget about the whip bash and headache for right now...
I warn my fellow worker that I am doped up on the Advil...I might not be thinking correctly...I might not be on my how do we say … P’s & Q’s or what have not…

So, for a week or so I drive around with a wind break...my best friend says Amies...you have to get that bumper fixed, your driving much slower due to the wind break in the back...that flapper has to go...Your car is not I repeat not a bat-mobile. What do you think that your are a pilot?...breaking the wing to help you to stop at the red light...
I say how do I fix the bumper if I have no money due to the peanuts that I work for....I do not think that the mechanics will take peanuts for payment...he says lets get out the super glue...

Okay then…we get out the super, super glue and a bolt or two and now my bumper is no longer a wind breaker…why I can almost not tell I was hit from behind by a Scooby do van…or maybe just a little….

Meeting the Parents...

Awe...he's so sweet...

I of coarse can't wait till Christmas to give Engineer Guy his presents because I think I am clever and I get him a Dane Cook CD that cracks me up...can you tell I love to laugh?...entertain myself as you will...

I haven’t see him much in the past couple of weeks and I am meeting his parent's for the first time on Christmas...What??"Eyes Open Wide" and I am not talking about the movie or is that "Eyes Wide Open Shut"

His Mother is Grammar genius and well we all know that that is not my strong point...I'm a lover not a speller...I am nervous...hey I talk to people all the time...didn't I go to his work party and say, "Okay the party can start now I am here"... Why am I so nervous...I do not think she bites....She did one time tell him to suck it up and quit playing football like a pussy...She can be as mean as my mother; so I should be trained right?

Maybe I should talk to her about the Dane Cook CD where he say..."How to make a statement at a party, go to the coat room...Shit on or around the coats then walk out. After walking out make a statement, OMG I think someone shit on the coats...OMG did someone shit on my coat; it smells like shit in here...then gracefully leave...you'll be the talk of the party and no one will know it is you"

What do you think?? Will it go over well???

We give each other only one present and I only see him for a couple of minutes I am working a lot this week...I open his card whilst the card sings We wish you a Merry Christmas in Spanish...it is a Massage...awe...so thoughtful full

I wonder does the massage have a happy ending? I might need a little release after meeting the parents...

The Boyfriend sent this to me, I thought I would share...is he trying to tell me something??

Ingredients:1 bottle Jose Cuervo Tequila
1 cup of water
1 tsp baking soda
1 cup of sugar
1 tsp salt1 cup of brown sugar
Lemon juice
4 large eggs
1 cup nuts
2 cups of dried fruit

Instructions:Sample the Cuervo to check quality. Take a large bowl, check the Cuervoagain to be sure it is of the highest quality, pour one level cup and drink.Turn on the electric mixer. Beat one cup of butter in a large fluffybowl. Add one teaspoon of sugar. Beat again. At this point it's best to makesure the Cuervo is sill OK, try another cup just in case.Turn off the mixerer thingy. Break 2 leggs and add to the bowl and chuckin the cup of dried fruit, Pick the frigging fruit off floor. Mix on the turner. If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaterers just pry it loose with a drewscriver. Sample the Cuervo to check for tonsisticity. Next, sift two cups of salt, or something. Check the Jose Cuervo. Now shift the lemon juice and strain your nuts. Add one table. Add aspoon of sugar, or somefink. Whatever you can find. Greash the oven. Turn the cake tin 360 degrees and try not to fall over. Don't forget to beat off the turner. Finally, throw the bowl through the drink, finish the Cose Juervo and make sure to put the stove in the dishwasher.
CHERRY MISTMAS!

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A Funny

The Talk

It seems like yesterday that I was holding my little 6lbs 10 oz. baby in my arms...Boiling his nipples until he was a year old (excessive I know I was young) Carrying him until he was 5 yrs. old whilst his feet dragged the ground..and now well he is almost 12 yrs. Old, taller than me and talks like a man...God help me...Why do I have to be a nurse...I have to arm him with information that I think that his 12 yr old mind can't handle...but by way of being his mother and preparing him for adulthood (they never tell you that it will be so painful to see them grow up to be vibrant, strong young men) I must do. Because sometimes knowing too much is a curse, I know that even though I do not want to tell him about phyliss, gondaloria, chlymidious or the worst of them all the hivv...I must arm him, or at least make him aware of what lurks out in the no mans land. Hence we have the talk...
He says mom please do we have to talk about this?? He is all red and blotchy...I say yes son with the medical dictionary by my side and a condom. I say open it up...he looks at me as if I am crazy...but I know that kids his age are experimenting and I am worried for his safety...As he pulls the condom out he is wondering what the H E double hockey sticks I am about to tell him...I keep it medical, showing him pictures of STD's making him aware of what is out there...I tell him that if he chooses to do "something" he should always be armed like a soldier and that really "something" should only be shared with someone very special, someone that he is married to... I let him know that I do not approve of casual "somethings" but if he chooses to do "something" that he should always be armed...he says okay okay mom enough I know I know...but I know that he does not know...then he tells me mom a girl at school said she wants to go with me...you know circle yes or no kind of thing...I say what did you say...he says my heart hurt to tell her no...I said why did you tell her no...."grasp, my heart is hurting right now as I gulp for air" He says, well I heard your voice in my head saying that it's not time, I'm not ready for that kind of thing."Me holding back the tears, and my heart full of pride" I say son I am proud of you, you made the right choice. Wow, I must be doing something right...I mean I know that I am going to mess him up somehow don't we all, but darn that kid...he is just the best of the best... and the torcher continues as I arm him with all kinds of information to help him become a successful productive adult. I have no worries though I know that above and beyond all… he will have the same out look on life as I have “Faith, Truth, Honor and Never Judging Others”...these are the things that are important in life...

The Un-Official.... Official First Fight.....

So, I guess it had to happen sometime right...I mean I mean ... could we really get through like 6 months without a fight...or really a unofficial fight...cause I am not sure that you can really call it a fight but let me just tell you...I am going to tease him for the rest of his natural born life...because because well...I just can...

Here is how it starts...Its Engineer guy's birthday...So, I take him to a nice dinner..susi and sake...ummmmm yeah sake is the key word here...He drinks 3 sake/ beers...

I am telling one of my fabulous stories...hey...(they are interesting)...and I say the word "FUNNER"...OMG what is he the Grammer Police...
He says honey.."FUNNER" is not a word...

Wait a min. arn't we out at dinner where you are drinking having a good time and you stop by correcting my grammer???? What are we like in 3rd grade...what is it against the law to talk country...hey my family is from Arkansas...what do you want...and up tight crachity old English Major...
I make it through dinner still trying to make his day special...he's 29...what do boys know anyway?? ...but then then...we go back to his place where we are hanging out with his roomate (who is a hoot..funny, this guys a sweetheart) and he brings up the fact that I say the word "FUNNER" ...Roomate guy (by the way these guys are from West Virgina how much more red-neck does it get?) says what are you the grammer police...

I sat good night to roomate guy and go to bed...Engineer guy comes in the room and says, I know that your mad at me I am sorry...I was...ummm it is a bad habit that I learn from my Mother...I did not mean in any way to make you feel as if I thought you were dumb....I'm really sorry...I turn over...he says with his breath smelling of sake and beer...I really care about you...I do...(are we talking feeling here cause you know I am not about feelings)
I say...so tonight was not as funner as last night....
and that was it...the unofficial official fight.....

Proof that I was in love with aqua net hair spray

I can't believe that I am putting out this pic...due to the very nature of mybig hair...but I did write that I would share it with blog land when I could scan it...okay so what was I thinking...blue eye shadow...and ahhhhh what about thoughs eye brows... you got to love the fact that no holds bar I must have had the biggest hair in high school...I think I might have won a metal for it...enjoy the laugh people

Saw This Cracked Me up....enjoy

The Weekend Christmas Party

It was the Christmas party this weekend, sometimes I wonder how Engineer guy can handle my personality...
I walk in and say...to people I hardly know...okay the party can start now...
Wine.... can I say I drank a lot of wine...

It was fun we laughed...we talked...okay I mostly talked...what's wrong with me...I can't ever turn it off...

Engineer guy...my sweet...I'm sorry about spilling the wine on your nice pink shirt...(he could pull it off...the pink shirt I mean)...no I wanted him to pull it off..tehee...just a joke...I make myself laugh at times...very easy to amuse myself...

Oh yeah and for spilling wine in the elevator...it could happen..it really could