Random thoughts for the day...and some teaching

Again I find myself driving across country with my son in order to torture him by making him spend time with his clingy, overly obsessive, I my Gosh your trying to kill me by ways of hurting his self (it was only a scratch, but I almost had a meld down), Mother that might possibly mess him up for any future relationships with a normal woman, but I find that I can't help myself.
We will be driving down the road having a pleasent talk about the War in Iraq and find myself busting out the, " all of a sudden a case of herpes let's get out the medical dictonary".
He roles his eyes and says I pinky swear....always every time I will be safe if I choose to break your heart and to the deed before marriage.
You might be asking your self why I am so crazed at making sure his aware of all the STD dangers out there?...it is simple. I can't tell you how many times I have had that sweet innocent looking 15 yr. girl come into the ER explain that they are having severe pain "down there"...I look and tell the Dr. it's not a UTI it's in fact herpes. She then tells me how can that be? I have only been with one person...she might even say I have always been safe...and then I tell her...Sweetheart...
One can get herpes even if the other person doesn't have a break out and even if you use a condom. Herpes hides in the neural tissues (spinal cord) and unfortunately the virus shead. I tell her this only after I have gloved up to the nines...
Now that I have put the fear in everyone...
My dog sweet little girlly dog is humping any avaliable arm...
She is known for darngirl's dog sir humps a lot.
Go figure? trying to save on teenage boy from heartache and it is my 4 lb. pooch who is the real problem. I think we are going to have to send her to reform school, until then thank goodness there is wine.

A dead body I swear...Maybe

Engineer guy has a dead body in his trash I swear...
The smell emanating from the trash a long with a slight sound of movement from possible maggot activity, and not to mention the black cloud illuminating from the trash could be nothing else...
My nose hairs were burned from the aroma that could only be described as nothing else other than a dead rotting body. I assumed that 100,000 maggots helping further the decomposition was the slight rustling sound I heard as I entered his house. I asked him who he killed and why would he leave the body in the trash when he knows that I watch the New Detective files daily. I wondered to myself if this is someone I wanted to hang-out with? Then I remembered all the sexual satisfaction that he gave me then I decided right there to turn the other cheek...I'm not perfect myself and who am I to judge anyway?

Two exams in one week...man I'm getting lucky

I'll give you the low down on my general Doc Vag exam later this story is much better...
I admit it I called Doctor Goldenrod this week. I had a week moment of saddness over Engineer guy and He is the only one that really makes me feel better.

I lied and said that it was time for my yearly pap (because it was on my mind ). I knew that he would be all in....He was glad to come over and assist me with a thin prep. Now this is what I call service. I asked him if he brought his Doctor bag because we might need to play Doctor and Nurse. I'll be the Doctor and he will be the nurse. Oh it is not the first time we have played this so he got the hint. Now I have assisted him with many vaginal exams at work but this will be the first time that I am on the other end of the stick.

the best nail job ever....

Sorry for my absents I have been spending summer fun on road trips from H-E - double hockey sticks... but in order to maintain my sanity after consuming an enormous amount alcohol (no worries I only drove the golf cart), several vicodin and to top it off I was molested from my general doctor for my yearly pap (that is a story itself) ...having said that I promise to catch up and I hope you enjoy the picture of my newly done nails!
Sincerely, Darn girl