Pornos and Vibrators

  Everyone that really knows me knows that I love a good porn like ever red blooded person on earth...but mine porn is not really your typical porn...No I don't like toes, little people's porn or people urinating on each other. My porn consists of UFC fighting... Where sweaty highly testosterone filled muscular men choke each other out for a TKO for a knock out causing the knocked out opponent falling down to his demise with crazy looking eyes  ... I know who else finds this strange, phenomenon highly sexually stimulating?   Panties dropper...Oh how  I love Rich Franklin he's married to me don't ya know? He might not know but I know that's all that matters.

Vibrators for the life of me I can't understand why women uses vibrators. I mean I can see that it can be phalically stimulating because you can pick your own size, shape and motion in the ocean. I just can't for the life of me find anything stimulating about a plastic or silicone penis...there is no abs connected to it there is no sexually stimulating talk attached to it, there is no telling it no...and there is no make- up sex. I guess I'm just old fashion I need someone to fight with occasionally when i have PMS. Nothing better than a good old fashion penis and balls...
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Attention Whore....

I might just be a attention Whore but who isn't right? I mean really it can't just be me or can it be? I was just talking to my best friend Marc (who has been really good to me in my time of need) and we where laughing about how much we have been texting daily these past couple of weeks. He's really so sweet.. poor guy has been a life line to me.. willing to talk about crazy and at all times of day. I think it is due to my chronic need for attention right now and to have him talk me off the ledge when I feel sad. I really don't know why I feel sad at times I should be mad but I'm really not ...just hated to loose the friendship if you want to know the truth about it. Anywho, He has been patient and kind in a way that it is nice to know that you have friends out there that just love you for you and all the madness that follows you like a Ogar clawing on your back with it nasty jacked up nails.
Our topic of the day: College and how I would flirt shamelessly with my professors if I had a really hard class. I'm telling you I was terrible. I used to sit in the front row and wear tight T-shirts. I particularly had these 2 professors that I had crushes on because they were 1: Dr. Sexton (I know the name in itself) My Anatomy teacher. I once held a plastic model of a heart up to my boobs and asked him as I pointed to the model "is this is the intervecular groove" Needless to say I got a B+ in both my classes...oh yeah it worked. 2: My Microbiology professor Dr. Cho. Oh how I loved his knowledge as I was separating the bacteria that I grew from my partners Belly button. I could pick his brain for hours. I even stopped eating red meat for a while although I'm not sure why it wasn't like he was a vegetarian. He would tell us stories of growing up in China and the water bacteria problems...Man I was hooked line and sinker...
Yeah I know your shock not me right never...Attention whore Please...

Bang Bang....

Like my Gun...zzzz. So, you all know that I am not seeing crazy guy anymore and it is for the best trust me...oh it hurts don't get me wrong but you can't dwell on it forever. I look at it like this I had the time I had with him; it was fun and wonderous. Bless to have it and blessed to be alive.

 When it rains it pours as fate would have it before Christmas Logistic guy got in touch with me; I haven't heard or seen him for a year. Coarse I didn't have time to see him with the holidays and then there was the crazy guy. Anywho since I broke things off with Crazy I decided to reach out to my friends (a girl can't get to far from her guys friends even though I tried to cut them off) and hang out with them...Harmless shamelss flirting but nothing to scandilous. I  went to his house all boobielicious the other day and it was like old times. He was so tired but tried to stay up as long as he could to talk with me. The thing about him is that he just rolls with the punches. We laughed I was dressed in my 80's clothes...fun times. He showed me his guns...and then no...I didn't show him mine....I took this pic just for all my peeps in blog land. So, enjoy...Next time we go to the range to shoot then guns...and no I'm not going to let him shoot me just yet anyway....Muahhh
Bang Bang

I couln't resist....

Charlie say goodbye to the boys....

Tuesday I am taking my precious beloved Charlie to the Vet to have his balls removed. Now I feel really badly and even more so because he loves humping his stuffed animals...he loves humping the air (what can I say he talented)...he loves trying to hump anyone's leg...of coarse my female dog humps more than he does.  So, I say farewell to my dogs boys...I think we are going to ask for them to we can have a ceremony in the back yard because my son is a little traumatized. He can fathom having Charlies balls gone forever...and I have to admit...a little of me will die that day too...as one loss for man kind...

The Neighbors

I live next to the nicest neighbors they are always having a cook-over and inviting me and my son over for "pool-time". Okay for those of you that don't know my son is like 6'0ft tall and about a 180 lbs. So, can he really fit in the pool?... We pretend... He sits in it for a joke and splashes water onto his face...

Well, the other day the Neighbor told us to come over after he had been drinking all day and sitting in the kiddie pool...He said, "Yeah I'm on vacation I haven't left the kiddie pool all day, but no worries I bought a chlorine dispenser for the pool so I could pee in it and the kids could still play in it. Just trying to save water".

And their you go ...You know your a redneck if....

Happy New Year!!!!

 For starters a pic of my boobs! I can't believe that it has been almost 5 yrs. since I started this blog. I was right out of nursing school and living the fast life of saving lives and riding on the fire-truck. Oh how I miss thoughts early days when I didn't know how much I would be effected by my patients. They have changed me for the good!
This year has been riddled with highs and lows, but I can't say that I would change anything. So, cheers to another kick ass year!

Merry Christmas to all of my blogger people...love ya!!!

Now I love Playboy like everybody does...I even used to play the Yes No Yes, No game with my friend Mike....We would look at the girls and decide if they were hot enough for him to sleep with, but I can't believe Heff's getting married to a woman that is 60 yrs. younger than him! She's 24 yrs. old beside the whole money deal- (Which I could never do no matter if you could give me Rome) I think we all know here what motivates me and it is not the size of a man's wallet...Hey, I'm shallow just not in that way!  Eeeeewwwww she has to have sex with his wrinkly arse not to mention grey saggy balls! Butt I am not a hater so good luck to the old man and the playmate! 

Oh High School....

So, after attending my son high school basket ball game... all I could think of is old times at Marshall High.Thoughts were the days of tight Guess Jeans, big hair and blue eye shadow. Oh how much fun I had in high school with my side kicks Staci and Necee. We strutted our stuff thought the old halls and we really thought we were the S%$#.  Yes, even then I coveted my boobs and flat tummy.

So, feeling a little old I called one of my very best friends to take me out on the town and talk of nothing but old times and laugh the night away...Good times I will never forget and now I get to relive some of that though my son...Man is he big!

Come Home with Your Sheild or on it.....

I can't explain what it is like to be the mother of an amazing talented child. Last nights game was awesome although we lost. My son made a couple of saves but this team played dirty. He called me late last night...
"Mom, I failed and froze and didn't do as good as I can."
As my heart started to bleed right then and there I said Son in life you will have times of failure, but that doesn't mean that you give up. It takes failure to appreciate and attain success. I said you are part of a team, you all have to work together for a common goal...You nee4d to bring your teammates up when you feel like they are giving up. I told him remember in tract when your best friend helped and pushed to to get faster? He says "yes" well that is what you have to do when your team is in practice. Believe in them and believe in yourself because I do and you could never fail me. His best is good enough for me. I then told him he comes from greatness and that he will succeed this is only the first game. I told him to be a Spartan come home with your shield or on it!
I love that kid!

Damn Stalker...

Okay I am aware that my P is platinum but this is ridiculous....
Stalker guy has been calling me all weekend long morning, noon and night..
I'm like dude I really do work, I have things to do...
1. I have got to watch Jersey Shore re-runs..
2. I have to get my fix on crime solving techniques on ID TV
3. I have to look at funny videos on Break...
4. I need to lounge on the couch for most of the day...
5. i need to read my blogger friends and write my blog..
I'm really really busy...
I get a million text first it's the guilt trip...
Then it is the mad thing...
Then it's the plea to try and pull at my heart strings...
I don't do head games...I am just not effected...
I have no feelings...so I wrote him back finally and said...
I don't want to talk about feelings I don't owe you anything and your not my boyfriend.
Damn stalkers doesn't he know I can't be pierced with words especially when I am given the guilt trip..
Doesn't he know I am Mexican and we thrive on guilt trips...
The perils of dating...I really don't like it...
I decided to x out fire guy...not cute enough and too cocky
I'm not sure about blue eyes...
but the Marine is still in the running....

Busting out Grandma....

Sorry I have been a way for a while it is not as if I haven't needed you all or missed you terribly, but my Grandma was sick....

She is my Legacy and one of the Strongest woman I know. No really she is a woman of steal...coming to this country...at 15 yrs. old. Living through incredible losses...worked her whole life...

Last week I got a call from my Aunt and off we were " Road Trip". By the time I got there at 6:00 am she had been shocked with 260 J. My heart raced, I couldn't believe that my Grandmother had been shocked and escaped death. Her pacemaker (AV node, SA node failing). Pretty common really I have seen it many times and I have even paced someone externally in the ER. So, my mind was racing of all the things that can go wrong I gave thoughts ICU nurses a run for their money and they totally hated me been the task master but come on this is my grandmother that we are talking about with out her I would not be. She had a pacemaker placed at the end of the week and she is now up and running with her walker... asking for homemade tortillas and carne asada ...made with "Lard" Go figure! I say give her what she wants to eat. The hardest part is when the Dr. asked my Grandmother if she wanted to be intubated if anything went wrong...My heart sank when she said No, but it is her life and now we know....

God love my family but they are the craziest bunch around. My Grandmother has her adoptive Daughter living should I say off of her...and I had to do my best not to knock her out with her loud mouth and lies of telling everyone she was in "Nursing School". I seriously almost lost it! Anywho My family decided to go in shifts to make sure my Grandmother gets better and then my Aunt is going to take her shopping and break her out of the house she is living in. We are taking over! Some people use people for money and it makes me sick. I mean a week before we came...Wink wink someone broke into the house and took all of my Grandmother's gold and my Grandfather's purple heart...WHF?

Anywho seeing her reminded me of the strong women that I come from...able to withstand trials and tribulations of the heart...
And for now she is better and my heart lays at rest for now

Check out this hottness for Pantie dropper Thursday..

Oh yeah I got it like that a rap star...
I'm already really famous in my mind...
Don't be surprised if you see me on TMZ...
Oh yeah that is how I roll....

My new House Rules

Here is a funny old repost...a blast from the past!

This Poor Guy.....

So, this morning I check my e-mail and what did I find???.....

Ohhhh I felt so bad for this guy...he was actually very nice looking and he must be sweet to stick this out....This story is too juicy for me to hold back on....so here it is folks...he met her from a internet dating site....I had a really good laugh on this....you'll feel sorry for him too.....

"Here's my funny-traumatic story. If ever in my life I need therapy, this will be why. I answered and email I received on Match from a girl who claimed to be my type. After reading her profile I decided she seemed pretty down to Earth and funny. We emailed each other a few times and decided to talk on the phone. She seemed very high energy and pretty hilarious. We decided to try a first date. I suggested dinner. She claimed she likes to make first dates unforgettable and wants to have a "pajama party" at her house. Yes red flags went up in my head but I do give people the benefit of the doubt and the suggestion did fit her personality. I however told her I wasn't comfortable going to a strangers house in my pajamas but I would dress casual and grab a movie on the way. The next day I receive and email from her detailing all of the pajamas she owns and she wants me to pick the pair she is going to wear..yes again red flag. I emailed back that I couldn't see them so I cant make that decision. So against better judgment I go through with the date. I arrive at her house and ring the doorbell. A few seconds later the door opens. There before me stands a 3' 5" midget in little kids flannel-snowmen pajamas and white high heel pumps. On top of that she had the brightest red lipstick on I have ever seen and it was not subtle as it was not only on the lips, but also kind of smeared around the mouth like she just got done drinking a gallon of strawberry Kool-Aid. So totally in shock but not wanting to make her feel bad I go in. We talk for a few minutes and I suggest we start the movie. Let me say that it's a little weird sitting next to someone who's feet don't extend past the edge of the couch cushion. So, you would think that it couldn't get worse....well it did. She goes to the kitchen and brings me back a drink, which I'm sure it looked like I needed. She claimed it was Cranberry juice and Vodka. I take a sip and decided it tasted a little strange so I set it down and we watch the movie. Towards the end of the movie she goes to the bathroom and I decide to pour the drink out because I wasn't really in the "drinking" mood. Well, sitting on the counter is the EXPIRED cranberry juice bottle. Not just a little expired either, the bottle had an expiration date of 1999. So now totally freaked out I wait until the end of the movie, which seemed to take forever, and excuse myself and go home. Needless to say I didn't pursue it past that date. She was correct, it was memorable!! Do you have any dates that bad?"

Here we go again...

I got talked into it I admit...The only Dr. I have been with or pulled into the clean utility was Dr. Goldenrod, but as fate would have it I accepted the ofter to go to a party with a Dr. I know. Lord help me...Dr. get alcohol in them and they start kissing everybody...
So, Off I go to dinner and a house party of people I don't know...I'll give you the DL when I get home! Much love to ya people!

Straight up Hard core porn! Rich Frainklin

Doesn't that turn you on! He's hard core!