Happy Thanksgiving....

I wanted to write what I am thankful for but I am too busy eating all the food I can today! So, I think I will have to get to that later...The thankful part! Until then I will be eating all day...and working out the rest of the week!

Queen for a day...

I often go though phases that include crushes of sorts...

Like the time I was sure that Dane Cook was in love with me...I was sure that he was directly talking to me at his concert...I wrote "I love Dane" on my boobs! We decided to take it a bit slower until I actually meet him in person!

Then there was the time that Rich Franklin (UFC fighter) Wanted to marry me...but after he lost his last fight I started to think his fighting days were over and well...I had a hard time with the loss and even thought I still love him...I tell him it is me not him or unless he starts winning again! Hey you know my motto you can't come home unless you win! that goes for my Kiddo too!

Then there is the total relationship with Heff's wife Donna...Oh yeah she's such a Hottie. In Heff's dreams we always hook up on the holidays...cause that is how I roll!

Frequently, I have intimate relationships with some of my blogger friends! They don't really know about it because it usually happens when I am drunkin state of wine bliss and then I forget about it... And since I always follow the Catholic girl code...if I don't remember it didn't happen! That there excuses me from the whole slutty image I might be attaining out there in blog land.

And then there is the fact...Everyone knows that I have a pantie dropper problem and that also goes for the 3 million pair of shoes I have accumulated over the years...and there is that obsession with my boobs, but I don't really see that as a problem.

So, I thought it would be better to focus on some new traditions here on Just telling it...
I have asked my new girl crush to write something special for my blog...I like her for many reasons, but due to the Catholic girl code I am unable to tell you...The most important reason I like here is because I am obsessed with red-hair! and then again it might be for her very cheerily written posts or not!!

So, Ubermouth I crown you with this award...
Queen for the day!!!

Sincerely,
Darn girl

It's Friday....

Logistics guy always accuses me of being a Lesbian because I can appreciate a nice pair of boobs...
I'm not a Lesbian (not that there is anything wrong with it) I just happen to have several girl friends that I am close too. What's wrong with that?

The 200 a year rule.....

When, I first started having sexual chocolate relations (that's so sterile isn't it)with Logistics guy I gave him a ball examination. He gladly let me palpate his testicles and even coughed for me. I guess he's a team player and you know how much I like team playas!

Which leads me to wonder what is wrong with him?... to be having relations with a woman that insist on checking his balls monthly. We are talking about someone who is special, who listens to my stories over and over and never complains about them, a person who understands my obsession over my own and other woman's boobs, a man that will talk with me about old balls as if it were the normal dinner conversation...a man that loves guns and loves to share history...He talks with me until I pass out from the champagne we drank that night...A man that hangs in there and arises to the occasion with a refractory rate that would challenge most 20 yrs. olds.

I had to

1. see if he had more than a handful of balls
2. I had to make sure there were no bumps and lump that might need to be ultrasound
3. I just liked making him cough and cupping his balls...
4. I like the way his balls feel...

You be happy to know that his balls were not more than a handful...and there was nothing worth sending him to the Dr. for! Sweet score..

So last Thursday (panite dropper day) I told him that there is actually research out there that proves that when men and women have sex with the same partner at least 200 times a year that it helps them live longer. Now me being a nurse and all I like to follow thought with proven research tactics...

Even thought I wear him out...he always arises to the occasion...instead of 3 times on Thursday we might have pick another day of the week to get-in the 4 times a week to satisfy the 200 yr. rule. This all in the name of science..

Sincerely,
Darn girl

I

My BFF and other stuff...

My partner in crime (my old roommate that is newly single) girlfriend and I when out last Saturday night...Our theme was smooth criminal...our cab driver almost killed us with MJ playing in the background but after he ran several red lights and took us back to the future by five mins. we arrived to our Hon-key-tonk bar extravagance...boot skooting it we were! I know what you do for your friends!! I had to take one for the team!! cause I'm a Team Playa..
While sitting at the Bar we talked about all the shenanigans that we have been involved in over the years!! In order to not criminate myself I plea the 5th. ...let just say that we always have fun when we go out.
One case comes into mind...let's just say it was my birthday...and let's just say that there was an incident of car fire on my dates part and the same date had a fake testicle... Not by my own examination...but by him telling me....Ouch...I was totally out...
Thank goodness I still have my partner in crime!!
Eight years of friendship and trial by fire..Yeap love that girl!!!

Lone Survivor...Happy Venteran's Day Father and all....

The Nurses Memorial for Vietnam...for ever we will be connected!!
Happy Veteran's Day to Marcus Luttrell...Seal Team 10. He is the only one to survive Operation Redwing. New York best seller...It is worth the read!~!! I'm thinking where in Texas Marcus?...cause I went to high school in East Texas!! Maybe he will find me and then we can talk about that Business that he claims to be a Dr. to the People that save his live I can't blame him he meant no harm!!! (I'm totally a Dr. in my mind too so I totally understand) We have a lot in common!!! My father was a Marine in Nam and yes that is special...we come from greatness what can I say...I'm proud to be an American where at least I know I'm Free! I am sending a shout out to my girl SPC Joy Hoyle...My girl that I am supporting till she comes home!!She's but 2o yrs old but kind as they come...and I am blessed to have such a kind wonderfully talented girl in my life!!! I tell her find your heart and run with it...never give your power away For you can do anything you put your mind too!!!
Sincerely,
Darn girl

Oh Dr. Goldenrod....

I need not say more....If you ever wanted to know what Dr. Goldenrod looked like he looked like this..and this is why I was always pulling him in to the clean utility room in the hospital. So, New bloggers Dr. Goldenrod is the hot 6' 7 ft ER Dr. that showed me all the ropes when I started as a Nurse extern later to go on to work full time in the ER as a Nurse...We were BFF back in those days about 4 1/2 years ago and we are still friends today just from a far... Ohmygosh so we would work all night together at the hosptial and then he would come over to my house straight after work...We'd open a bottle of wine and discuss the nights crazy sh@! that happen...He would give me the Dr. version and I was all in (I like big words and he was an awsome DR. Looked like superman and saved so many lives that of coarse your panties have to fly off)...Then he'd say how beautiful he thought I was and then would ask me if he could rub my back...Do you even have to ask?...shirt off and he was so sweet...holding me in his strong arms..kissing me softly...thoughs days were magical and he always told me how much he loved me...but I never told him how much I loved him...last year he came to my house in December...and I finally told him how much he meant to me and how I will always love him...from a far. That's Right Dr. Goldenrod I will always love you my BFF. One of the Best Men I have ever known...

Official Day....

You all know what today is!!! It is officially Pantie dropper day!!! and I off to see Logistic guy!Score!

And now do justice to my award.....

For some unknown reason I have been chosen for the "You are a great read award" by the lovely talented Kimberly (Got blog) perpetuating my half of brain idea that I am famous in my mind...you understand it is hard to having half of a head. Just so you know that I am soooo shy when it comes to my daily sexual chocolate life but I am honored to receive this award so I am obligated to tell you the 10 things I do...on Thursday cause that is the day I see Logistic guy...I'm not a sex-addict I swear I swear....I only see him once a week and that is just plenty for me.

1.I am notorious for waking up at 4 or 5 in the morning to pee...you know that long pee that never ever seems to end. I wipe front to back cause that is what your suppose to do and then I wash my hands and sing the happy birthday song so I know that I have washed for the appropriate amount of time. (I'm a little neurotic when it comes to bacteria its all my mothers fault)

2. I'm naked that is part of the rules because this is not a democracy and I like to sleep naked against Logistic guy and he doesn't have a choice. I look in the mirror sucking in my abs so they are trained to appear flat. Oh they know don't you even think about turning against me .... because because my abs know that I will put them through a hell of a workout by way of only giving them a liquid diet. One can't ever be to strict with their body or it might turn against you.

3. Next, (at 5 in the morning) I brush my teeth making sure that I scrub them well after last nights blowing fest. I mean I am not apposed to giving in every now and then with a little dabble in the peni area if you know what I mean. Well that is how it starts....then there's the full on action but I am not about giving play by play because you all know that I am shy...sexual chocolate happens at least 2 times before we attire to sleep. There also might be a bottle of wine involved in all this action.

4. I swear I am not a sex addict I mean really isn't the average sexual encounter happen about 3 times a week...I am just making up time since I only see him once a week. I have way to many things to do the other days of the week. I have to write my blog, then I have to visit all my favorite blogs and comment. I mean where would I be with out my fellow bloggers who entertain me to the fullest. I would name names but they have had stalkers and I wouldn't want to put them in harms way! But I do look forward to their utterly talent and cleverness. It makes my day.

5. Back to 5 in the morning I take 800 mg of advil (4 pills) because I have a hip problem (because I am an athlete) it's call bursitis (inflammation of the join) and Ubermouth I just want to know how you knew of my highly classified condition. Five shots of cortisone in the left hip joint and I am still on the advil.

6. I then get back in the bed and rub my nakedness against Logistic guy. Now he is not a morning lover-upper kind of guy but I am determined to turn him into one. I start by putting my boobs in his face and that usually perks him up. What can I say I strive to be better than average.

7. Then I pass out again for about an hour or two. I've never been an early riser but since I started working days as an emergency room Nurse dang it if I don't wake up every mooring at the crack of dawn...I mean I wake up before the roosters crow for goodness sakes...and that is a whole other animal. I'll spare you the details of where my finger have been think... KY jelly it's good for all kinds of things besides the attended normal usage. Not to mention all the balls I have had to cup but that was just for fun....

8. I shower with Logistics washing his chiseled chest and big muscular arms...He washes my back and I give him a little body to body scrub. Wash the car style. He has special peppermint shampoo that tingles my scalp and I feel invigorated. All this good stuff in just a tipical Thursday morning and man I bushed. I feel like I worked 12 hrs. at the hospital well not quite I never stick my fingers where they shouldn't be with Logistic guy.

9. He makes me tea with cream and suga and cooks me breakfast...heck I'm starving after all the action. Its always the same eggs, cheese and jalapenos...Ummmm breakfast in bed!

10. I leave and he goes to work. I head home because after all I have a lot of TV catching up to do. There is the FBI files and Medical detective shows that I have to watch because I am the FBI and this is part of my research. I know I shouldn't have told you but I know that I can trust you to keep my secrete safe Code name Maverick. And sometime during the day I might find myself doing my college homework (a bore) and I might find myself eating something like a carrot and then I might find myself reading all my wonderful blogger BFFs blogs and then maybe just maybe writing one myself.

And that my dear friends in just a tipical Thursday day in the life of Darn Girl. Oh the other days are much less exciting doing homework, talking on the phone endlessly, working out and of coarse watching the FBI files or Cold case on the boob tube. And now it is time to pass the torch and give the honor to someone else.

Tag your it:

HEFF'S BAR & GRILL I love this guy and Donna his boobalishious wife

Opinions & Rectums,We All Got One Buffalo I love to hear your family stories

Lost Here and Beyond My blog lover

Wil Harrison.com always is a great read

Volume 22 Cracks me up with his tooth paste that has formaldehyde in it

Man With A Past A man that seeks goodness

The Ballad of Shelly Rayedeane Kindness beseeches her

And there you have it! I want all the dirt people!!!Mwahhhhhh

Hallo-eve

Until I write my supper dupper award here is a pic!!! I got an award I'm special ...now I am truly truly famous in my mind....

I can't believe it!!! I was chosen......

Omgosh I have been chosen....I can't believe it!!!! I have been soooo busy with Halloween that I haven't had time to give you my 10 things but I promise tomorrow I will get on it. I feel so blessed! Thank you Kimberly!!! Your the best of the best!! until then I will post my naughty costume! Enjoy!

Liquid Diet...

I'm on a liquid diet. It consist mostly of red wine (I've had success with this diet in the past). I am only going to this extreme because every Thursday when I go to Logistic guy's house I always end up Naked naked the whole time I am with him (I told you he's a pantie dropper)...it's not him he loves my body...if you knew what he did to it you would understand what I am talking about, but I want to feel totally comfortable walking around his house buck naked.

It is kind of liberating walking around the house in my birthday suit...No worries the curtains are closed. The chemistry between us is wild and electric. I walk in the door and we talk about a land far far way. He knows of the continental divide specifically the tectonic plates(pantie dropper I like big words)...at this point my breathing is getting heaver because I like a man that knows his geography. Then all of a sudden my panties fly off and I succumb to his forwardness...All I can say is it is magical...

So, now you see why I am on my liquid diet...I expect to lose at least 15 lbs by Thursday... It could happen...

Easy there...

Or the electric vibrator is what I hear... Specifically the Rabbit (pretty in pink)...that is purely speculation. Maybe I have watched to much Sex in the City...Nahhhh

My new favorite quote....

" Dude I'm not looking for a threesome with my wife...just handle business and I'll be the fly on the wall"...
Now that cracked me up!

Every Story has an Ending....

Every story has an ending and a new beginning...
He opened the door and I threw my arms around his neck. I stood on my tippie toes and gave him a long sweet kiss. Touching his lips sent electricity through my body. I wonder what it is about him that I like so much? I make a mental note to self to evaluate his good qualities.

I believe pheromones play a big part in which women and men chose each other. Sitting on his lap as we look at funny videos I take in his natural release of a mixture of testosterone and pheromones. It has been said that the olfactory (sense of smell) triggers the most vivid memories and I instantly think of the last time I was intimate with him. I talk to him with ease and we laugh at the little things. He makes me feel comfortable even to talk about the embarrassing things. I find his strength enticing drinking in the time that I spend with him as I lay naked next to him.

He lets me sleep in, kisses me good bye and heads off to work. I feel such a connection to him with a strong sense of chemistry and it is magical. I always have such a good time with him and my heart is finally at ease with the end of the story of Engineer guy and a new story that starts with Logistic guy. He makes me feel special and I haven't felt that way in a long time.

My interpretation to Logistic guy: Reasons why everyone should love nurses...

1. He has nice balls more than a handful it too much! I told him I like the way his balls feel and often cup them when we are together.

2. I like to think that he gets excited by the way I react to the way he touches me...

3. He's a team player and although he isn't used to getting up at 5 am to give me some sexual chocolate he cowboys it up like a champ!

4. I like to baby him...

5. I let him be in control. I prefer it that way!

6. And he indulges me by listening to my nursing stories and pays attention to detail...

7. I learned a lot in nursing school especially about the male human body.

8.He knows my code name...

9. One time and your labeled...

10. Hes got skills...no training needed!

Navy Seal Sniper One Shot One Kill...How fast can I get my Panties off?

Navy Seal Pantie Dropper...
Dear fellow bloggers' I believe most of you are pantie droppers including Heff's Wife Donna (if you have seen her you will know what I mean)...But I wont get into names as to not tell you how much I really love you all because you know I'm not about feelings. And thoughts that are not pantie droppers no need to worry it is just because you are female and you know how much I love all of you!!!
And since I am not about feelings... Heff it is all your fault why with your touching video... I just thought I would thank all my peeps for stopping by and making my blogging days fun with your clever and witty comments... I will try to keep the sexually chocolate reviews coming in, along with the blunders and misshapes, possibly gross stories and the ever so popular boobage shots...
More boobs to come I promise!
Sincerly,
Darn girl

Pantie dropper....

The word of the day Pantie droppers!

I spent all day yesterday and all of today with Logistic guys and let me tell you it was a pantie droppers day! We watched UFC, the military Chanel and talked about war and then my panties fell off. I don't know what came over me...I could feel the testosterone raising through his veins as his heart rate and reparations increased it was definitely a pantie dropper day...and all day and night and the next day...It was madness...I I loved every sweet touch, shower, and kiss...all day long, all night long and so on and so forth...We sleep so close to each other and of course he followed my naked rule as it is one of my policies...Yes, I am only seeing him at this point, I mean how could I even think of being with someone else when I have the best time when I am with him?

Yeah definitely it was a beautiful moment one that I didn't expect I would be having again. But, as luck would have I knew when I saw him that he was in trouble...

Sincerely,
Darn girl
P.S. girls I know you want to know. Big...that's all I got to say about that!

The Hoggs won and that was the only good part...

Alright I will get back to the trash romance novel I call my life but first a little look in the day of tailgating...
Okay I know that I am not your average girl. I might talk about peni or vaggignas...or things people put in there anuses..Right? But I being a good friend promised my girlfriend that I would not mention any of thoughts little tidbits. So, she agreed to let me go to the tailgate...being from Arkansas I was naturally a Hog fan amongst a bunch of A & M fans. My tongue strapped I tried my best to be normal and talk nice nice...but ummmm I found it hard to relate to the people that I was hanging out with. Even with beer in hand and a bunch of food (I brought a fruit plate that they made fun of me for bring) What doesn't everyone like fruit. I found myself just ummm asking stupid questions like: When did you graduate from A&M..or you know we are going to kick your Arse. Boring....
So, (I didn't have tickets to the game but was happy to be picked up by my pops cause I don't drink and drive) I found my self alone with my girlfriend's friends brother...yeah my prior rules went out the window. I asked him if he had a girlfriend (as to not offend anyone because I was freezing and made him put his arm around me). I asked him okay what nursing story do you want to hear....She'll never know I pondered that I brought out the arsenal. Do you want to hear gross, weird or both...coarse he said gross...I had no choice I had to tell him about the light bulb we once found in a guys butt. The guy lied and said he didn't know why he was having anal pain...Really are you sure as his wife was by his side and off I took him to CT (cat scan). And there it was in all its glory a light bulb 60 watt if I can remember. He laughed and I laughed and that was the best part of tailgating...Hope he doesn't tell it or I might be in trouble with my girlfriend. Oh yeah and I did take a picture with a fellow (I didn't know in the Hog tent)in a make shift raincoat made out of a garbage bag that was also the light of the tailgating extravaganza.

and now for an update on my Logistics guy...
Thursday we were suppose to go to the fair. It rained...so he say want to wait until next week. I said okay I'll be at your house at 3:00 pm I'll cook dinner and you don't have a choice...He was like yes I don't have a choice. I spent the night...I fell asleep at 9:00 pm boy am I fun...I made it up in the morning thought. So what if it was like 5 in the morning! Score!