Saw This Cracked Me up....enjoy

The Weekend Christmas Party

It was the Christmas party this weekend, sometimes I wonder how Engineer guy can handle my personality...
I walk in and say...to people I hardly know...okay the party can start now...
Wine.... can I say I drank a lot of wine...

It was fun we laughed...we talked...okay I mostly talked...what's wrong with me...I can't ever turn it off...

Engineer guy...my sweet...I'm sorry about spilling the wine on your nice pink shirt...(he could pull it off...the pink shirt I mean)...no I wanted him to pull it off..tehee...just a joke...I make myself laugh at times...very easy to amuse myself...

Oh yeah and for spilling wine in the elevator...it could happen..it really could

Normally I would not use the C word but ummmmm Thanksgiving was the shi'et...what more else can I say...

That's right I did it...I did it...do I remember it though

So, I haven't seen my new boyfriend...can I call him that..I think I can...
I mean...I am not seeing anyone else and ummmm we never talk about anything serious so that sounds like the protocol...no feelings right...
Friday....he says sweetheart ummmm I really need to finish this last baseball game do you want to come with me...Im like ummmm is there beer there...and ummmmm your going to hit the ball cause I can't go home with you if you suck...it is just how it is....
I say sure I can meet the folks that you work with...no problem...and well there is beer there so I am good...maybe I had a little too much beer...it could happen...the liver is evil and it must be punished...that is all I am saying...so any how...I have really been wanting to ask him how he feels about me cause you know we are both not about feelings...(except when I have been drinking then it is no holds
bars) ...
J: I say...on the way home...how do you feel about me...I need to know...really...I have been wondering I know that he cares but I wan to hear it...
why wouldn't I ?
He says how do I feel....well I never taken anyone around the people I work with....
Me: so seriously how do you feel...lets just get down to the raw deal...he says I really like you and I like crazy so we are good...
Just like Greg B says....he is attentive is he is all in...and if not he is just not that into you....you will know...
Point in case...I woke like ohhh crap did I say that ....you know I have to be the one that doesn't care as much....
He's sweet...he is loving and he handles my crazyness...what more could I ask for ....
J, I really care about you too...but ummmm let's not tell him that okay...deal..

Score..Did I Just Say That Out-Loud, I Think I Did

I love my crazy, wonderful, beautiful, amazing, sometimes painful life...

You know that you are happy again when the little things make you smile...smile so much your face starts to hurt...
ahhhh life is sweet..

Thoughs of you that know me..have read my crazy, painful, crack-up up stories and know that in May I was just not...not one happy camper..but I' back...that's it... I said it... I'm back

I found myself...I found that girl that everybody missed...that girl that laughs so much at the stupid little things in life... that girl that cracks her ownself up...that's right she is back with full force..

I mean...Okay so you know...that well Dr. GoldenRod pretty much was the only person to see that girl in May..that's cause well you know...He's ummmm Dr. GoldenRod and one day one day...I will pull him in the clean utility room..but ummm until then he still keeps me on my toes and makes me smile...

Life does have thoughs funny ways of making up for all the bad times...last night "mister guy" text me...says he misses me and would like to see me and the kid... wants me to know that he thinks of me often and really still loves me soooo sooo much...
I text him back and say and I really ment it...sorry but things are different for me now...I am sorry but I can't see you...I just can't...I don't want too...really I have no interest in seeing him ever again and then and then...

I get in my car and drive to "Engineer guy's" house...ahhhh I haven't seen him in 10 days...our lips meet...I feel my heart beat faster...as he draws me closer to him.... and the rest is history...The chemistry between us is electric...and I am amazed...

Yep, I love this crazy, beautiful, special, sometimes crazy painful amazing life...
Score...did I just say that out-loud, yes I think I did..all I can say is wow...WOW

Feel them up...

Sorry for being MIA...dealing with politics...but still thinking of you all...

I guess I have never been one to close my mouth...lesson learned...keep your feelings to your self...unless of coarse your writting on your blog then it is fair game right??
Off one soap box on another one...

Hey..to all those wonderful women out there...check your breast...call all your girlfriends and bug them...to feel themselves up...every month...

Life is beautiful...pass on the message

Off soap box....

Wonder Twins Power Activate....

Remember when we were kids and and you would play superfriends....
Oh yeah I wanted to always play the twins...I was the girl and my cousin was the boy...he would always turn into water...while I would turn into a hawk...something with flight powers cause I just thought that was so darn cool....
You would put you fist together and yell to the top of your lungs....Wonder powers activate...ahhh thoughs were the days...so carefree....so easy


These days I turn to my friend...the one with the baboo butt at verious times...Wonder twin...I say...activate...

Thanks...you know who you are...for always being there for me....even though I am not about feelings...cause...I'm just not...he knows my heart...and well...I would not trade him for the world....

I will never ask you to deactivate...just remember that....love you

Life in Like a Box of Chocolates...U Never Know What Your Going to Get

I was watching Forest Gump this weekend...seeing life though his simple young blue eyes and I thought to myself...

Self Forest's mother was right when she said life is like a box of chocolates you never know what your going to get...most of the time life is sweet, but sometimes you get that chocolate that you just don't like....

I have come to realize that "Mister Guy" is my Mr. Big (Sex in the City)and no matter how I look at it...no matter how much he loves me it will never work...I have realized this...oh it still hurts but I have realized that the fight is over and I am throwing in the towel...I can no long float like a butterfly and sting like a bee...

The amazing thing is all this time I have been dating random guys mostly all that I have not been attracted to or ones that I think only want my body...(or maybe that is just a figment of my imagination) but let me have the dream people...

I have met one guy that through it all has never changed who he was... has given me space when I have needed it and who has put a smile on my face...He's younger...he's smart and he is a family person who cares sooo deeply from what I can tell...He is patient and kind beyond...he treats me like a princess...

I have realized people are different and no one will be my fire fighter guy...no one will be Mister guy...but there will be someone who is sweet...who I am attracted too...who makes me smile...who makes me feel important and special...who respects me and what I do and will listen tooo all all my gross stories..and never fails me....hasn't lied to me...

It really is just the begining of our relationship, but I am hopeful...

Sometimes I tell my patients not to give up, that God sometimes has a bigger and greater life planned for us that we may not dream for ourselves....

What I did Today....

Rolled up out of the couch...not even the the bed....at 1800 that's right people 6 Pm...hey...ehy I worked last night and it was not pretty let me just tell ya...

Cheecked my e-mail...got lots of e-mails from the online dating site of men way tooo old and unattrractive...(hey listen I am no gold digger here...no dirty old men for me...) I get that enough at the hospital...old balls...I repeat...old balls...

Took a shower...shaved...

Got ready for a date...went to his apartment for got my phone had to drive home(nerved tha tthis time wanting to call the whole thing off and go back to bed) drove back home picked my phone up drove back to his house...went to dinner...enjoyed my conversation...did he hear me or was he just looking at my boobs the whole time???

Drove home thought...he is only interested in my body...when am I going to find someone who interested in both. my body and mind.....hey I'd give it up all the time for the right person...

Read my blog lovers blog...he finally came around and found out that I am the one...the one for him cause I know all the dirty things he likes to do the fear in his flies the fire in his flies...I the one that's buzin aroudn his head...he know's me...he know's me....

and then and then...I drink 4 beers and go to the couch...what can I say my day has been productive...
sweet

What...

Porque this is hott...

Lady says to me...my nanna is really getting old...last week she was lining up her poo in a row...
Me: What?

Lady: yeah...she also like smears her poo on the windows and in her hair and all over her body...

Me: What???

Lady: yeah...she also collects her hair that has fallen out...she rolls it out it a ball...

Me: What??? my mind is deboggled...

Things that make you want to ummmmm...

I almost threw-up last week at work when a woman came in complaining of constipation...she had an ostomy bad (collects poop) and apparently she hadn't had much output that day...I thought I was going to die..die... after I gave her some pain medication and the bag began to fill with poo...sick...she called me in the room and said...hey I have to empty this thing before it explodes...Holy Crap...no pun intended...

I can just vision it now...the bag explodes and crap is all over her and the new bright and shiny ER rooms..complete with flat TV screens....

Wow I have met my nemisi...I can't handle ostomy bags and their tendencys to explode..

Go Figure?

A Blast from the Past

Wow...so I got a phone call today that was a blast from the past...thoughs of you that have followed my tragic life...thoughs of you that have read my blog from the beginning ....would know that once once I was in love with a married paramedic...hey to my favor I had no no idea that he was married.,....hey I even even went to Mexico with his captain and wife...no one no one even told me...he lived with his best friend.....how was I to know...I let him go as soon as I knew I assure you....but but...today I get a call from his bestest bestest friend...well no his bestest friend anymore because he saw what lieing can do to a person...how it can break your heart into a million peices...how you can care and think of only other people...understanding why we make the mistakes that we make/....I bear no hate from this as you might have read in the past.....

I get a call from AL-B's best friend at the time( no more he is a virtious man and saw what lieing can do to a person)...wow a blast from the past...he is no longer a EMT he is a full fledge Paramedic...can you say 16 G wow...I am impressed..he says missed you...so proud of you....you made it you really made it...I say of coarse did you think that I would let him....him...break me...I was destine to be to be the ER nurse I am today...Paramedic guy I am proud of you too...you did it...you made it too...Good to hear from you and how you saved that little girls life....I am hear for you....I say...as you let me cry on your shoulder not so long ago....

thanks....thanks....paramedic guy...my thoughts are with you...

Just when...Just When...

Just when you think you have it bad...your life is somewhat dull and uneventfull...

You can always...always turn on Jerry Springer and find something that makes you feel as if you are living like a Queen...

I turned the chanels today as I was surfing the TV..and there they were...28yr female..engaged to a 37 yr male...who was sleeping with a 19yrl girl that they paid 2500.00 dollars to to birth their baby...

That is not even the worst of it...28 yr old let's her man have sex with the 19 yr...19 yr old falls for the 37 yr old...

Okay...WTF?? can I just say...this guy was topless on Springer with man boobs that look as if he had nursed a baby and all the plump fell out of them...I mean they were swinging throught the wind...people swinging...they were almost hanging down to his navel....

Can you say swing...and Oh my...wow his stomach was swinging too...wow...I mean wow...

so when you think that your life is going bad you can always always...turn on Springer and find someone more pitiful than your self....Holy Moly...

Swing...

The Juice and the Box

So, the other day I had a conversation with a friend of mine...we were discussing why "Mister Guy" still calls me and likes to torcher me cause he knows that I still care...I know what's wrong with me...why should I care...I'm getting there though I swear...I am almost fed up...and the conversation goes like this...

Me: Why does Mister Guy still call me and torcher me by telling me that he still loves me and really would like to work things out with me...seems that since he has dated other girls he has figured out that infact he still loves me...

Friend: It's your Juice Box...he misses your juice box..

Me: when he had my juice box he hardly ever wanted it...now all of a sudden he wants it...

Friend; This is about control...other people want your juice box so now he wants it...it is like the cave man sydrome...if he has you then he feels like he is in control...

Me: Why do men...why when they have your juice box they do not want it as much as if it is not as exciting...and what are men willing to do for the juice box...

Friend: Men if they want your juice box they will do just about anything to get it...

Me: well...he is not ever going to get even so much as a peak at my juice box..
we are are in 2006 and still still..men are like cavemen

Go Figure? I think I would like to try another straw...

My Random Thoughts of the Day

First, I would like to say that last night at work all I had were clingers...
That’s right that's right clingers...can't the girl get a break..My night went by so fast my head was almost spinning...

Turnin around right round baby right round...


Dr. so and so was there and all I got to say is...ummm it is okay that he was flirting with me all night?...ahhhh yeah I liked it...really..No harm done right...I'm profession I never go pass the line and like grab him and pull him to an empty room and ahhhh like make-out with him...but ahhh yeah I might have wanted to...Darn no empty rooms...

What a girl can fantasize right?

I got a random e-mail from a guy that claimed that when I started my on-line dating adventure that he had in fact talked to me on the phone and a shared ever-so- many e-mails with me…ahhhh yeah…do I remember? Nooooo…and I certainly did not remember the porn photos he sent me either…OMG…WTF?? he sent a frontal pic that pretty much showed all of his package standing attention …giving me the salute …Semper Fi Amy ... Semper Fi …I mean I mean I could see his pubs (neatly trimmed I might add a landing strip) in all…( light brown in color)…Gee guy..ahhh thanks for the free porn pictures ….I think…..

Uhhhh should we give him an A + or just an A for effort…

Contents of my purse: 2 lip glosses…Oh not just any lip glosses…they were only only a dollar each and and they are glittery…Of most importance…almost as important as how much I paid for them…
My purse has several..okay many little peaces of paper…do I need these papers…no they only get in the way when I try to give the cashier lady pennies and then they end up with the pennies…and then and then…cashier lady says I do not need you little scraps of paper…shie’t sorry…I thought you did…..
My purse also has random coins lingering at the bottom of my purse just waiting for me to use them so that so that they are no longer lonely hanging loosely by themselves…

More later on the contents of my purse…My brain hurts from having to think too much last night…I know I am surprised to that I can actually critically think..and heyyyyy I think my professors would be surprised too….

p.s....I need some chocolate...chocolate anyone..not for me for my brain...I swear

Sweet...

One door closes the other open..

Oh What a Night Late December Back in 63 '

Yes, that is right I am infact singing again to myself...because because...I am happy ....oh just happy...and no 30' or Awaiting I have not been drinking wine this time...

No,wine is not the answer today...

So, you ask me what is it making you smile today...making you proud (I am infact pushing out my chest "boobs") out right now cause well....I am sooo proud...

Why you ask?...what could make her gleam with pride...what could make her tap dance in in the shower...what could make me wear my blue eye shadow out tonight and not even even care what other girls think.....No it is not a man this time...
Most of the time ...but not this time...

You know those people that you work with...the ones from New York that are brasen to say the very least...the ones that will chew you up and spit you out...like a piece of very old gum...or chew... tehee

Well, yeah so there is this Female Dr. I work with...and to say the very least...she is tough on the nurses...she once told a seasoned nurse that she should be a hostess...not even a waitress..Yikes...I in fact tippy toe around her most of the time as I clumsly try not to do things wrong..Hey I'm new...

Last night...last night she said to me...Amy good call...thanks for saving my butt....

What? I was in shock...I looked behind me (finger pointing to my chest "boobs") to look for another nurse named Amy...No she was infact talking to me....Wow...I mean Wow...

What a feeling...something something somthing...dancing throught the night....yeahhhh

Oh yeah that's me again singing...to the beat of my own drum...yeah I have been asked if I road the short bus to school.. and well I did...so,hip hop hurray for the short bus....