Written By Regina Brett, 90 years old
To celebrate growing older, I once wrote the 45 lessons life taught me.
It is the most requested column I've ever written. My odometer rolled over to
90 in August, so here is the column once more:
1. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.
2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.
3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.
4. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick.
Your friends and parents will. Stay in touch.
5. Pay off your credit cards every month.
6. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
7. Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone.
8. It's OK to get angry with God. He can take it.
9. Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck.
10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.
11. Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present.
12. It's OK to let your children see you cry.
13. Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn't be in it.
15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don't worry; God never blinks.
16. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.
17. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.
18. Whatever doesn't kill you really does make you stronger.
19. It's never too late to have a happy childhood.
But the second one is up to you and no one else.
20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don't take no for an answer.
21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie.
Don't save it for a special occasion. Today is special.
22. Over prepare, then go with the flow.
23. Be eccentric now. Don't wait for old age to wear purple.
24. The most important sex organ is the brain.
25 No one is in charge of your happiness but you.
26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words 'In five years, will this matter?'
27 Always choose life.
28. Forgive everyone everything.
29. What other people think of you is none of your business.
30. Time heals almost everything. Give time time.
31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
32. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
33. Believe in miracles.
34. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn't do.
35. Don't audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.
36. Growing old beats the alternative -- dying young.
37. Your children get only one childhood.
38. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.
39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.
40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's, we'd grab ours back.
41. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
42. The best is yet to come.
43. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
44. Yield.
45. Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift.
Remember that I will always share my spoon with you!
Friends are the family that we choose for ourselves.
Saturday, June 06, 2009
Sent to me by my cuz....
Tuesday, June 02, 2009
It seems....
Whilst talking with my girlfriend on Sunday Dr. Goldenrod came up...
Thoughts of you new to my blog might not understand the significance of Dr. Goldenrod...
Think Superman...
Tall 6'6
Ice blue eyes...
Black slicked back hair...
ER Dr. Saving lives...
Oh I love him from a far...
He called me the other day and I caved...
What is a girl to do...
He rubbed my back....
And that is it...We talked
I pressed my body next to his...
He says I don't know how to act...
I say shhhhhh....
Just enjoy the moment...
His breath next to my breast...
and then he left...
Oh Dr.Goldenrod what is a girl to do?
Thoughts of you new to my blog might not understand the significance of Dr. Goldenrod...
Think Superman...
Tall 6'6
Ice blue eyes...
Black slicked back hair...
ER Dr. Saving lives...
Oh I love him from a far...
He called me the other day and I caved...
What is a girl to do...
He rubbed my back....
And that is it...We talked
I pressed my body next to his...
He says I don't know how to act...
I say shhhhhh....
Just enjoy the moment...
His breath next to my breast...
and then he left...
Oh Dr.Goldenrod what is a girl to do?
Sunday, May 31, 2009
Love...
There are days that I think that I can't bare anymore pain...
and then there are days that you see your very best friend in the world and then you know love again...
Thank you mamma...
Thank you for the day and the love
and then there are days that you see your very best friend in the world and then you know love again...
Thank you mamma...
Thank you for the day and the love
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
Tommorrows the day....
Oh Dane, Dane Cook...
Sorry, I am just practicing for tomorrow. I even wrote his name on my boobs and went to spin class. Coarse no one could see my boobs until I flashed the teacher...
It was a good class
I left sparkles everywhere!
Sorry, I am just practicing for tomorrow. I even wrote his name on my boobs and went to spin class. Coarse no one could see my boobs until I flashed the teacher...
It was a good class
I left sparkles everywhere!
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
Dane Here I come...
No pun intended...
As you all may know that I am fanatically involved with Dane Cook...
Shhhh I know I know I shouldn't be telling you this because he is private and all...but how can I really hold it in I mean really...We have bonded over the years...
Thursday, I am finally giving him a break. He decided to come back to the desert because well I am here and need I say more. Some how, I don't understand the Men in my life not getting the fact that I have made a pack with him...I must wear boobs out and write his name on my breast...What is wrong with that? I wondered to myself quietly out loud whilst I heard loud objections from my friends. They just don't understand our love...They don't understand how much he really loves my boobs. I mean he would talk about them but he is selfish and doesn't want to share them with the world. Hence his name on them...Now I just am wondering how he is going to see me from the farthest seat sold?
Saturday, May 23, 2009
Let us remember....
Saturday, May 16, 2009
On the road to grandpa 'shouse...
I am on the road to grandpa's house..
The car broke down...
We were picked up by Opie the long nose hair guy..
Imagine nose hair growing on top of his nose, out of his nose and I think his ear hair gently touched my shoulder as he turned to put he truck up on the tow truck...
I had visions of little bugs that usually live on your eye lashes crawling down his ear hair onto my shoulders...
Well I got to go now, I got to get back on the road
it only took 5 hours to get the tow truck, get the rental and stop at Starbucks to refuel
Have a good weekend I catch up when I get to grandpa's house were they think I eat way too healthy...
The car broke down...
We were picked up by Opie the long nose hair guy..
Imagine nose hair growing on top of his nose, out of his nose and I think his ear hair gently touched my shoulder as he turned to put he truck up on the tow truck...
I had visions of little bugs that usually live on your eye lashes crawling down his ear hair onto my shoulders...
Well I got to go now, I got to get back on the road
it only took 5 hours to get the tow truck, get the rental and stop at Starbucks to refuel
Have a good weekend I catch up when I get to grandpa's house were they think I eat way too healthy...
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
I'm not obsessed I swear...
You all might not know it but at times I can be fixated with certain things, people, and or places in the body where my fingers have been. I'm not obsessed I swear.
I have various crushes on some bloggers I follow I can't help it. I sometimes have one night stands with them in my mind. I never usually tell them and according to the Catholic girl code, if they don't know it never really happened.
Recently, I was visited by the 3rd nipple. It's not that I am fixated by a third nipple it is just that I seem to be drawn to men with them. All went well and nobody was even drinking alcohol.
Today Dane Cook is going to be on Oprah. Now I am not saying that I changed my whole day so that I could be with my lover, but I couldn't let Dane down. We are extensively involved. He writes jokes, mostly about other people but I know that I am always on his mind. He came to my city for a show, and of coarse I couldn't go; I find torturing him a little keeps me on his mind. He especially appreciates my boobs because he talks about other women's boobs as to keep mine all to himself. I know I should be keeping this quiet because he is shy, but I think I'm in love with him. Now, I just got to figure out how to meet him.
Sunday, May 10, 2009
Tuesday, May 05, 2009
Terracycle in effort to...
In efforts to practice what I preach I am going green...
Start small...think BIG! I live in a apartment now I just need to find a way to compost my own trash without smelling up the place.
Today...
Go to goodwill purchase 100% recycled planters...
Buy tomato plants, strawberry planters and cilantro...
Make a big big mess...
I also used a new and up coming exciting fertilizer (worm poop)...
I have been researching this Co for my class...
They are smarter than should be legal...
Terracycle...
They are 100% organic, they use peoples trash for compost, feed it to the worms and make poop tea. 100 % of their packaging is recycled; reclaimed soda bottles, milk jugs and other trash that I guaranty the 27 yrs old Princeton drop-out claims is treasure.
Sunday, May 03, 2009
Invisible...
Invisible...
I close my eyes...
My heart unable to feel...
No vision of the future...
No turning back...
You touch my shoulder...
I turn away...
Unable to feel...
Unable to stay...
I wonder will I ever heal...
Someday...
I close my eyes...
My heart unable to feel...
No vision of the future...
No turning back...
You touch my shoulder...
I turn away...
Unable to feel...
Unable to stay...
I wonder will I ever heal...
Someday...
Monday, April 27, 2009
What is it with me and guys from West Virgina
What is it with me and Men from West Virgina....
More specifically men from West Virgina that are Engineers..
Friday, I got a call from my Mechanical Engineer guy not to be confused Engineer guy. I met him up for a drink, and to shoot the shit. I have to admit that I knew he was from West Virgina...he's fun to hang out with so I figure why not? Since the break up I have seen him several times...He speaks my language what can I say and the the fact that he was special operation in the air force doesn't hurt. I mean really he's hard, successful, but he's an Engineer and from West Virgina. Sorry I'm out.
In still I enjoyed all the attention he gave me and I will have to tell you later about the story he told me that night...
Basically in his undergrad he had a rule that he wouldn't date women south of heart county...
What that means I'm not sure but what I gathered they had 3 legs and such...
He said, " I understand the inbreeding" What hu? you do? I just don't' get why they don't use birth control...
Who knew?
Friday, April 24, 2009
Etiquette has Never Been My Strong Point...
Dating can be difficult if etiquette is not your strong suit...
Who knew right? Some of my favorite blogs have been about the unpopular popular subjects.
Like about the time that I froze Engineer guys penis...I know right you should have seen his face. I know that I am a Nurse but I am not a condom flavor expert ( that particular condom was part of a party packet that had some condoms with benzocaine, a mild freezer of the penis sos one can last longer for all you guys out there unaware) and we were having a party. I stick to the basics. And for the Record since Engineer guy might read this he never needed the freezing part. I know I still love you too.
Hey there you go I wonder if it is etiquette to stick to the basics? Do I pull out the condom or do I ask him if he has a condom? If I have condoms on me will he think he is getting lucky? Mostly I get out of these awkward situations because I am a nurse and everyone already expects me to play it safe as I always am. Be safe or go home is my moto...
Another difficulty for me when it comes to etiquette is when to bust out the ball talk? Now I am a lady, I don't do boy stuff and anyone that knows me knows this but I am a nurse and we all talk about the testicals... I think it is a requirement or something. I mean really I was only attracted to nursing school for the beneifits of seeing people naked and checking balls. So, how do I fit in the... "my hands have cupped a many of balls in my time"...or No I think your penis is perfect believe me I have seen a lot of peni in my day. That kind of sounds bad doesn't it. Then I can go on to say no I have seen a lot of peni but only professionally. Ummm that sounds bad too. Then what I mean to say is that I have held a lot of old balls with grey hair...here again I am digging myself into a hole.
Oh the dating woes? Will I ever figure it out?
Just to update you on Laser guy...
I couldn't bring myself to see him the other night. Doggie I know I tried to cowboy it up but decided to lay low this week. I got to give it to him he has given me space not pushing me. What guy wants to talk about feelings. Darn if he wasn't just so funny and handsome...
I'm headed out with him tonight for some fun... he promises light talk, lots of laughs and he's providing the condoms...
Who knew right? Some of my favorite blogs have been about the unpopular popular subjects.
Like about the time that I froze Engineer guys penis...I know right you should have seen his face. I know that I am a Nurse but I am not a condom flavor expert ( that particular condom was part of a party packet that had some condoms with benzocaine, a mild freezer of the penis sos one can last longer for all you guys out there unaware) and we were having a party. I stick to the basics. And for the Record since Engineer guy might read this he never needed the freezing part. I know I still love you too.
Hey there you go I wonder if it is etiquette to stick to the basics? Do I pull out the condom or do I ask him if he has a condom? If I have condoms on me will he think he is getting lucky? Mostly I get out of these awkward situations because I am a nurse and everyone already expects me to play it safe as I always am. Be safe or go home is my moto...
Another difficulty for me when it comes to etiquette is when to bust out the ball talk? Now I am a lady, I don't do boy stuff and anyone that knows me knows this but I am a nurse and we all talk about the testicals... I think it is a requirement or something. I mean really I was only attracted to nursing school for the beneifits of seeing people naked and checking balls. So, how do I fit in the... "my hands have cupped a many of balls in my time"...or No I think your penis is perfect believe me I have seen a lot of peni in my day. That kind of sounds bad doesn't it. Then I can go on to say no I have seen a lot of peni but only professionally. Ummm that sounds bad too. Then what I mean to say is that I have held a lot of old balls with grey hair...here again I am digging myself into a hole.
Oh the dating woes? Will I ever figure it out?
Just to update you on Laser guy...
I couldn't bring myself to see him the other night. Doggie I know I tried to cowboy it up but decided to lay low this week. I got to give it to him he has given me space not pushing me. What guy wants to talk about feelings. Darn if he wasn't just so funny and handsome...
I'm headed out with him tonight for some fun... he promises light talk, lots of laughs and he's providing the condoms...
Thursday, April 23, 2009
Bang Bang Bang
Okay Okay I got it...
I have a crazy neighbor...
No really he is off his lunner...
Have you ever had a neighbor that banged the ceiling even when even when it is not you that is making the sound above.
I think this is a first for me...No no I know it is a first...
Bang Bang Bang I hear the neighbor loosing it again except this time I hear the neighbor that is beside me making noise in his bedroom.
Knock Knock I go next door and ask if he can hear the rude neighbor below...
Ummmm He can come to the door right now he is having sex with his boyfriend..
Ohhhh sorry. They were making a lot of noise I don't know what the hell was going on butt I just left dodge....
I have a crazy neighbor...
No really he is off his lunner...
Have you ever had a neighbor that banged the ceiling even when even when it is not you that is making the sound above.
I think this is a first for me...No no I know it is a first...
Bang Bang Bang I hear the neighbor loosing it again except this time I hear the neighbor that is beside me making noise in his bedroom.
Knock Knock I go next door and ask if he can hear the rude neighbor below...
Ummmm He can come to the door right now he is having sex with his boyfriend..
Ohhhh sorry. They were making a lot of noise I don't know what the hell was going on butt I just left dodge....
Monday, April 20, 2009
I'm hoping that all I have to do is...
So, tonight is the talk...
I am hoping to just take off my shirt and expose my boobs...
Then all is forgiven!
Right? Isn't that suppose to work?
I am hoping to just take off my shirt and expose my boobs...
Then all is forgiven!
Right? Isn't that suppose to work?
Sunday, April 19, 2009
Feelings...I don't have any feelings...
Laser guy and I had a little bit of a tiff the other day...
Okay maybe it was a big tiff...but what can I say I'm a little shut down when it comes to feelings.
He wants to talk about it...
Can you imagine that? I'm not really good at doing that talking about feelings and stuff.
He wants to know how I really feel about him...
Can we talk he a minute people? I like him I really do. He's fun to be with he makes me laugh all the time. He's generous and has a kind heart, but I can't I just can't talk about feelings.
I'm just not ready yet for that.
What's wrong with me? He held me tight the other night stroking my hair, rubbing my back telling me how beautiful he thought I was and still I clammed up. I ran away back to my house. He's a little hurt and I can tell it in his voice, I feel bad.
I really feel bad...what is a girl going to do?
speak to me people I need help.
Okay maybe it was a big tiff...but what can I say I'm a little shut down when it comes to feelings.
He wants to talk about it...
Can you imagine that? I'm not really good at doing that talking about feelings and stuff.
He wants to know how I really feel about him...
Can we talk he a minute people? I like him I really do. He's fun to be with he makes me laugh all the time. He's generous and has a kind heart, but I can't I just can't talk about feelings.
I'm just not ready yet for that.
What's wrong with me? He held me tight the other night stroking my hair, rubbing my back telling me how beautiful he thought I was and still I clammed up. I ran away back to my house. He's a little hurt and I can tell it in his voice, I feel bad.
I really feel bad...what is a girl going to do?
speak to me people I need help.
Thursday, April 16, 2009
Matter of the heart never easy....
Matters of the heart...
Torn...
Today I saw Engineer guy, saddness fills my heart as I have tried to move on but he lingers in my heart.
I ask myself why? Why can't i just move on?
I spent 3 years of my life with him and I know that he is trying to move as well.
I thought I would be okay seeing him but I'm not sure.
Men from my past keep showing up in my life and I am not sure what is going on...
Please tell me I can get past this feeling that lingers in my heart....
Torn...
Today I saw Engineer guy, saddness fills my heart as I have tried to move on but he lingers in my heart.
I ask myself why? Why can't i just move on?
I spent 3 years of my life with him and I know that he is trying to move as well.
I thought I would be okay seeing him but I'm not sure.
Men from my past keep showing up in my life and I am not sure what is going on...
Please tell me I can get past this feeling that lingers in my heart....
Monday, April 13, 2009
Easter time with My MoMo...

My sister is here in the Valley of the Sun...Watch out here we come. Yesterday I spent countless hours singing and dancing with my little niece MoMo. When ever MoMo and I get together there is nothing but lip gloss, singing, dancing and movie star kisses. I love all of my sister's children as if they are my own, but MoMo has a special place in my heart. She looks just like my sister when she was a little girl flooding back memories of times past. Then of coarse there is the picking fest...thoughts of you that know me know what I am talking about. It was a never ending wonderous day with family, friends and laughter.
Sunday, April 12, 2009
Thursday, April 02, 2009
I honor this Man for his courage and strength....

Pleas take time to read this entry it was sent to me so I didn't write it but it touched my heart....
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Monday, March 23, 2009
Cycling the day way....
Me: Your so handsome...
Him: Your so beautiful...
Me: Your so fun...
Him: Your so fun...
17 miles later I'm smiling as we take the light-rail home...
It feels good to enjoy some of the simple things in life like a bike ride with friends and dinner at home...
Him: Your so beautiful...
Me: Your so fun...
Him: Your so fun...
17 miles later I'm smiling as we take the light-rail home...
It feels good to enjoy some of the simple things in life like a bike ride with friends and dinner at home...
Thursday, March 19, 2009
Okay sure I can put my leg up in the air...but your going to see my pink panties
So, I have hip injury that I have been trying to ignore but it is not working...
So, I called my Bone Dr. for another steroid shot.
Yeah I am on steroids...but I am not getting big muscles go figure...
Picture it...
Bone Dr. comes in and I am in my pink panties and a paper gown...
He says lay down on your back, he pulls up my gown up...
Hello pink panties in all their glory.
He says you have a bruise on your leg...
Yeah, I said I am clumsy and ran into the corner at a friends house...
I'm a little embarrassed, but what can I say he's the Dr.
I don't have a choice...ohhhh I don't have a choice okay
Then the Dr. pulled my leg up in the air and asked if it hurt?...
I'm trying to be professional and not smile or laugh but I have to tell you I haven't been in this position since Engineer guy and I were together...
I'm feeling a little vulnerable, but I need the shot cause my hip is killing me...
I guess this is normal what do I know...
Then he tells me to to turn on my side so that he can give me the shot...
Holy crap it hurts, I didn't scream but I wanted to...I sucked it up
And that was my day...
So, I called my Bone Dr. for another steroid shot.
Yeah I am on steroids...but I am not getting big muscles go figure...
Picture it...
Bone Dr. comes in and I am in my pink panties and a paper gown...
He says lay down on your back, he pulls up my gown up...
Hello pink panties in all their glory.
He says you have a bruise on your leg...
Yeah, I said I am clumsy and ran into the corner at a friends house...
I'm a little embarrassed, but what can I say he's the Dr.
I don't have a choice...ohhhh I don't have a choice okay
Then the Dr. pulled my leg up in the air and asked if it hurt?...
I'm trying to be professional and not smile or laugh but I have to tell you I haven't been in this position since Engineer guy and I were together...
I'm feeling a little vulnerable, but I need the shot cause my hip is killing me...
I guess this is normal what do I know...
Then he tells me to to turn on my side so that he can give me the shot...
Holy crap it hurts, I didn't scream but I wanted to...I sucked it up
And that was my day...
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
Happy St. Patties day can we talk....
Okay I am sorry to goosh...but
I haven't had this much fun in years....
Bev: OMGosh he looks so great in his scrubs...
Me : I know right look at his chest muscles ...(I'm smitten what can I say)
Bev: Does he have a big Penis?
Me: Bev you have no limits do you? I haven't had sex with the guy yet, but ummmmm
I have seen him in spandex (don't ask something about spin class with me). Well I am a Nurse so I did offer a testicle check...Is that so wrong?
Bev: No not wrong at all... I concur after all isn't that what we went to nursing school for?
Me: Yes, that is what I went to nursing for... I did get my boobs grabbed..score...
Bev: I like him too...
I haven't had this much fun in years....
Bev: OMGosh he looks so great in his scrubs...
Me : I know right look at his chest muscles ...(I'm smitten what can I say)
Bev: Does he have a big Penis?
Me: Bev you have no limits do you? I haven't had sex with the guy yet, but ummmmm
I have seen him in spandex (don't ask something about spin class with me). Well I am a Nurse so I did offer a testicle check...Is that so wrong?
Bev: No not wrong at all... I concur after all isn't that what we went to nursing school for?
Me: Yes, that is what I went to nursing for... I did get my boobs grabbed..score...
Bev: I like him too...
Saturday, March 14, 2009
Thursday, March 12, 2009
Let me tell you a great way to impress the guy...
You can impress him by...
Going to play volleyball with his friends and hit all the balls in the tree...
Yeap, that's me cool, hip, athletic, chick, non-able-to-server-the ball-for-she'it-but-all-you-got-to-be-is-pretty-chick...
He was so gracious, telling me he thought it was sweet that I dove for the ball even if I was nowhere near, near the ball ;)...Oh yeah I can take it go ahead
Coarse they made fun with me...His friends were hilarious and I cracked up the whole entire 4 games that we played...
Yep, we lost every game and I'm a little bruised and my hip a little sore...
But, not all was lost. I had more fun last night and laughed more than I have in years...
Darn foiled I do like him...
Going to play volleyball with his friends and hit all the balls in the tree...
Yeap, that's me cool, hip, athletic, chick, non-able-to-server-the ball-for-she'it-but-all-you-got-to-be-is-pretty-chick...
He was so gracious, telling me he thought it was sweet that I dove for the ball even if I was nowhere near, near the ball ;)...Oh yeah I can take it go ahead
Coarse they made fun with me...His friends were hilarious and I cracked up the whole entire 4 games that we played...
Yep, we lost every game and I'm a little bruised and my hip a little sore...
But, not all was lost. I had more fun last night and laughed more than I have in years...
Darn foiled I do like him...
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
Sorry Puppie who knew...
Don't give your Dog cheese...
I gave my little Cece diarrhea..
then she wiped her butt on my Dad's pants...
I gave my little Cece diarrhea..
then she wiped her butt on my Dad's pants...
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
In the circle....and so much more...
(Circle of friends ...kind of a special thing. Bev is a part of my circle, a kind of even if... love, friendship that never dies no matter what)
What do you mean Bev?
(She clearly thinks I'm in denial)
I knew it, You like him...
(She's smiling at me from across the table at lunch)
What are you talking about?
(Now I'm blushing)
I can tell by the way you talk about him...
What? hu? what? I have no idea what your talking about? My heart is still a stone...rock hard (no pun intended) I say to her smiling...
Okay, Okay...sheesh I can admit that I like him (laser guy) just a hair, Just a smidgen. I tell her he makes me laugh, and softens my heart just a little bit around the edges. Did I just admit that out loud? He doesn't mind being a part of my story...that's what life about writing our own stories? I hope so no regrets, and never never look back.
He has a kind heart, he handsome...dirty blond hair, blue-green eyes, big biceps brachi (and he know's what that means), every time we talk he is sure to mention Balls;) (a favorite subject for me to talk about as you all very well know).
What did I tell Bev? He's got skills...
I warned him my heart is still hard as a rock and he replied, "but I'm paper"
Awe, he's paper...
What do you mean Bev?
(She clearly thinks I'm in denial)
I knew it, You like him...
(She's smiling at me from across the table at lunch)
What are you talking about?
(Now I'm blushing)
I can tell by the way you talk about him...
What? hu? what? I have no idea what your talking about? My heart is still a stone...rock hard (no pun intended) I say to her smiling...
Okay, Okay...sheesh I can admit that I like him (laser guy) just a hair, Just a smidgen. I tell her he makes me laugh, and softens my heart just a little bit around the edges. Did I just admit that out loud? He doesn't mind being a part of my story...that's what life about writing our own stories? I hope so no regrets, and never never look back.
He has a kind heart, he handsome...dirty blond hair, blue-green eyes, big biceps brachi (and he know's what that means), every time we talk he is sure to mention Balls;) (a favorite subject for me to talk about as you all very well know).
What did I tell Bev? He's got skills...
I warned him my heart is still hard as a rock and he replied, "but I'm paper"
Awe, he's paper...
Saturday, March 07, 2009
Monday, March 02, 2009
Can I get off the computer please....
School has been so demanding I haven't even had time to watch porn on the computer.
In an effort to keep myself from loosing my eye sight I have been hanging out with my old friend who works with lasers. He makes me laugh and I am thinking of letting him feel up my boobs since I haven't seen Bev for a week ;) Anywho, Bev always thinks I should hook up with a Dr. and a Dr. that she might benefit from in some way or the other. Crazy girl...
So, Laser guy and I were hanging out the other night and Bev called. She wanted to know about the Vagina laser procedures that he preforms...Great Bev just what I wanted to talk about whilst I am thinking of making out with the guy your Vagggnnn. Whilst on speaker phone she wants to know if it is normal to when you have a bowel movement and you push out your ummmm...
(this is not for the faint of heart) Tampon...
Well thanks Bev sure now she has an appointment with laser guy but I never did get my boobs felt up...
Darn foiled again.....
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
I'm Home....
I'm staying out of trouble I swear..
Okay maybe in a little trouble but then trouble is my middle name...
I promise to get into the details later. I hate to put you on the spot and not give in but I got a ton of homework to finish...
I did get a new puppy to fill my heart with love and so far she has been wonderful...
Cece Bloom after the movie Beaches...
My Friends have been amazing and have given me soo much love...
and of coarse that includes all of my blogger friends...
Bev picked me up from the airport...grabbed my boob and took me home..
I thought man that was a cheap ride home;)
Okay maybe in a little trouble but then trouble is my middle name...
I promise to get into the details later. I hate to put you on the spot and not give in but I got a ton of homework to finish...
I did get a new puppy to fill my heart with love and so far she has been wonderful...
Cece Bloom after the movie Beaches...
My Friends have been amazing and have given me soo much love...
and of coarse that includes all of my blogger friends...
Bev picked me up from the airport...grabbed my boob and took me home..
I thought man that was a cheap ride home;)
Sunday, February 15, 2009
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
I'm feeling kinda naughty today...
I know to much pent up energy...
Today was the first day of class...
What have I got myself into?? is what I kept asking myself...
Coarse the teacher kept saying, " I know your probably asking yourself what have you got yourself into?? "What is she a mind reader too?
I am hoping that this too shall pass...
Until then Should I call Dr. Goldenrod for some love?
I'm just asking?
Today was the first day of class...
What have I got myself into?? is what I kept asking myself...
Coarse the teacher kept saying, " I know your probably asking yourself what have you got yourself into?? "What is she a mind reader too?
I am hoping that this too shall pass...
Until then Should I call Dr. Goldenrod for some love?
I'm just asking?
Sorry I have been caught up in the moment...
Caught up in the moment I say...
For instance, I am a amazed that I haven't had to shave the danger area after waxing it...Oh yeah!
The redness gone away, but it is out of commission for now ...Darn No one to even feel up my boobs either. I tell you it is a crime...It's an injustice, I mean really...coarse all my friends are willing to help a sister out....I'm considering it.
Caught up in the moment of hanging out with my friends like Jeff ( the youngest fire captain in the valley of the sun) only to hang out with him and then and then he calls into work in the morning running late...Jeff says, " I know I am the Captain and everything but I tided one on last night" Yeap that's my boy!!! Porque he was late but he still made it in...
Nights of Patronious reminding me that although my heart is hurting right now, but "The Iron, the iron will always be there" Thanks Phil...
Caught up in the moment of spin class where all the guys in the class are hot but not interested in me since they are interested in the other hot boyz in the class...and and they talk about prostates as if we are in the urologist office I'm just saying...
Caught up in the moment of Working on papers that I have no idea how to write...hey listen I can write about the gross areas that my fingers have been, but it is hard to write about business...What does writing papers have to do about business anyway... I mean really all you have to be is pretty right?
Caught up in the moment of hanging out with my Medically minded friend who tells me if I marry Him that all I got to be is pretty...Hmmmm I am taking that in concideration.
For instance, I am a amazed that I haven't had to shave the danger area after waxing it...Oh yeah!
The redness gone away, but it is out of commission for now ...Darn No one to even feel up my boobs either. I tell you it is a crime...It's an injustice, I mean really...coarse all my friends are willing to help a sister out....I'm considering it.
Caught up in the moment of hanging out with my friends like Jeff ( the youngest fire captain in the valley of the sun) only to hang out with him and then and then he calls into work in the morning running late...Jeff says, " I know I am the Captain and everything but I tided one on last night" Yeap that's my boy!!! Porque he was late but he still made it in...
Nights of Patronious reminding me that although my heart is hurting right now, but "The Iron, the iron will always be there" Thanks Phil...
Caught up in the moment of spin class where all the guys in the class are hot but not interested in me since they are interested in the other hot boyz in the class...and and they talk about prostates as if we are in the urologist office I'm just saying...
Caught up in the moment of Working on papers that I have no idea how to write...hey listen I can write about the gross areas that my fingers have been, but it is hard to write about business...What does writing papers have to do about business anyway... I mean really all you have to be is pretty right?
Caught up in the moment of hanging out with my Medically minded friend who tells me if I marry Him that all I got to be is pretty...Hmmmm I am taking that in concideration.
Tuesday, February 03, 2009
Waxed...
What was I thinking, Oh it must have been how can I torture my self today. So, I got this bright idea to wax everything...
Well, I had no idea that the wax was hair removal/ face peel.
Sheesh...
I'm red everywhere...
Oh and I mean everywhere..
ouchhh...
Well, I had no idea that the wax was hair removal/ face peel.
Sheesh...
I'm red everywhere...
Oh and I mean everywhere..
ouchhh...
Saturday, January 31, 2009
Great Gads can it be???
I can't believe it I haven't seen this person in years...
No it can't be then I squint to look at the last name again that is in front of me...
I mean I just wrote about this like last month and I have never written about her...
My girlfriend the one I went to Florida with, and the girl that I have had the most fun with ever has just gotten in touch with me...
Ohhh look out she's single...
Oh the stories I could tell of our fun...
I'll let you know how it goes...
and then we dance....
No it can't be then I squint to look at the last name again that is in front of me...
I mean I just wrote about this like last month and I have never written about her...
My girlfriend the one I went to Florida with, and the girl that I have had the most fun with ever has just gotten in touch with me...
Ohhh look out she's single...
Oh the stories I could tell of our fun...
I'll let you know how it goes...
and then we dance....
Thursday, January 29, 2009
Getting over Engineer Guy...Why is it so hard...
It's hard to be funny, charming and somewhat shocking ( what all you have to be is pretty right? ) when my days are filled with some what of a sadness so deep it hits me deep into my bones...
For that I have been taking Calcium thinking that the calcium will fill in the holes...
So far it is not working but I will keep on trying...
I was thinking of drinking some wine till I saw "Dr.G the Medical Examiner" and she was talking about how alcohol makes your liver fat....
I don't want to be fat even if it's my liver I know very vain right? but it is me we are talking about.
I guess it is true you can't have it all, but at least I have all of you to make me smile on a regular basis. I looked at all my blogger friends today and found some new friends...No no I wasn't cheating on you at all I swear! Just trying to entertain myself and keep my mind off my sadness.
Thanks for listening. Tomorrows blog will be up beat I swear I might even talk about Dr. Goldenrod....He loves me....(I plucked a petal) He loves me not...
For that I have been taking Calcium thinking that the calcium will fill in the holes...
So far it is not working but I will keep on trying...
I was thinking of drinking some wine till I saw "Dr.G the Medical Examiner" and she was talking about how alcohol makes your liver fat....
I don't want to be fat even if it's my liver I know very vain right? but it is me we are talking about.
I guess it is true you can't have it all, but at least I have all of you to make me smile on a regular basis. I looked at all my blogger friends today and found some new friends...No no I wasn't cheating on you at all I swear! Just trying to entertain myself and keep my mind off my sadness.
Thanks for listening. Tomorrows blog will be up beat I swear I might even talk about Dr. Goldenrod....He loves me....(I plucked a petal) He loves me not...
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
Comb by ya.....
I got my arse kicked today in spin class...
What can I say I like to torture myself...
I've be thinking...I know it is a stretch but my days are filled with moving into the ghetto and having dreams of meth addicts breaking in my house and then and then I have to pull out a UFC move and kick their arses!!!
Since I have not been working as a nurse I have missed grabbing balls and asking the patients to cough...what did they come into the ER you ask?? An infected toenail but I like to be throe you know you never know. I am not sure what I am looking for but I like to make the handsome guys cough. Is that so wrong??
School starts Feb 9th and with an MBA I can't grab the balls anymore. I panicked, but then I remembered I can always work as a nurse helping the Cardiologist grow his business and grab all the balls I want...
Life can be sweet!!!
What can I say I like to torture myself...
I've be thinking...I know it is a stretch but my days are filled with moving into the ghetto and having dreams of meth addicts breaking in my house and then and then I have to pull out a UFC move and kick their arses!!!
Since I have not been working as a nurse I have missed grabbing balls and asking the patients to cough...what did they come into the ER you ask?? An infected toenail but I like to be throe you know you never know. I am not sure what I am looking for but I like to make the handsome guys cough. Is that so wrong??
School starts Feb 9th and with an MBA I can't grab the balls anymore. I panicked, but then I remembered I can always work as a nurse helping the Cardiologist grow his business and grab all the balls I want...
Life can be sweet!!!
Sunday, January 25, 2009
Friday, January 23, 2009
I'm nursing the hangover...
Out with a old friend last night and out to my old stomping grounds I'm nursing a hangover.
I know what was I thinking?
More later I got to drink some more tomato juice or get an IV or something...
I know what was I thinking?
More later I got to drink some more tomato juice or get an IV or something...
Monday, January 19, 2009
Speaking of new beginings...
Happy Birthday Martin Luther King Jr.
You gave us hope and I know your smiling down from heaven to know that Obama is presendent!
"Free at last thank God almighty Free at Last"
You gave us hope and I know your smiling down from heaven to know that Obama is presendent!
"Free at last thank God almighty Free at Last"
I'm getting pampered today finally...
Today I am going to the much needed spa with my girlfriend...
Yes, full body massage, and I am hoping it is from a foreign man who doesn't speak English so I can tell him not to talk but to just look pretty... I am going to tell him to massage my butt mostly is that wrong?
Then spin class tonight I am getting my butt to stand up on its own..
I need you blogger friends you are a part of my life and I look forward to hearing about yours. Blogging has helped me through so much the good the bad and the sexual...
Thank you so much for your constant commitments to share in my experiences. At least I know that people love me inspite of all of my miscomings and it is wonderful!!!
I love all of you all,
Amie
Yes, full body massage, and I am hoping it is from a foreign man who doesn't speak English so I can tell him not to talk but to just look pretty... I am going to tell him to massage my butt mostly is that wrong?
Then spin class tonight I am getting my butt to stand up on its own..
I need you blogger friends you are a part of my life and I look forward to hearing about yours. Blogging has helped me through so much the good the bad and the sexual...
Thank you so much for your constant commitments to share in my experiences. At least I know that people love me inspite of all of my miscomings and it is wonderful!!!
I love all of you all,
Amie
Sunday, January 18, 2009
I'm going undercover...
This year is going to be a change for me where I am going to focus on me and not saving everyone else. I am going undercover whilst I finish my MBA. I have decided to write a book. I am moving out to a very small apt in the down town area. I am going to find a story and write about it. I find people fascinating and I know they all have a story to tell...
Last night I went out with my fabulous girlfriend dancing the night away and I think I am going to be okay. We were just about each other but the men where wondering how the guys could let us out...
What guys? I'm free and even though she is married she is free to do what every she wants..Right
I am all about empowerment...
Change in the near future I am hopeful...
Last night I went out with my fabulous girlfriend dancing the night away and I think I am going to be okay. We were just about each other but the men where wondering how the guys could let us out...
What guys? I'm free and even though she is married she is free to do what every she wants..Right
I am all about empowerment...
Change in the near future I am hopeful...
Wednesday, January 14, 2009
Bored...
I'm Bored out of my mind...
I can't watch anymore trashy TV, I can't read anymore news articals..
Bored...
Must drink wine and get back with you...
Bored...
I can't watch anymore trashy TV, I can't read anymore news articals..
Bored...
Must drink wine and get back with you...
Bored...
Thursday, January 08, 2009
This post is coming from a slightly intoxicated account but I'm writing this for Doggie
Picture it...
My birthday is in march usually around spring break, and I was fortunate enough to have a FUN FUN girlfriend "Kristin" who was up for anything.
So, my three-O birthday was coming up and I called my girlfriend Kristen and asked her if she would meet me in Florida. (At the time I was dating this guy who lived in Florida, but spent more time in Dallas (were I lived) than where he lived.) As a birthday gift he would fly my girlfriend out to Florida, and I plus he would rent us a car so that we could drive all over Florida chasing our florida dreams, we would meet him half way through our vacay at his condo off the beach...
You see where I am coming from right...
How lucky was I at that time??? We would drive to clearwater, then to coco beach then on to Miami!!! Sweet where we plegde to each other that we would indeed go to South Beach and then dare each other to go topless...
I was stoked...
Florida here we come...
You will have to tune in for our trip to Miami, but let me tell you clearwater was the bomb...
Let me just say that Clearwater is very safe and we stayed in a Mom and Pop type of establishment. The owner's son told us, " just because it is spring break you can't bring any gentalmen callers to the room the people that live here at the motel can't handle it"...
Really okay we are together "wink, wink " if you know what I mean...coarse we were pulling his leg... but it was all about the fun!!! We were and still are not the kind of girls to hook up with guys for spring break or for any other reason for that matter.
Which comes to the last night that we stayed at the motel. Some how by miracle we made it back to the hotel safe and sound. I took off my bikini and put on my robe and passed out onto our single bed that we were sharing. I then kkfind myself waking up the the sound of my drunk girlfriend naked carried by the owners son into our room...
Hu? apparently my girlfriend got sick in the night and decided to go outside for a vomit, when neighbors complained the son came to the resue. I am sure that he saw both of us buck naked me with an open robe and well the BFF in her birthday suit...
and here it was my birthday...
My birthday is in march usually around spring break, and I was fortunate enough to have a FUN FUN girlfriend "Kristin" who was up for anything.
So, my three-O birthday was coming up and I called my girlfriend Kristen and asked her if she would meet me in Florida. (At the time I was dating this guy who lived in Florida, but spent more time in Dallas (were I lived) than where he lived.) As a birthday gift he would fly my girlfriend out to Florida, and I plus he would rent us a car so that we could drive all over Florida chasing our florida dreams, we would meet him half way through our vacay at his condo off the beach...
You see where I am coming from right...
How lucky was I at that time??? We would drive to clearwater, then to coco beach then on to Miami!!! Sweet where we plegde to each other that we would indeed go to South Beach and then dare each other to go topless...
I was stoked...
Florida here we come...
You will have to tune in for our trip to Miami, but let me tell you clearwater was the bomb...
Let me just say that Clearwater is very safe and we stayed in a Mom and Pop type of establishment. The owner's son told us, " just because it is spring break you can't bring any gentalmen callers to the room the people that live here at the motel can't handle it"...
Really okay we are together "wink, wink " if you know what I mean...coarse we were pulling his leg... but it was all about the fun!!! We were and still are not the kind of girls to hook up with guys for spring break or for any other reason for that matter.
Which comes to the last night that we stayed at the motel. Some how by miracle we made it back to the hotel safe and sound. I took off my bikini and put on my robe and passed out onto our single bed that we were sharing. I then kkfind myself waking up the the sound of my drunk girlfriend naked carried by the owners son into our room...
Hu? apparently my girlfriend got sick in the night and decided to go outside for a vomit, when neighbors complained the son came to the resue. I am sure that he saw both of us buck naked me with an open robe and well the BFF in her birthday suit...
and here it was my birthday...
Monday, January 05, 2009
Hoping I don't look like a deer in headlights...
Sunday, January 04, 2009
Why do men have nipples???
I am on the never end search for the truth about men...
Something you should know about me is that I have had strange men's Penis in my hands...
I know but it was too late to quit nursing school before this revealing skill was placed in my hands...did I just type that out loud, and no pun intended...
I would like to just say for the record that from what I have seen that men'z peni has nothing to do with the size of their hands or feet...
and ummmm nahhh I can't even say it I am still shy!!!I love all of you out their in blog land
Something you should know about me is that I have had strange men's Penis in my hands...
I know but it was too late to quit nursing school before this revealing skill was placed in my hands...did I just type that out loud, and no pun intended...
I would like to just say for the record that from what I have seen that men'z peni has nothing to do with the size of their hands or feet...
and ummmm nahhh I can't even say it I am still shy!!!I love all of you out their in blog land
Thursday, January 01, 2009
Happy New Year...
Okay this is a first for me...
I am not drunk or I have not even had a drink of alcohol believe that??
Happy New Year to all of my peeps I wish you the very best!!!
I love all of you and I am thankful that you are in my life!!!
xoxoxoxox
Darn girl
I am not drunk or I have not even had a drink of alcohol believe that??
Happy New Year to all of my peeps I wish you the very best!!!
I love all of you and I am thankful that you are in my life!!!
xoxoxoxox
Darn girl
Sunday, December 28, 2008
Random Shi'et that I am forced to tell by my brain...
My Grandma grew-up in a very Mormon household and was married by the time She was 18yrs. old. She has been married to my Grandpa for 60yrs. Most of that time they have adhered to most of the strict beliefs that the church demanded of them. However, my Grandpa smoked behind the churches back and kept a bottle of whisky in the bedside table for medicinal purposes only.(sometimes Grandma drove him crazy) They both never drank their whole life and still don't but Grandpa would take a swig every now and then if He were stressed enough. Nothing wrong with that but I have to say that the grandchildren like to get a rise out of my sweet Grandma every-now-and-then because she is still so innocent. This weekend Pop and I bought a movie thinking that the old folk don't get out much so to entertain ourselves and to spend some quality time with them we could all watch a movie.
Along came Polly sounded innocent enough, not according to my Grandma. Keep in mind she watched the whole movie even when I had my eyes closed some of the time; I even cringed at times because I just thought it would be way to scandalous for her. I didn't want to give her a heart attach or cause her blood sugar to rise at a deadly level. Hey they are old and Grandpa threatens to die on us all the time usually to milk all the attention he can get especially from Grandma (he agrees with this).
After the movie ended Grandma said, a woman married 60 yrs. never see a naked rear end, especially not a young naked butt! I think she was trying to give me a heart attack. My jaw dropped. She smiled and Grandpa stayed up with her whilst we went to bed. Grandpa sleeps in their room and she sleeps on the couch, but I'm thinking Grandma might have gotten a little fresh with Grandpa. Maybe he even got to pull his nasal cannula from his oxygen tank to the side for a little kiss action.
*Please note that while this is a true story mostly, my family has a wonderful sense of humor and this is to be taken lightly. They found it funny and know my sense of humor. No one was offended by this post and if you are I'm sorry you take life too seriously.
Happy New Year...another year and many more post to come I hope a glimpse in my life of that darn girl can bring you a little piece of happiness ;)
Along came Polly sounded innocent enough, not according to my Grandma. Keep in mind she watched the whole movie even when I had my eyes closed some of the time; I even cringed at times because I just thought it would be way to scandalous for her. I didn't want to give her a heart attach or cause her blood sugar to rise at a deadly level. Hey they are old and Grandpa threatens to die on us all the time usually to milk all the attention he can get especially from Grandma (he agrees with this).
After the movie ended Grandma said, a woman married 60 yrs. never see a naked rear end, especially not a young naked butt! I think she was trying to give me a heart attack. My jaw dropped. She smiled and Grandpa stayed up with her whilst we went to bed. Grandpa sleeps in their room and she sleeps on the couch, but I'm thinking Grandma might have gotten a little fresh with Grandpa. Maybe he even got to pull his nasal cannula from his oxygen tank to the side for a little kiss action.
*Please note that while this is a true story mostly, my family has a wonderful sense of humor and this is to be taken lightly. They found it funny and know my sense of humor. No one was offended by this post and if you are I'm sorry you take life too seriously.
Happy New Year...another year and many more post to come I hope a glimpse in my life of that darn girl can bring you a little piece of happiness ;)
Friday, December 19, 2008
I can't believe it I am turning into my Ma...

A Pic of Ma and my sister... Ma's DogI woke up this morning at 4:00 am looked into the mirror and Screamed...
I am starting to look like my Ma and not only that I have turned into her too..
My Ma had a pill for everything.
You have a cold, put some vics in your nose and take a B vitamin...
You have an ear infection, put some vics and take a B vitamin...
You have upset stomach, put some vics and peptobismo...
My version (my poor child he has a neurotic mother that is a nurse)..
Kid did you poop today...He says," Ma" No...
No worries I got a pill..here take this stool softener...
Kid how many times did you pee today and what color was it...(the kid doesn't drink enough water so I am neurotic and think he will die of dehydration) The kid says, "Ma" 2 times and it was yellow...Me "all day" OMGOsh...I got water with crystal light lemonade in it...drink up...
What you have a huge pimple... I got a tube of anit-pimple cream let me pick it and put some vic up your nose...
It's tragic...It can't be...I said I would never turn into her...
At least I don't walk around with a shirt in the house that is slit all the way down both sides sos she can torture my sister & I or anyone that we might bring to the house...
She's obsessed with showing off her great boobs..
I would never be like that...
I mean really does it sound like me to talk about my boobs and show them off?? Really?
Thursday, December 18, 2008
Engineer guys 31ar birthday bash...

Out to dinner with Engineer guy, his brother and girlfriend. We made them sing Happy birthday to him and then we went to the comedy club to see last comic standing winner Alonzo Bodden..
He was a trooper and happily mentioned Engineer guy's birthday to the crowd.
One day at a time...
Happy Holidays to all...
Wednesday, December 17, 2008
And these are the days of my life..
Whilst being at stay at home goddess (no job yet but I am working on it) I have been trying to be exciting seems like my days are dull compared to what they used to be like. Good thing I have great friends that just happen to live crazy lives and then share them with me.
read on and be wowed...
udes
So the smooth kitty kronicals are in full swing, First of all It is amazing that i made it here! Ran 2 freaking Miles (felt like 10) with my 40lb backpack on arriving at my connecting flight in Atlanta, GA as they were closing the gate! So looking like a wet dog! Oh sexy girlfriend! yea. So my kitesurf gear obviously did not make it but I did yea! Thank god, I had my first date set up for Thursday night! I slept all day until 6 pm the time change was and still is a bitch! 8 hour difference. from Maui, I want to sleep all day and party all night, he he...
I finally dragged my ass out of bed and went for a walk around the neighborhood and went shopping for food. Made it back to hostel in time for a shower and realized that it was almost 930 pm shit the sun was still up it's summer duh! My date, er I mean first victim... Juli picked me up at my hostel and we went to some bar called liquid! Got drunk (shocker I know) and some random guy grabbed my ass Juli defending my honor (ha ha) I know he did not know me yet! Got in a fight and we all got kicked out of the club at 2:30am damn time flys!
read on and be wowed...
udes
So the smooth kitty kronicals are in full swing, First of all It is amazing that i made it here! Ran 2 freaking Miles (felt like 10) with my 40lb backpack on arriving at my connecting flight in Atlanta, GA as they were closing the gate! So looking like a wet dog! Oh sexy girlfriend! yea. So my kitesurf gear obviously did not make it but I did yea! Thank god, I had my first date set up for Thursday night! I slept all day until 6 pm the time change was and still is a bitch! 8 hour difference. from Maui, I want to sleep all day and party all night, he he...
I finally dragged my ass out of bed and went for a walk around the neighborhood and went shopping for food. Made it back to hostel in time for a shower and realized that it was almost 930 pm shit the sun was still up it's summer duh! My date, er I mean first victim... Juli picked me up at my hostel and we went to some bar called liquid! Got drunk (shocker I know) and some random guy grabbed my ass Juli defending my honor (ha ha) I know he did not know me yet! Got in a fight and we all got kicked out of the club at 2:30am damn time flys!
Got invited ok should I say Sexnapped back to his apt I was thinking I should play hard to get, then logic and reason went out the window when he started kissing me and holding his hot did I say hot, fucking ripped body against me! Plus, his cologne I think it is called wet panties in English! Damn yea so score is USA 2 ARG 0, only 24 hrs in he he. I am here for a good time not a long time right. Ok so he lied, he said he would give me a ride home In the am ha ha! I think that is the first time I have done the walk of shame in buenos aires ha ha. At least the hostel was close, only a few blocks from his place. I Could not care had fun he was hung and has a beautiful body, so sexy nice juicy uncut cock. I swear the more research I do, I am never going back to uncut men.. It seriously takes off at least an inch or more, idiots, I think I will start a cause against circumsizing penis.. Poor guys...
I went for a run in the park Sat and realized how grateful I am to be here and be able to have the lifestyle I have. Freedom is the most amazing gift you can have. The ability and choice to do what ever you want where ever you when ever you want. YES! I jogged past to lovers in the park making out, here it is ok and accepted to have public display of affection I love that no shame here. I jogged past them over an hour later and they were still at it. Love this city. Also the technology still stuck in the past a bit here, A small girl was roller skateing on a pair of old, i mean old skates, like they were metal with the straps to tie to your shoes. Think way way back, before inline skates. She was so happy rocking out with her rollerskates. Makes me appreciate all the freaking toys I have, typing out emails on my goddamn phone, how do you say spoiled! Yes I spoil myself why because no one else is going to! fuck it only live once enjoy it every day.. Go big... I also love how much attention I get here. I feel like I am naked all the time. All the men look when me a white blond girl runs by.. freaking so awesome for the ego, especial since I was feeling like matilda the hunt in Maui. No love dry spell from hell, I swear I felt fat and ugly there and I know I was hella active. At least here the men have egos so big here they are not threatened by me.. hehe How does an Argentine man kill himself, he jumps off his ego.. he he
How do you say next, oh yes his name is Diego my new baby daddy, he he and I am going to meet him and his family tomorrow! What the fuck Day 2 first date with him and his family, RED FLAGS ANYONE? Oh then pablo (no I AM not seeing him again, he wants me and he can not have me na na na na) but he got me into the world polo finals tomorrow afternoon my out worse case! Yea so all is well! I am happy safe and unwound! Happy kitty meow..Woo hoo
Ok update now day 5 Monday, opps I lost track of time fast here, shit. So Date with Diego was umm interesting. If your ok with meeting the parents who do not speak english and your spanglish which sucks ass, well it was quite the experience. One for the books I can now say I met the parents on a first date, bizzare.. But Diego, is well hot, amazing body, built like a rugby player, huge and wide, and he hem hung, I swear I really really tryed to not have sex on the first date but hell since he wants to have my kid. I figured I should see what I would be dealing with, Yea Argentina 1 USA 3.. Ok I smiled all day took all the damn questions ( like, do I cook? Could I be faithful? he he how old am I, Why am I still single? Hell I dont know? What am I doing for Christmas, do I want to spend it with him and his family, do I want to move in with him and stay at his apt. HELLO, I just met this guy except for brief chats online.. Is your mouth hanging open, yea mine too) and drilling with a grain of salt. But when he asked me for my papers I could not help but laugh,... Seriously, the funny part was he was dead serious. My clean bill of health.. Ok I know I have a twisted sense of humor but damn. Imagine you just met the most beautiful man and he says I would like to imagine having a child with you, your skin, your eyes are so beautiful, you have such a great body. Oh by the way are you HIV neg or pos HELLO SCREEEECH... Brakes, where the hell is the exit, I was like yea I am clean what about you? did you say hepatitis? What? was that a joke, Oh you have a pacemaker and your 38 and your biological clock is ticking louder than mine. more like a landmine.. wow.... So how was your day? Heavy or lighter than mine? Any way went and watched fireworks in downdown and stayed at his very nice apt and tryed not to sleep with him but he decided to sleep naked next to me, mary penis torcher chamber. ahh yea so you know me, woke up at 330 am with a gianormous shlong next to me and I accidentally fell on it trying to get up and use the bathroom missed the bidet.. oopss my bad.
I figure that is the best way not to get a second date here in Argentina, as the men have no respect for women who put out on the first date. And since I have no respect for men (they all lie to or say anything to fuck) I think we are even. So I am sure I will not hear from him again. we will see I will keep you updated. I think He is OCD. Overthinker for sure. Way heavy machismo, man looking for his mom to take care of him and raise a family.. He he Yea sign me up, but he said he wants to go to tahiti with me we will see if that is bull shit, are you seeing the same kind of a trend as me here. The men talk all sweet and when they open there mouth its all bullshit.. sounds good smells like shit.
At least he had a beautiful cock to back up the shit and his thighs and body linebacker, I was MIA underneath him...... he he Next...
Ok so Sunday, A day of rest for me, and today I walked all over the damn city trying to figure out where I could launch my kitesurfing gear and realized how freaking spoiled I was in Maui.. here the water is so gross I am getting sick already and I have not even touched. it I took some pictures I will post on the blog, since that is public you can see the trash in the soup that looks like chocolate poop water. eeeuuuuu
Love your mugs, hope this first bit of crazy smooth kitty vag chronicals brightens your day. More to come, I am lining up dates with Fernando for seconds from last time I was here, yummie hotel by the hour adventure. And with Sebastian the hottie singer. Can not wait to see him perform. Maybe a personal performance after show show... Also looking forward to the Stripper, also have a clingon at the end of the world in Ushuaia Diego no. 2... And German in Rodeo to go kitesurfing with. Should be an interesting week(month) lets see who wants to go home with Mary???, Since I can not take a spanish class this week, the damn school I signed up with went out of business since um 4 months ago.. WTF??? Well at least Aunt flo decided to wait a few days before benching smooth kitty for an involuntary time out...
MEOWWWWW
XO
Crazy
Crazy
Thursday, December 04, 2008
Finding the funny...
Today I was talking to a friend on the phone that makes me crack up..
We love to talk about our families...
His eating pigeon during the depression (he will only admit to his grandparents eating it) and mine eating squirrel (what can I say they are from the country)
So, I asked him how work was last night and then he told the story...
It goes something like this..
He was a work (he has a history of being very clumsy) a trait that I think builds his character...
He was suppose to be wearing black dress pants for serving people...
Well I guess he always goes commando and happen to bend down and catch his pant pocket to the corner of the bar....as you may guess he tore the pocket down to the zipper and his balls fell out...
I am assuming that his whole package fell out but he spared me the dirty little details...
Turns out his boss is some what of a Hitler type so He made him put on Yellow rain rubber pants to serve the rest of the night....
I cracked up laughing at the thought of him ripping his pants while serving drinks to people at a baseball game...they got a little more than they bargained for..
I hope he at least shaved....
We love to talk about our families...
His eating pigeon during the depression (he will only admit to his grandparents eating it) and mine eating squirrel (what can I say they are from the country)
So, I asked him how work was last night and then he told the story...
It goes something like this..
He was a work (he has a history of being very clumsy) a trait that I think builds his character...
He was suppose to be wearing black dress pants for serving people...
Well I guess he always goes commando and happen to bend down and catch his pant pocket to the corner of the bar....as you may guess he tore the pocket down to the zipper and his balls fell out...
I am assuming that his whole package fell out but he spared me the dirty little details...
Turns out his boss is some what of a Hitler type so He made him put on Yellow rain rubber pants to serve the rest of the night....
I cracked up laughing at the thought of him ripping his pants while serving drinks to people at a baseball game...they got a little more than they bargained for..
I hope he at least shaved....
Tuesday, December 02, 2008
The signs are there you just have to see them...
Whilst working hard at not having a job today I came upon a blog that was sales driven. It stated, "The signs are all there you just have to see them" . I am looking for signs that will point me in the right direction to finding the job that is right for me...
Well I must be blind because I don't see any signs right now...
I looked under the covers...
I looked under the bed...
I asked the people I live with if they have seen any signs..
I looked in my car...
Nope Nothing I got nothing...
No worries I will continue to search for that dang sign but it is tiring let me tell ya!
Well I must be blind because I don't see any signs right now...
I looked under the covers...
I looked under the bed...
I asked the people I live with if they have seen any signs..
I looked in my car...
Nope Nothing I got nothing...
No worries I will continue to search for that dang sign but it is tiring let me tell ya!
Saturday, November 29, 2008
Will I ever get it right??
I'm on a mission now this is not any mission it is like FBI style...
Seriously, I know you all can keep a secret I am a former agent of sorts..
Now I can't tell you what agency I worked for because then I would compromise my famliy..
But...it was serious
Think like Borne Ultimatum...Jason Borne but I'm a girl...
I'm on a mission to find love and the body I had last year...
So, like anything in my life I am taking it balls to the wall..
I need a plan that is what I need...
for this plan I must like figure out what it is that I want from a man?
I would like just the basics that every other woman wants..
Friendship...
Lots of affection...
and well that about sums it up..
well there is more I know but since I haven't had either of these is a very long time they are the ones that come to mind...
as for the work out and body I am working on it daily...
I even did handstands today now that it commitment...
More on scoring later and that former agency that I worked for...
Seriously, I know you all can keep a secret I am a former agent of sorts..
Now I can't tell you what agency I worked for because then I would compromise my famliy..
But...it was serious
Think like Borne Ultimatum...Jason Borne but I'm a girl...
I'm on a mission to find love and the body I had last year...
So, like anything in my life I am taking it balls to the wall..
I need a plan that is what I need...
for this plan I must like figure out what it is that I want from a man?
I would like just the basics that every other woman wants..
Friendship...
Lots of affection...
and well that about sums it up..
well there is more I know but since I haven't had either of these is a very long time they are the ones that come to mind...
as for the work out and body I am working on it daily...
I even did handstands today now that it commitment...
More on scoring later and that former agency that I worked for...
Wednesday, November 26, 2008
Happy Holidays...What am I thankful for...
Happy Holidays all...
I will get back to my research for blogging later. For now I would like to say the things that I am thankful for even though this has been a very hard year for me. I say good riddens to 2008.
I am thankful for...
2009 and new beginnings...
I am thankful for my friends that have loved me even if...
I am thankful for a child that is amazing...
I am thankful for all of my blogger friends that help me keep my fame in my mind...
I am thankful for food on the table and for a father that believes in me no matter what...
I am thankful that I have a good relationship with my sister no matter how many fights we have gotten into over the years..We still love each other no matter what..
I am thankful that my brother-in-law came back from Iraq safe and sound. He made it though OCS yeah!!!
Monday, November 24, 2008
Research number 2...
Since I am not working at this time I have decided that I need to do research just like real writers..
When Engineer guy's roommate left to live with his soon to be wife he left his playboys...So I heard that that playboy has interesting editorials, but mostly I saw boobage and vagignass... Now I asked myself what is normal? hair or no hair??Then I asked myself how much sex is normal a week when you are in a monogamous relationship?? Once a week? twice a week or 3 times a week?? I don't know you tell me??
When Engineer guy's roommate left to live with his soon to be wife he left his playboys...So I heard that that playboy has interesting editorials, but mostly I saw boobage and vagignass... Now I asked myself what is normal? hair or no hair??Then I asked myself how much sex is normal a week when you are in a monogamous relationship?? Once a week? twice a week or 3 times a week?? I don't know you tell me??
Sunday, November 23, 2008
Research.....
Research in the name of love...
I have always been the girl to go to when having relationship problems. Why my friends think that I am worthy I have no idea??... especially since I am not about feelings when it comes to my own relationships. It seems that everyone is having relationship problems not only my girlfriends, but my guy friends as well. Let's take for instance Millionaire Parents guy...Now this guy is 25 yrs old, he is a paramedic firefighter and Captain of his crew. He is the the youngest Captain in the valley of the sun, and he is a loyal friend. His parents are millionaires but he is not snobby in the least and a very generous, kind , funny smart guy, so why can't he find love in the valley? He calls me to tell me about his resent break-up seems that the girl that he was dating and living with after only 7 months has a jealousy problem? Hu?? Seems that this girl is jealous of his past relationships? Run that by me again? She's jealous of your last girlfriend that you had before you knew her because you went on a cruise to Alaska? How is that even possible??She tells him that she doesn't like it when he hangs out with the gang at bars...Hu? What is wrong with her I wonder?? Here is this guy, wonderful sure he has some issues...He's not perfect but he is a great person...He asks me what I think?? Oh yeah right like I am the person to be asking relationship advise because I am so good at them right?? Well I can say that I wasn't jealous of Engineer guy's past girlfriends..Now I don't think it is healthy to talk about past possible loves, but there is no use in being jealous of something that was. He asks me what I loved so much about Engineer guy??Great he wants to talk about feelings...I tell him I knew that I would love him and he would love me that night he had me over to his house for dinner and ummmm dessert. It is hard to explain chemistry...it just is and well I am a hard nut to crack. Chemistry is difficult to find, I am very passionate about him. He is very smart, analytical and mathematical... things that I couldn't even fathom he is capable of. So, I guess opposites attract, I am la la girl boobs out at the parties we attended whilst he stood in the back round and allowed me to receive the thunder...I am very passionate about medicine...I live it, I breath it, and I am very passionate about my friendships. I guess that when two people love each other as much as I love Engineer guy you want to hold on to the very last thread, and I am not a quitter. It seems that for a while we were playing for different football teams...he for West Virgina and I for SMU...I told Millionaire parents guy that we only have one life...and life is way to precious to short to give up on love. What I have with Engineer guy is magical and what I love about him is simply him. We have to write our own stories, now that story can be one of love, friendship, amazing sex & intimacy with hope, loyalty and beauty a beauty that I have never felt before or it can be pessimistic. I choose beauty, so relationships are works in progress. With great love can be great pain but if it is worth it the pay off can be so rewarding. Now I know that I have been very cheesy in this blog but sometimes you just have to get it out. Jeff...She's out there you'll find her and when you do it won't be perfect but it will be beautiful...
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
And these are the days of my life...
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
On my way home alive
I'm on my way home...
check it with you later stay tuned to see pics of the first wives club and hear the tatered stories of my travel!!!
check it with you later stay tuned to see pics of the first wives club and hear the tatered stories of my travel!!!
Monday, November 17, 2008
Sorry for my absents...
After almost dieing from a GI bleed last week I think I have an ulcer. Go figure I would die from a GI bleed and not something more dramatic like gun shot wound. Needless to say I had to see the Dr. when I was with my high school friend that I haven't seen for 17 years... and and admit that the Dr. indeed violated me and put his finger in my tail. At least I got some pain medicine. The last time I was violated by my GYNO at the tender age of 23 yrs. old I asked my Ma is that normal for the GYNO to put his finger in my tail and she said yes...I saw no benefit from this and He didn't even offer me a shot of tequila. What kind of freaky stuff she is accustom to... I don't know because when I was older and asked my GYNO if this was normal during a paps smear HE stated and I quote, " I generally only use that tech for my geriatric patients" WHAT? Violated...With KY jelly at only 23. Not surprising that I know many different uses for KY jelly than the intended use.
If I ever felt like an old lady it is right now. I have been drinking down Milanta and eating Pilosec. Now there has to be something wrong with that picture. Hopefully it is just H-pilor that I might of picked up from Mexico since I find myself a worldly traveler since I have still not gotten a Job...Oh it is in the works...I'm intently looking for a sexologist job right now I know it is right the coroner i can feel it...No pun intended!
If I ever felt like an old lady it is right now. I have been drinking down Milanta and eating Pilosec. Now there has to be something wrong with that picture. Hopefully it is just H-pilor that I might of picked up from Mexico since I find myself a worldly traveler since I have still not gotten a Job...Oh it is in the works...I'm intently looking for a sexologist job right now I know it is right the coroner i can feel it...No pun intended!
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
Saturday, November 08, 2008
My New Job...
Whilst watching the boob tube the other day I noticed a job that I thought I'm a nurse I could totally do that. Being a nurse could be part of my credentials plus like I could like get a couple of written statements with signatures from the past Loves of my life "at the time Guy".
Sexologist...
It is not what your thinking...
It would be helping couples gain a better sense of intimacy...
and I would tell the wife to definitely flash boobage way more..
I got tons of Ideas..
It will be like I am always the brides maid and never the bride..
but tons of funnnnn!!
Sexologist...
It is not what your thinking...
It would be helping couples gain a better sense of intimacy...
and I would tell the wife to definitely flash boobage way more..
I got tons of Ideas..
It will be like I am always the brides maid and never the bride..
but tons of funnnnn!!
Thursday, November 06, 2008
Hey I am sending you all a shout out from San Diego. I have been letting the wind blow through my hair, eating all the bad food that I can get my hands on. Whilst walking though the San Diego Zoo I was reminded that last week I was trying so hard to make sure I worked out that I actually fell asleep on the elliptical. I know I was kind of in shock too but let me tell you what muscle memory can do for you. You can actually fall asleep with your feet and legs still moving. I thought I might call Guinness world record to see if anyone has attempted that fate. Let me know if you have a clue. Guinness here I come!!
Saturday, November 01, 2008
In the name of love..
Because I am famous in my mind I thought it appropriate to reveal some know or unknown facts about myself therefor sealing my fate as a famous person if it only in my mind.
1. My left big toe nail fell off. Due to my running the trails at a speed of a snail. My toenail bruised and then proceeded to pull away from me.
2. I am traumatized by my big toe nail situation. I only pulled the last of it off the other day and I have worn sock ever since to hide my ugly toe. I can't even get a pedicure and that is almost against the law.
3. Sometimes I obsess about the wrinkles that might appear on my forehead. I try and not wrinkle my eyes because I want to keep that fresh look about me. Aging is not a process that I am taking a liking to.
4. No secrete to thoughts that no me I think my boobs are my best physical feature and a source of many of my blog writings.
5. To my greatest fear I have become a lot like my mother. My mother has a pill for everything. So, I have a pill for everything. I take every know vitamin known to man. Got gas I got Beanno. Constipated I have fiber pills. Still constipated I got gloves and JY jelly for lubing you up. I have plenty of practice since I have been working as a nurse. Got heart burn I got zantac. Got nausea I got phenergan. Have asthma I have an albuterol inhaler.... and so on and so forth.
6. I can never shut off the nurse in me. Stub your toe I will baby you for comfort.
7. My family thinks sending me naked pictures of old women and men is funny. Why just this morning my cousin "big muscle guy" sent me a text wishing me a happy Halloween with an old naked woman. What I don't get is that this woman actually let someone take a picture of her. Maybe she wanted to be noticed for her wrinkled up body. Boobs deflated something to look forward to.
8. I am directionally challenged I get lost even with directions in front of me. I think that it is genetic.
9. My hair is my nemisis and it has been every color on the wheel. At times it has turned against me for coloring it so much.
10. I live by the Catholic girl code, if I don't remember it never happen.
11. In the name love I often have to suck it up and take one for the team. That includes putting myself in uncomfortable and unfamilar places for the people that I love. I know I am a marder. Usually there is nothing that I wouldn't do for my friends and that includes sticking my fingers into places for the sake of my hipocratic oath that I took the very day I became a nurse.
sincerely
Darn girl
1. My left big toe nail fell off. Due to my running the trails at a speed of a snail. My toenail bruised and then proceeded to pull away from me.
2. I am traumatized by my big toe nail situation. I only pulled the last of it off the other day and I have worn sock ever since to hide my ugly toe. I can't even get a pedicure and that is almost against the law.
3. Sometimes I obsess about the wrinkles that might appear on my forehead. I try and not wrinkle my eyes because I want to keep that fresh look about me. Aging is not a process that I am taking a liking to.
4. No secrete to thoughts that no me I think my boobs are my best physical feature and a source of many of my blog writings.
5. To my greatest fear I have become a lot like my mother. My mother has a pill for everything. So, I have a pill for everything. I take every know vitamin known to man. Got gas I got Beanno. Constipated I have fiber pills. Still constipated I got gloves and JY jelly for lubing you up. I have plenty of practice since I have been working as a nurse. Got heart burn I got zantac. Got nausea I got phenergan. Have asthma I have an albuterol inhaler.... and so on and so forth.
6. I can never shut off the nurse in me. Stub your toe I will baby you for comfort.
7. My family thinks sending me naked pictures of old women and men is funny. Why just this morning my cousin "big muscle guy" sent me a text wishing me a happy Halloween with an old naked woman. What I don't get is that this woman actually let someone take a picture of her. Maybe she wanted to be noticed for her wrinkled up body. Boobs deflated something to look forward to.
8. I am directionally challenged I get lost even with directions in front of me. I think that it is genetic.
9. My hair is my nemisis and it has been every color on the wheel. At times it has turned against me for coloring it so much.
10. I live by the Catholic girl code, if I don't remember it never happen.
11. In the name love I often have to suck it up and take one for the team. That includes putting myself in uncomfortable and unfamilar places for the people that I love. I know I am a marder. Usually there is nothing that I wouldn't do for my friends and that includes sticking my fingers into places for the sake of my hipocratic oath that I took the very day I became a nurse.
sincerely
Darn girl
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